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Original poster

To warn you all what you say and is overheard by little ears gets repeated round the classroom

64 replies

Utterlylostandneedtogo · 17/01/2013 15:32

And eventually makes its way back to the parent you were bitching about.

We moved areas and joined a new school last school year and, as one of the dc had a birthday soon after we threw a party and invited both classes to it as a chance to meet the parents. So far so good. Until you fast forward to now, my dc have both had birthdays and parties and never been invited to any and I've never spoken to any parent unless I've approached them and then they've made it clear they would rather not talk to me. I ignored it carried on with my life and was thankful I work and rarely, if ever, do the school run.

Anyway one of my cherubs came home from school just now and said that one of the children in their class has been told not to play with them because 'you look funny mum' and 'their mummy won't let them play with me but we do at lunch and keep it as our secret'

Just thought I'd warn you all everything is heard by the children and does get fed back.

That is all.

OP posts:
Original poster
Utterlylostandneedtogo · 17/01/2013 15:53

I know spicey I never knew such places existed! Grin I'm quite proud to be honest!

OP posts:
MrsTerryPratchett · 17/01/2013 15:53

I wish you were parent round here. It's all yoga pants and smugness here. Urg. I would pay money for some parents with piercings and dyed hair any other colour than blonde.

SummerRainIsADistantMemory · 17/01/2013 15:54

Performance = preference

ArbitraryUsername · 17/01/2013 15:54

I taught kids summer lessons at a sports club one summer. One of the kids in the group told me and the other staff that his daddy has handcuffs. We asked if he was a policeman, but no, his dad was a plumber. The poor parents probably had no idea that he knew about the handcuffs. We didn't say anything, but laughed about it in the staff room later.

Flobbadobs · 17/01/2013 15:55

Going off our rather Boden orientated schoolyard I would say that:
Alot of the women will have dyed their hair
Most will have some sort of piercings somewhere
And quite a few will have non visible tatoos, so there will be an awful lot of hypocrisy going on...

Lafaminute · 17/01/2013 15:56

That's awful - really horrible . I found it very hard to make friends when I moved to where I now live 5 years ago. I now have two good friends and am on nodding terms with most parents - which is as much as I think anyone really needs. Bear in mind that the comment you heard is the view of one parent - or maybe two and not everyones. There MUST be some decent folks in your area that are capable of independent, non-bitchy thoughts....Maybe it's time to teach your children some strong lessons about how judging people by their appearances is small minded and dangerous and make sure THEY pass this lesson on to their friends in the pg!!
BTW I have always been aware that my children will repeat things -to friends, other parents & in the classroom - they have heard as well as things they THINK they have heard as well as things they have not ever heard at all. DD once told the whole class - and teacher - that I had won the lottery & was not very rich. I had: ?12.00 & I had said I was rich to her in my excitment not realising it would make it to My News. That week everyone was very friendly to me - there's another story to tell your kids (to share w/their friends!)

littlewhitebag · 17/01/2013 15:57

I am not making any judgement - just trying to make sense of it. Seems utterly weird to me!

Lafaminute · 17/01/2013 15:57

sorry: that sound read: WAS very rich not: not very rich

MadBusLady · 17/01/2013 15:58

What always puzzles me about this is that even if it were ok to be judgey about scary new trends (which it isn't) punk/metal style is hardly a scary new trend. In fact it's so old it's basically a tradition in itself. But in some people's minds it seems to have been fixed as "big scary new, don't know how to deal with it" for about forty years! And yet these delightful specimens can't be much older than that themselves. Sheer lack of brain.

Spuddybean · 17/01/2013 15:59

:(

I was never invited to anyone's house or allowed to play with girls in my class at primary school, because i was 'nouveau riche'. Utter bastards. When i brought sweets in for the other children to take home, they were sent back and handed them to me saying 'my mum says i'm not allowed sweets from you' and they would say to me 'my mum says when you are older you will be crippled because of the shoes you wear' (non Clarks, Ravel patent shoes). It really is awful. Some people are cunts.

I feel sad for your dc - do they have other friends in clubs and things they can play with?

fromparistoberlin · 17/01/2013 16:00

They cant all be BODEN fuckers can they????
and they cant ALL be nasty surely?

god, I am so glad I attend school in the hood. No boden. Multiple nationalities. and 10 languages!

I hate the middle classes sometimes

sorry OP....

imogengladhart · 17/01/2013 16:02

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

TroublesomeEx · 17/01/2013 16:04

Unfortunately some people are like that Sad

I can completely believe it.

I was a goth in my teens and early twenties. By the time DS started school my look had toned down to a general 'alternative' and I had kept my couple of facial piercings and DMs and the like.

I'm not aware of my son having been told other children weren't allowed to play with him, but he certainly came home in year 2 and asked if I was "a goth" because at lunch time someone in year 4 or 5 had told him that their mum had said I was!

I just embrace my 'individuality' now. I've tried looking more like them and felt like I was in fancy dress!

PersonalClown · 17/01/2013 16:05

UtterlyLost- I'm liking the sound of you!! Where are you? We'd fit in well together!!

You sound rather like me.
I have stretched ears, piercings, tattoos and I have a Rocky/Alternative style of dress. No bright hair just yet. Giving the dye a rest for a while.

I've not noticed anyone bothered by the way I look. (or is it that I just don't care?)

MummytoMog · 17/01/2013 16:07

Come play with us - we're not invited to any of the coffee mornings/play dates because I work and OH stays at home most of the time...

Flobbadobs · 17/01/2013 16:10

I would love to have one of those earrings that stretches the hole in your earlobe but I have enough problems with the holes I already have in my ears.. Sorry to derail a bit but exactly how much do they hurt and can you start them off in an existing hole?
OP, I'm glad your DC have made friends elsewhere x

lastSplash · 17/01/2013 16:16

I wouldn't assume any judgement on you was made beyond the parent of the child that spoke to your DC about it. Even in that case, it could be a misunderstanding.

Did everyone come to your DC's party the first year? Did they come again for your other DCs or the following year?

Unpleasant school gate cliques are definitely not confined to excluding people for actual reasons...

PersonalClown · 17/01/2013 16:20

Flobbadobs - I only have my ears stretched to 6mm which is quite small in the piercing/modification world.

Any good piercing place (NOT Claires etc) will have horns or stretching posts.
You can use holes you already have. I used a kit like this for mine

You go half a mm to a mm each time. Your ear will burn like it's been cold for a while till it settles down. When you can freely twist and spin the bar in the hole with no pull, you can move up to the next bar.

It took me about 2 weeks to get to 6mm. You want to do them slowly so you don't have a 'blowout'.

If you stay under 10mm, the more likely it is that your ears will shrink back down if you decide to ditch the stretching.

SummerRainIsADistantMemory · 17/01/2013 16:21

Flob, you can buy stretching sets from any online piercing shop. They're not too expensive, the really important thing is to go very, very slowly. There's tonnes of good info online Smile

HecateWhoopass · 17/01/2013 16:34

Ahh. You're pierced, tattooed and dyed. Clearly you are a worshipper of Satan and if you ever get near their children, you will perform a dreadful ritual that will result in their head being replaced with that of a goat.

Get yourself in a teadress at once.
Grin

Flobbadobs · 17/01/2013 16:36

Really shouldn't click on the blowout link while eating my tea!! Thanks, I'll have a look into it when DD gets out of the pulling Mummy's earrings and hair stage Grin

SummerRainIsADistantMemory · 17/01/2013 16:40

Hecate... Only at the weekends. Weekday playmates are safe enough Wink

crypes · 17/01/2013 16:45

You should start smoking outside school gates. Where i live all the mums that smoke have the most friends. They must be such a laugh.

PersonalClown · 17/01/2013 16:45

I wish I looked this good in a dress!

Seabird72 · 17/01/2013 16:51

ut it was ok for their dc to attend a party thrown by you??! I particularly dislike the children who cosy up to my kids just before a birthday so that they get an invite to a party - and then never speak to them again until Christmas when they do the same in the hope that dc will give them xmas presents - just because dc have a habit of promising gifts beause they feel friends will stick with them if they buy/give them their toys !! Horrible that people actually feel they can make a comment and then tell their kids not to play with yours - nice that the children don't actually stick by these rules though even if it's in secret, they are still playing with your dc (hopefully most of them).

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