to be gutted about best friend not inviting me?

[SugarMouse1]

My close friend and me don't see each other that much anymore, but there was no fall out or anything.

Anyway, its her birthday in about a week.

She is having a bowling/drinking night for it and has invited loads of people I know on facebook, so she must have known I'd see it and find out?!

She didn't invite me, so I texted her today and asked her if she had plans for it, she said 'sorry, going out with family only'. Except she's not, she's invited loads of people, even some she told me before she didn't like much.

I'm so hurt, not so much because she clearly wants to end the friendship, but because she has lied about it.

Reply, "have a good night bowling with your mates then" and concentrate on other friends

thanks

but should I ever speak to her again?

You could Phone her after and ask how her night was and if she'd like to meet up for a coffee. See what she says, you'll have your answer. I think it is sad when friendships fizzle out, but sometimes they just run their coursez

Of course you can talk to her again - maybe a few years down the line?

What's the background? Hard to advise without any more info.

She sounds heartless anyway, yes, time to move on however hard that may be. But best for you....

Life is too short to waste on so called friends like this.

background?

We've been friends since secondary school

I went to huge efforts and expense to attend her 18th and 21st's.

I feel like its been thrown back in my face.

Is there something you have possibly done that has upset her? You say that there was no fall out or anything but i would have thought that there is definately a reason why she stopped contacting you. She is making it quite clear that she doesnt want to see you or having anything to do with you. Thats why I wondered if from her point of view, something did happen between you that has offended her. You could be honest and say that you have seen that she has arranged for a drinking bowling party and as she hasnt invited you, your just wondering if you have offended her in some way. If she says no then at least you tried.

awsangel- No, I've been trying to think and nothing comes to mind

I've asked a mutual friend as well- she says no, that this friend just doesn't like big events ?! wtf!

Then I would either have it out with her or take it that the friendship is over and have nothing to do with her again. Friendships do not always last but you will make loads more.

Hmm yes, this would upset me too, definitely.

Is there a particular reason why you don't see each other as much anymore? Tbh though, if she's having a big party/gathering, I'm not sure I would feel this excused it. She does have the right to invite whoever she wants, but she has lied about what she's doing and this is what makes it a bit odd.

She must know you can see who has been invited if it's on Facebook, so she's not going to much effort to come up with an excuse, which is even stranger.

The only reasons she has gone about this that I can think of would be a) if she knew you were short on money and she didn't want to put you under pressure to attend and pay (could this be a factor?) and b) that there will be someone at the party she is obligated to invite that you either don't get on with or who you wouldn't want to see.

If neither of those reasons are possible, I don't know what might be happening with her.

Personally, I would have to either ask specifically why you weren't invited (which will obviously involve some kind of confrontation) or back away and take this as the end of the friendship. Neither choice would be wrong, but you need to decide what to do.

Thanks everyone

TidyDancer- No, i don't think money was a factor, besides its only a night of bowing anyway.

Reason we don't see each other so much is because she has moved a little bit further away, I don't have a car and were both very busy.

The text sounds good. But otherwise I would have pulled her up on the just family at the time. It sounds like you just aren't that close any more. I wouldn't torture myself on fb about it, or get presents etc. why don't you call her and ask her outright? You don't have much to lose, as the friendship would be iffy after anyway. Make sure you really want to go bowling though! And maintain a closer friendship after. Perhaps she has new mates in a new area and is concentrating on them.