To be so fucking over men

[aroomofherown]

Ok, I sort of was, met a lovely man in April who 'couldn't handle it", ex-wife, 4yo daughter, ill mother, dr working 80 hours a week. I get that.

But I liked him a lot and it took me until two weekends ago to meet a man I fancied, who seemed to think I was lovely. Emailed several times a day, until tonight when it appears he's been super-snogging someone else last weekend.

Then an ex stayed for 5 days (over last weekend) - was super charming until he realised he wasn't getting a shag, then drank all my alcohol and became quite cold. And I caught him watching pole dancing on his ipad whilst sitting next to me on the sofa.

Is there such a thing as a good man? (Disclaimer: rationally, of course there is. But then why don't I meet them?)

Buck up old gel. There is someone just perfect out there waiting for you.
Erm, dunno how you hook up though.
Good luck.

Thanks Cailinsalach. I jus seem to get let down again and again. I didn't think I would be in this position but it hurts a bit.

From now on I always assume the worst in men, if I'm wrong and they turn out to be nice, bonus! My dad is fantastic though, so surely he can't be the only one...keep looking.

O.k. you need to stop dating (in whatever form, internet etc.) for at least 6 months.

Do what YOU want in life, maybe time to get clear on that.

When you're ready, and that might take a long time being on your own, the right man will come along when you are not looking.

You sure don't need any crap men in your life.....

And as for those exes.... Ignore, ignore, ignore. Go "No Contact".
They're an ex for a reason

That's the problem - I did stop dating for 7 months, worked out what I want in life (making massive steps towards that), and was hoping to meet a decent man, but feel utterly disappointed in them (again). I'm usually on my own but the right man hasn't come along yet. Not sure they exist to be brutally honest.

That ex is also a narc and an arse so I think I'll be tossing any contact with him

thanks for response suburbophobe btw!

Oh, and backtobedlam. It's too early, I should be sleeping still!

Can't you he happy being single?

Or, date women?

YAsoooooNBU.

Men are not worth the effort. Be friends with them, because that can be ace, but never, ever more, because that seems to turn them into shitheads.

I'm happier now I've ditched the idea of finding "the right guy" than I have been in years. It kind of sucks that proper, monogamous romantic relationships apparently don't exist, but you get used to the idea and it only makes me sad sometimes.

Sometimes they come along when your least expecting it. My dh did. Wasn't really even looking. So maybe the same will happen?!
Be happy with who you are, keep a little eye out and you never know what might happen! Know sometimes easier said than done but do hth!

What Galaxy said.

Galaxy I agree with you!

Khalil I've thought of dating women but not gay, really. Have been mostly single all my life so I've never been champing at the bit for company, am highly independent.

But it's not wrong to want a lovely relationship, makes holidays and rent cheaper

Don't want to sound funny but why was your ex staying for 5 days - as in, did you invite him for 5 days? I am far from old fashioned and am not judging, I'm just worried that you might be giving off signals to people which are then misread?

Fair question! He lives in Oz and was holidaying in Europe visiting friends etc and emailed me. I was a bit bored over Christmas and invited him over for a few days, but he ended up coming later for longer.

We went to school together so there's more history than just meeting and dating. Still an arse though

YAsoNBU. I'm so over men.

ExP is a twat.
'D'P sending mixed signals and generally being a knob.

Thankfully I'm bisexual so I have a whole 'nother gender to piss me off before I give up on love entirely