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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

About 'Easter Presents'

14 replies

MamaBear17 · 16/01/2013 16:23

My dd is 17 months old. She was utterly spoiled for Christmas by my parents, in laws and extended family. The grandparents got very excited about certain 'big items' that they wanted to buy her so we ended up letting them have first choice of toy and we bought her things like books, little zoo characters, colouring books and a little desk. Both sets of grandparents got utterly carried away and DD now has every toy and item of clothing imaginable. As well as buying her presents to bring home, both sets of grandparents bought toys to stay at their own houses so that she has something to play with when she goes there. Hubby and I are very grateful to our families for their generosity and in all honesty we had a brilliant Christmas. However, at the weekend I overheard MIL on the phone talking to a friend. She was talking about how lovely one of the expensive toys she had bought my niece for Christmas was and said that she was thinking about getting one for DD for Easter! She went on to say that there was no point in getting her an egg because we wont allow her to eat it (not strictly true, I would let her have a little bit but just not the whole egg!) Hubby clocked the conversation too and asked me what I thought. Long story short, we both agreed that she already has more than enough toys (Some still in boxes), we do not have the space for any more as the house is already over run and neither of us want her to be spoiled with stuff.

So, would it be unreasonable to say the above to the grandparents and ask if they could refrain from buying more stuff? I was thinking of suggesting that if they might like to take her out for the day instead, or if they want to buy something then buy her some shoes (as she grows out of them every 2 months!) but I do not want to seem cheeky. The problem is, both sets of parents were broke when they had their own children but are now in a position where they can spoil their grandkids. They love nothing more than buying things for her and are always very generous. Its lovely and well meant, but too much. Is it unreasonable to say no? Is there a better way I could handle this?

OP posts:
Squitten · 16/01/2013 16:29

My family completely spoil our kids at Christmas as they're the only babies as yet. We also have the added present avalanche of DS2's Dec birthday too so they get a LOT of new stuff at the end of the year.

If my relatives ask me, I have no problem explaning the toy mountain and asking them to either a) not bother with gifts or (if they really do want to give something) b) get something useful like shoes or put money in their bank accounts. They are happy about that and prefer to do something helpful for us rather than just give for the sake of it.

It is only something I would do if I was asked though. If they just turned up with a gift, I would accept it gratefully and say nothing!

Meggymoodle · 16/01/2013 16:42

We have the same with a friend of ours - who has kids for goodness sake so I don't know what's she's thinking about. Easter presents?? I'm definitely not reciprocating.

With regards to grandparents, I would say definitely no - my MIL has said she'll pay for swimming lessons or something in lieu of birthday presents as our two get so much stuff it's ridiculous. You could suggest something like that if they really want to do Easter presents.

SneakyNuts · 16/01/2013 16:47

MIL does this, any excuse to shop I think.

I don't think its U to say no, that's what we're going to have to do due to lack of space.

BerthaTheBogCleaner · 16/01/2013 16:53

Could you have a little chat about how dd got so much stuff for Christmas that some of it is still in boxes, and you're thinking of taking brand-new stuff straight to the charity shop because you just don't have the space? Not mentioning them buying things, just a general "sigh how difficult it is" conversation.

Actually, if both sets are at it, could you ask your mum for advice on how to tactfully ask MIL not to buy stuff? And then ask MIL for advice on how to tactfully ask your mum? Might they get the message?

JassyRadlett · 16/01/2013 17:01

My parents had a rule that the only Easter presents we got were books, which I think is a pretty fab idea - deals with the toy avalanche but they still get to shop? And it differentiates Easter a bit.

valiumredhead · 16/01/2013 17:04

I think it's rude to tell people what to buy tbh - you can always put it away in a cupboard and bring it out on a rainy day, she doesn't need it all at once.

Let them spoil her - a child having lots of 'stuff' doesn't mean they will be spoiled.

MamaBear17 · 16/01/2013 17:29

Thanks all. I think I might take the direct approach and just ask that they do not buy any more toys until her birthday. We already have a fair bit of stuff in boxes upstairs that I have put away, and still we are overrun with toys. I wont make alternative suggestions unless they ask for them. I am so lucky to have such generous family and I do know that but I also feel a bit like the maddness has to stop if you know what I mean?

OP posts:
elizaregina · 16/01/2013 17:31

unfortunalty we are not in that position - trying to reign in very generous GP's Wink but it I was I would personally definalty be steering cash towards lessons, bank accounts, or season tickets to local farms and the like...

The thing is - there is so much stuff out there you can get for penny's as well at car boots and the like -

I know what you mean valium - it is akward thats for sure...it also depends on what op can afford i suppose as well...

YorkshireDeb · 16/01/2013 19:04

I completely agree with you. We spoke to our families before our ds was born & asked if we could keep a lid on the amount they but him. We have a small house & literally don't have room for loads of toys. I think a day out or a pair of shoes are lovely ideas. X

littlewhitebag · 16/01/2013 19:15

My gran always used to buy us our summer sandals for Easter. My mum has always bought her GC clothes for Easter. Why don't you suggest this?

MerylStrop · 16/01/2013 19:19

Just chocolate
Small bit
Maybe some of those little pipecleaner chicks
YANBU.
Ask them to take her out for the day to see some chickens or lambs at a farm or something springlike.

bumpybecky · 16/01/2013 19:19

suggest a savings account or season ticket for local soft play / farm?

BeaWheesht · 16/01/2013 19:26

We do Easter presents but only clothes and a book (and egg).

The clothes are called 'pacey new' I think it's a regional thing - new clothes for new start and all that.

I would tell them that's what you're doing as dd got so many toys at Xmas that she won't be able to appreciate them all.

quirrelquarrel · 16/01/2013 19:43

Savings account is a really good idea I think.

Or maybe put it towards a kid-friendly holiday for when she's older?

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