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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To take 2 infectious-poxy children out in public...

346 replies

morecakerequired · 16/01/2013 12:44

My DTs have the pox. (spots still appearing so definitely still infectious) Last week my DD1 had it and we spent the whole week indoors as a result. (DS went to and from school by himself) This week I am having to do the school run as DD1 is too young to go with just DS for supervision due to the 2 busy roads to cross. I am taking DTs up to the school in their buggy with the rain cover over them - standing away from other people and leaving as soon as kids are in/out. (we live a 2 min walk from the school)

SO - WIBU to carry on after the school run and take the DTs out for a walk and maybe even go into the small local supermarket to pick up some essentials? WIABU to perhaps take the rain cover off if there were no other people around on the street at that time?

I am so fed up of being stuck in the house and DTs are too - 2 weeks is just too long - and I really think we would all benefit from some fresh air. I can't let them go out into the garden just now as it is under a foot of snow and I don't think getting cold and wet playing in the snow would really help them.

I don't think I'm being unreasonable, but a few of the mums at school have made pointed remarks about how I had better hope there are no pregnant mums/people with low immune systems in the playground so just wondering if taking them for a walk will be bad too? AIBU to think that in a buggy with a rain cover over them and not actually coming into direct contact with anyone they aren't going to infect anyone?

(perfectly happy to accept if IABU - genuinely curious)

OP posts:
MrsDeVere · 20/01/2013 11:48

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Velcropoodle · 20/01/2013 11:50

As a general rule you should avoid direct contact with people but it is only infectious with quite close contact.
However since you live so close to the school, would it be possible for some kind parent to collect your two and walk them to school?
By all means take the DTs out in the buggy but don't go near anyone. They are infectious until the last spot has crusted over, or 7 days after the first spot appears. But they will have been infectious for up to 3 weeks before that.
At the doctor's surgery, if we know a child might have chickenpox we will tell them to come down but sit them in a side room. We don't clear the waiting room and get the face masks out.

IamtheZombie · 20/01/2013 11:52

I was lucky that I was immunocompromised for only 4 and a bit months last year while I was having my chemotherapy. Being treated for cancer is bad enough without being told I should have to give up every other semblance of normality in my life for the duration.

< Links arms with Gigondas >

MrsDeVere · 20/01/2013 12:12

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Message withdrawn at poster's request.

hopeful92 · 20/01/2013 15:11

Basically, if you take your poxy child out in public, then you are a selfish prat.

snowybrrr · 20/01/2013 15:12

'There is a world of difference between taking out kids you know are infectious and unwittingly passing stuff on when you didn't realise. '

not really, the result is the same.

If it is absolutely vital not to catch CP- then you deliberately putting yourself at risk to go somewhere where there are lots of people, because (as has been said a gazillion times) what about those that don't know they are infected?

hopeful92 · 20/01/2013 15:23

Because you don't expect idiots to go out when infected snowybrr. And yes there is a moral difference between deliberately taking an infected person out and not knowing you are infected...

GrannyRatOnAScooter · 20/01/2013 15:25

Just stumbled upon this thread. It is INCREDIBLY selfish and dangerous to take an infected child out.

I caught CP when I was pregnant with DD. I was hospitalised and so poorly. I was so frightened as to any problems my baby might have suffered as a result and she was ultimately born with CP.

It was when she was 12 months old that we were told CP had caused developmental (neurological) problems and my DD has VERY poor vision, will never be able to drive a car etc. Its hard not to feel aggrieved.

hopeful92 · 20/01/2013 15:29

GrannyRat I am so sorry to hear about the problems your DD has due to the CP, this is why I am so annoyed that people are even suggesting that it is OK to take an infected child out in public!

IamtheZombie · 20/01/2013 15:30
Angry
Gigondas · 20/01/2013 15:37

Grannyrat I am so sorry about your dd

Snowybrr -thanks for that advice. If you have a time machine I will certainly go back and vaccinate myself before I got dx with cancer - am sure that zombie will do that too. Also if time machine is sealed I will use that for trips for chemo.

. The point about isolation is to prevent risk of cp spread- you can never eradicate that entirely but you can do a lot to reduce spread if people that are infected stay in isolation .

GrannyRatOnAScooter · 20/01/2013 15:55

Thank you Hopeful and Gigondas my DD is gorgeous and perfect to us but its heartbreaking when she says so matter-of-factly that she won't be able to drive a car. Her Consultant told us this last year in her presence so she heard it being said. When we were at Legoland in the summer, we were queuing to get the DCs Lego Driving Licences and my DD asked DH is she shouldn't drive as the Dr said she shouldn't Smile

I believed that I was immune as my DM said I'd had CP as a child with DBro and DSis but I obviously wasn't.

I remember it being really annoying when my DCs had CP that we were effectively under house arrest for a week or so but it's tough, I would never be so selfish to put others at risk for my own needs.

LittleMissFantabulous · 20/01/2013 16:03

I had to take my one year old out with chicken pox for three out of the five days he was uncrusted. No choice. None. I took as many precautions as I could to minimise him infecting anybody, but when you're single with practically no support at all you do what you have to do. And no, I couldn't leave the school run to anyone else, and I had no ability to 'grab an online shop' as there simply weren't enough funds in my bank account to do so. So I got my older two to school late to avoid the playground rush, and did a dash in the shop at the quietest time to avoid most folk. Sometimes there aren't any other options, and no amount of me wishing it otherwise can change that.

libelulle · 20/01/2013 16:05

I don't think you should take infected children out (save for the school run under a raincover).

But CP is so prevalent because it is most infectious before people know anything about it! It is just naive to believe that the prevalence of any illness so infectious that it infects 90% of children before they reach adulthood is going to be dramatically reduced by anything except mass vaccination.

Those with reduced immune systems can say 'so because of your selfishness I can't go out then?' but the reality is that you can't go out because of the basic epidemiological facts. You can make a moral argument about the case, but I don't think it will one jot change the likelihood of a chemo patient catching CP during an outbreak, because the people they most need to avoid don't carry a big sign saying 'chicken pox'. Even if every single person with visible CP stayed in, the risks of going out would still be enormous. That is the reality of the situation.

But I feel like I'm whistling in the wind here, so I will withdraw now.

TheDoctrineOfSnatch · 20/01/2013 16:25

The OP asked a genuine question as to whether her planned precautions were sufficient and accepted the answers fairly early on and said she would not go to the shop after all. Please can people stop calling her names?

I am really sorry for all who have suffered because of chicken pox. I certainly didn't know of all the possible serious effects before MN and I'm glad that I am better informed now. Thank you.

snowybrrr · 20/01/2013 16:45

GrannyRatOnAScooter I'm confused by your post.I though CP only caused nerve damage to the foetus, if the mum contracted CP during the first 20 weeks of PGcy, but you say your DD was actually born with CP? Confused

tiggytape · 20/01/2013 16:52

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Message withdrawn at poster's request.

snowybrrr · 20/01/2013 16:56

hmm but the type of damage she is talking about, if I recall correctly, is specifically caused by CP in early PG.

Thinkingof4 · 20/01/2013 16:56

I agree with doctrine OP has now said she will do online shop and school run with suitable precautions so she has listened!!
A poster a couple of pages back (sorry cant remember name) has said she is isolating her ds because he was exposed to cp at a play date. Now this to me is a bit crazy, incubation can be as much as 3 weeks, and he might not even get it! My boys have each been exposed on several occasions but none have had it yet. If I did this I would never leave the house!
There are some very sad stories on here highlighting how serious cp can be, but there is a lot of wrath directed towards the "selfish fuckwits" etc who exposed them. There is no way of knowing exactly who exposed you unless they were the only person you had contact with for 3 weeks! Most infection is passed on before spots appear, so the parents can't possibly know their child is infectious. Bit unfair to call them all fuckwits isn't it.

snowybrrr · 20/01/2013 16:59

oh and libellule post is spot on .She is saying what I was trying to put across, but much more eloquently.

tiggytape · 20/01/2013 17:01

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BoffinMum · 20/01/2013 17:03

I think a compromise is in order - fresh air is necessary for you all to avoid going bonkers but I would stick to places where you won't encounter too many people, or where you know people have had chicken pox, eg a visit to another family you know well.

I do think wrapping them up and making a big igloo in the garden or something might be a way of passing the time.

tiggytape · 20/01/2013 17:06

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

snowybrrr · 20/01/2013 17:44

Tiggytape- you haven't read my post properly.
I have not said CP is not dangerous to neonates,But CP infection has a different effect on foetuses prior to 20 weeks ie causing problem with the development of the nervous system and typically eye problems.

hopeful92 · 20/01/2013 17:52

Snowy Are you seriously suggesting that the lady who said her daughter now has problems due to CP in pregnancy is lying? Jesus... I didn't realise quite how bitchy this place was!