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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To not be bothered about going abroad on holiday?

21 replies

littlemisssunny · 16/01/2013 09:49

My OH just doesn't understand that I'm really not bothered about going abroad on holiday!

I was very lucky as a child and went to Spain for 2 weeks every summer from the age of 9, and have been to America and other places before having children as it took us a long time to conceive so we booked holidays to look forward too.

I have been to everywhere I really want to go abroad, there are places I wouldn't mind going back too, and places I wouldn't mind going too.

I am not a big fan of flying and I am more than happy with a weeks holiday in a caravan in Wales! I am grateful for this as not everyone can even afford this.

My OH and his sisters have travelled all over the world and we priced up a holiday in Spain for a week in half term and it was extortionate! We couldn't afford it anyway!

So Aibu to not be bothered and rather have a weeks uk holiday every year rather than save for a couple of years for one week?

OP posts:

WorraLiberty · 16/01/2013 09:56

Of course YANBU

But it's about give and take in a relationship, unless you get to choose every holiday you all go on.

pugsandseals · 16/01/2013 09:58

I understand where you are coming from. Have been promising DD (age 10) that we will take her abroad for at least the last 3 years, but once you factor in the costs involved (we would all need new passports before we even start) I just get to a stage where I can't be bothered! Why wait 2 years for a holiday when in that time you could have had 3 in the UK? UANBU

DonkeysDontRideBicycles · 16/01/2013 10:07

YANBU and believe you should cut your coat according to your cloth ie don't go over budget just for the sake of it. Maybe look out for bargains so you get some foreign sun if OH misses going abroad.

My OH just doesn't understand is he giving you grief about this?

Original poster

littlemisssunny · 16/01/2013 10:10

I wouldn't say he is nasty about it, but he just doesn't get why I'm happy not to go abroad, if we could afford it I would go, but likewise I am just happy for us to have a holiday at all.

He seriously lacks empathy and finds it hard to understand people who don't have his view on things!

OP posts:

DonkeysDontRideBicycles · 16/01/2013 10:12

Not wanting to derail your topic but this sounds difficult.

EuroShagmore · 16/01/2013 10:17

I've had some fab holidays in the UK, but there is a lot of world out there and I enjoy exploring it when I can afford to.

oddslippers · 16/01/2013 10:31

I would rather holiday in UK my dh only fully 'switches off' when abroad, while the children have been little we have done all holidays in UK, now they are older 5 and 9 we are going to alternate. Last year we went abroad this year we'll do UK. It doesn't need to cost a fortune we did Ryan air flights and self catering accommodation booked through an owners website. This was a great holiday and I thoroughly enjoyed it. I think both your and your dh's preferences need to be considered and a compromise reached.

valiumredhead · 16/01/2013 10:42

YANBU at all.

WaynettaSlobsLover · 16/01/2013 10:47

Yanbu. There are stunning and fantastic places to go in England anyway. Me and dh are obliged this year to go to his home country to meet all his family, but prior to that we were thinking about staying in one of those lovely country cottages for a week with the kids, just long walks fresh air and a log fire! Dh comes from a very hot country but loves the English winter, so it's def something we want to do at some point. Things are so expensive now so I don't blame you for not being bothered. It's going to cost us over £3K just to go on this holiday which is a lot for us. I think some people see holidays abroad as essential for some reason.

VoiceofUnreason · 16/01/2013 10:52

YADNBU. I didn't have my first holiday abroad until last year. And I'm 38!

Floralnomad · 16/01/2013 11:11

YANBU I don't like going on holiday anywhere ,UK or abroad . I've always had enough after a couple of days , and yes I have done beach holidays , city breaks , theme parks etc in Europe and America . Can't stand it ( although I don't mind a couple of days at Disneyland Paris )

Original poster

littlemisssunny · 16/01/2013 11:20

I am happy to compromise if we can afford it, but he just doesn't get how I am happy not to go abroad! I have fair skin anyway and burn to a crisp, at least you don't have to worry about that in north Wales!!

OP posts:

MathairMahoney · 16/01/2013 11:26

YANBU if you live somewhere in the UK where the sun occasionally comes out...

Clara35 · 16/01/2013 11:33

Yanbu! The last 3 years we have went to south of Ireland & have had 3 of the most relaxing holidays. I live in Northern Ireland so great to drive without worrying about planes & boats. This year going to France & panicking about flights already!

WhoKnowsWhereTheTimeGoes · 16/01/2013 11:35

YANBU. We don't really agree about holidays either, I prefer fairly active ones, don't mind the odd day at the beach, or just go for a couple of hours and do other stuff for the rest of the day and am quite happy in this country. DH would spend his entire holiday on the beach or at the pool given the choice which really means abroad given our weather. However as he never lifts a finger to organise any of it and I don't really want the hassle of passports, insurance, currency, language issues, when I'm quite happy to stay in the UK, we mainly stay in the UK. I also like being able to just chuck everything in the car and go rather than using airports, I find them stressful.

DeWe · 16/01/2013 11:38

We've never been abroad. Lovely places in this country and the dc are always happy.
My dsis has burnt in North Wales though

BettySwollocksandaCrustyRack · 16/01/2013 12:25

YANBU.

I amd your OH in that I love holidaying broad, my DH though isn't bothered about holidays at all, abroad, UK or otherwise.

Compromise is the key word. As long as you don't stop him having his fix then all well and good. We didn't have a holiday at all last year and so this year I will make sure DS and I get away, and leave DH to decide whether he wants to come or not.

pugsandseals · 16/01/2013 13:16

compromise is all very well, but when you are talking about the difference between £500 (UK) & £3000 (abroad) that money needs to come from somewhere! If we could go abroad for £500 including passports I would have no problem, but the chances of that in school holidays are pie in the sky!!!

HazleNutt · 16/01/2013 13:22

YANBu not to want, but your OH obviously does and you don't seem to be understanding his point of view either.

Original poster

littlemisssunny · 16/01/2013 13:29

hazle we have priced it up and it was over £2,000 plus passports plus spends plus new clothes and taxis etc whereas a week in a caravan is less than £500 a big difference. We looked and agreed we couldn't afford it, he just doesn't understand how I can be just as happy in a caravan!

OP posts:

ThreeBeeOneGee · 16/01/2013 13:30

I'd also rather not go abroad. Have been lucky enough to travel to a couple of dozen different countries and it was interesting and fun at the time but not what I'd choose to do for a family holiday.

I hate all the waiting around at airports, being herded like sheep.

I also have a rule that for a seven day holiday, the journey should take no more than seven hours door-to-door, which rules most countries out as you have to travel to the airport so many hours before your flight.

As a child, I used to have to do long-haul flights to visit my parents, so it's not something I associate with holidays or happy times.

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