to think people who have travelled think they are better than others?

[MontagueCapulet]

Or perhaps I just know smug people?

I traveled around Asia in my early 20s - does anyone on here care? No.

Do I think I'm better than people who haven't traveled? No.

One guy I know traveled for a year maybe 7 or 8 years ago and is still constantly bringing it up.

I'm not saying all people are like this but some have a rather smug and better than thou attitude when it comes to how many countries they have traveled to.

Well, a rolling stone......

YABU.

I certainly don't look down on people who haven't travelled, but I know that I learnt a lot from my travelling days.

That doesn't mean I think I'm better than anyone else.

Well you have answered your own question there, some people do and some don't.

Although I'm not sure how he is being smug by mentioning his travels, I'm sure you mention Asia sometimes too.

I haven't travelled abroad much but I bring up things that happened years ago if they have been a big part of my life.

I think the answer's in your post! are YBU to think people who've travelled look down on others? Well, you've travelled round Asia. So either you too look down on others in which case YANBU - or you don't look down on others in which case, yes, YABU. You can't have it both ways.

YANBU / YABU

A close mate travelled for a year. Apparently, hanging out with exclusively english speaking holidaymakers other travellers in various countries where she could get her drugs of choice made her a cut above other travellers tourists.

I realise that not all people are like this, hence my fence sitting above.

Hmm- I know the type you mean, but not sure that they're ubiquitous. I'd actually say "more interesting" rather than "better" , as I think that's a more accurate indication of what they think.

There are a lot of the type sunnywith showers mentions- people who have basically got drunk in 45 different countries, and they tend to be the smug ones. The ones who spent 2 years teaching in a remote Chinese village with no other westerners within a day's drive, or who have done 7 summits tend to be far more self-effacing.

Agree 100% with rich man..
The ones who aren't tourists but 'travelers' are the ones who get my goat. The travelers who'd sit for two hours in Kho San Road having dreadlocks sewn into their hair just before flying home to prove themselves of not having showered for months due to the traveling.

My SIL is a "traveller", she is never a mere "tourist".
She makes it clear that the rest of us are only tourists.

But then again, I've just had to learn to accept that everything she does is better than anything I could possibly do.

I know the sort of people you mean OP, but I think it's unfair to tar everyone with the same brush.

I know someone who moved back to her mums, so she could basically go on a lot of holidays and then she would chuff on about "when she went travelling".

Then again, I know other people who really did go travelling who don't mention it much.

Yep, when I started university all the posh/rich kids spent their gap years travelling and doing what they considered to be worthy voluntary work.

When they told me they'd spoon fed lepers in Mexico City or whatever they'd pause as if they were waiting for me to congratulate them/give them a blowjob in recognition of the selfless humanitarianism they'd displayed. Seemed confused when I just said 'oh'

Of course it was all about them, salving their conciseness/boosting the CV whilst living it up for a year on daddy's coin. If they really gave a shite about the poor they'd have got daddy to send a cheque for the equivalent cost of their jolly up to a proper aid organisation. Ironic thing is that most of these cunts work in the city now.

I actually had a gap year too, I worked in a Vinegar Factory and when that finished I signed on the dole. When one of the wannabe Mother Theresas heard this she said: 'wow I've never met anyone who has been unemployed before' Somehow I managed to do (to her) the most exotic thing ever by just cycling to the dole office once a fortnight.

OP, you don't know what anyone thinks. You only know what they do or say, as the logical conundrum of your OP makes clear. You have travelled therefore you must look down on others. Err...but you appear to be different from others.

But then it would be a less interesting thread to say, aren't people who bang on about travel boring. Far more interesting to ascribe motives to them which are all assumed by you.

And breathe.

I don't think travel is a reasonable thing to hold against other people. Pomposity and gracelessness, as described by ComposHat - what a thing to say! - might be.

I remember working with a guy who was well travelled and who insisted on letting everyone know. Well, one day he insisted on lecturing me about my birth country. He seemed to think that back packing through it as a student trumped me who lived there and who often went back to visit relatives and friends.

So, yes, some people do think they are better.

I agree in principle but it is very easy to have a Guardian reader opinion about developing countries and believe that they need to be educated to have western ideals. I have lived in Asia for years and I do find it uncomfortable, especially in the BF threads when the attitude is "those poor uneducated little people don't do their best for their baby"

I'm well travelled and it changed me. DH isn't and in the early days we had a few issues over the fact I felt utterly blessed due to knowing that living in my bedsit I was still probably in the top 1% in terms of wealth globally. That probably makes me sound utterly tedious and I rarely voice my views but I can't be doing with grumbling in a significant other. Luckily DH saw where I was coming from and now counts his blessings.

None of this makes me "better" but I think I'm happier than a lot of people and for that I'll be encouraging my DSSs and DS to travel.

I think living for a while somewhere completely different can give you a perspective that might be otherwise missing..not just different. We can get very wrapped up in our own cultural world view.

Having said that, I've certainly met people who collect experiences that are verbally paraded at any opportune moment. I've also had conversations where my life choices are questioned...yes they may be less exotic. And?

But then there's people who tell me they live in London, with an expectant pause.

I traveled all over the world for a few years, working to fund it and having a whale of a time. I ate things I would never put near my mouth again, learned to swear in several different languages (all forgotten now), met all kinds of interesting people from all walks of life and generally had a ball.

Does it make me better than anyone else? No

It does mean that watching films like Best Exotic Marigold Hotel make me smile and remember the sights and smells, and it has made me more aware of cultural differences and similarities.

So yes, YABU to try to tar everyone with the same brush, but YANBU because you traveled yourself and know that not everyone is like that!

YABabitU. Most people I know who are very well travelled tell wonderful stories and are not condescending at all. However, my fucking father is so patronising and tells me I'm missing out by not seeing the world. It wouldn't hurt so much if the reasons I don't travel (I would LOVE to) were not that a.) I have a disability and b.) I can't afford it. Patronising git!

I would agree that some people think their life experiences make them somehow superior to others, yes. I think for that type of person it will extend beyond been abroad/not been abroad .... it can include have/haven't got kids. Have/haven't worked in a big city. Can/cannot drive. Have/have not got a degree, etc etc.

It's true, the 2 genuinely well traveled people that i know (and we're talking being hard pushed to find a country they haven't visited, often alone, and without a tour guide, traveling regularly over the last 20 to 30 years) barely seem to mention their experiences. When pushed they are fascinating to talk to.

Alongside this there are a couple of 30 somethings in the family, who constantly re-tell the same couple of anecdotes about their student holiday 'year of traveling' (usually with themself as the main componant of the story) whenever 'abroad' comes up in conversation, with this smug, superior, i'm so well traveled i'm almost exhausted, attitude.

Ime most well travelled people are not like this, but there are a few. I shall always remember the friend who visited us in our house after we had finally managed to get married and live together after a 10 year long distance relationship, and our first child had been born after a difficult and precarious pregnancy. He had come from an extended holiday/voluntary work in India, and his gentle pity at our uneventful lives shone through every sentence. Bless him.

People who have travelled, not those who have been on lots of holidays in compounds, generally are more open minded and tolerant IME. That does not, however, make them better and if they feel themselves to be better, then they have learnt the wrong lessons.

Om shanti.

< dons outrageous hat >

Well, I think travelling changed me for the better so Would I Be Being Unreasonable to think it might do the same for others - if they had the opportunity ?

I loved my travels and living in Japan for a year and mention it at every opportunity Is that soooo bad ?!

Nah, some people are dickheads. Whether they've been travelling or not is irrelevant. You sound jealous or something just because he brings it up. I went travelling (worked for 6 months, travelled for the other 6) and it changed my life. I'm not sure I can think of anything else (thus far) which has had such a profound effect on me. I don't bring it up much but if I did....so what? I suspect it's about context and attitude.

I hate people bragging () but dickheads brag about anything.

I find that people who I know have travelled talk about it a lot often many many years later. I take the view that it must have been a really important life experience for them that it still stands out, so I'm quite tolerant of it. However, all the experiences same to be pretty much the same and not terribly interesting so in that respect it's rather like parenting.

Liked the clip msrisotto