To be sad about turning 30 in a few months time.

[Nearly30YearOld]

I probably am, but I feel like my 20's just flew by too quickly. Everything is a big haze with more sad memories than good, even though I graduated, got married, had my children. It feels like I've lived one big disorganised messy life so far.

You always hear how your 20's are supposed to be the time you're full of energy and have great skin and hair, but I can't say I've had that. My hair started turning grey at 21, I've alway had crappy skin due to being told from my teens that young skin doesn't need any kind of facial scrub, when mine so obviously did. Only 5 years ago when I discovered garnier's 3 in 1 mask/scrub/wash did my skin begin to look flawless and clean, but even then worry lines had set in due to family problems and recurrent miscarriages. I look at friends in Facebook who are the same age and they look so young and worry free.

My work life hasn't been the best. I worked my way up from the bottom in my chosen career but working 9 hours a day with constant deadlines and being worked to the bone by my manager took its toll on my health and my self esteem. I left my job out of anger and dread working in the same industry again, incase people try to walk all over me again.

So I'm 30 in a few months time and I haven't got much to show for it, apart from my beautiful children and a marriage that was on the verge of breaking down same time last year due to DH sharing all my most private conversations with his family. I feel like I can't trust him anymore.

Iabu? Should I just pull myself together, because its just a number isn't it?

God I just read that back and the second paragraph sounds so vain. .

it sounds to me like you've achieved alot for 30. I'm 31 and I started going grey at 13 been dying my hair ever since. made no difference to me, at least I have hair. Think of those people going through chemo or have alopecia.

plus you have children, alot of people who do anything for children. You're married - everyone has their ups and downs, you've got a career and a degree.

I;m not quite sure why you're fretting and upset. you seem to have alot to be grateful for. enjoy your last few months of your 20s and embrace your 30s.

I have no sympathy for you because I am turning 40 next month!! I think having beautiful children is a huge amount to show for your life.

My 30s are rapidly running out, but I can honestly say I've really enjoyed them. I enjoyed my 20s too, but feel as though I've learnt so much this decade.

I'm a bit freaked out about turning 40, though, so understand how you feel!

I am very thankful for my children. The hair and face thing is just stupid. It looks stupid written down. My children are very special to me and have got me through the bad days. Maybe I am just being stupid. They do say the 30s are more relaxed. Hopefully I'll be able to remember more good times when I turn 40!

eh 30s were so much better than 20s and so far 40s have been even better!

You know I found my thirties much better than my twenties and I hope you do to. I found myself a much more confident person, new what I wanted, liked who I was and how I looked for the first time in years. My dad had a great philosophy on life, he always said its a privilege to grow old as so many don't get the opportunity, so live each day and make the best of what you've got and for goodness sake be happy. Not that I think 30 is old its just a nice way of looking at all life's hurdles. God suddenly got quite tearing thinking about my dad.

Yanbu, I was terrified too but was childless and about to embark on IVF due to infertility. Dd has made me forget about age!

You are doing well, sorry to hear about dh and your career, do you have any life goals you could look to achieve in your 30s? Learning French or travelling or voluntary work etc?

You wait until you turn 40! I was hysterical! LOL!!!
I thought that was a total nightmare - but..... My 40's have been the best time of my life so far.
I 'found' myself after waaaaay toooo many years.
I look better than I ever have.
You're not so afraid to speak your mind or take chances.
Stop being so down on yourself.
You have lovely children and you're about to turn 30. So what!?
It is just a number and your 30's are meant to be the best of your life.
I don't think we really know what we want in our 20's to be honest.
Enjoy turning 30, enjoy your 30's and then you can cry when you turn 40!!!

If you were happy in your life, then 30 would just be a number.

The problem isn't the number, it's everything else - turning 30 is just a focal point, not the problem itself. You've had work-related stress, relationship problems, and miscarriages within the last year or so, so of course you are not happy.

Focus on what you can do to improve those things - maybe some form of counselling about the work stuff, and separately for your marriage? Then you can look forward to your 30s in a more positive mood.

Im 40 next month and im really trying to take stock of my life.I cant believe im 40 and plenty of it

I remember feeling the same except i hadnt achieved half that you have. Youve got the toughest adjustments to adulthood out of the way..your next decaade us about building on that and enjoying it. (Or would you rather be me, 39 andhaving a baby any day)

Thank you everyone.

Babs, I hope I do find my 30s more fun. Hopefully the children will be older and maybe I can start living a life outside of being a Mum again occasionally!

KoalaTale, I really want to start my own business, so I suppose that is something I could focus on for the next few years. It's just making the effort to get the ball rolling. I have so many ideas and not enough time to do anything about them.

Hi, i understand how u feel! I'm 30 in September with a 18 month dd in a new part time job (to accomodate childcare) that i dont love an husband walked out after 8 years at the weekend. This year doesn't seem so exciting either! X

Sounds to me like you've achieved a lot! My 20's were disorganised and I sympathise, my 30's are more settled even though this is so far the decade that I have made the most dramatic choices in my life. I feel happier in me, more confident and settled within myself. so far 30's knock the socks off 20's.

Sounds to me like you have a lot to be thankful for.

I turned 30 last year.

I don't have a husband or a child and would like to have both one day but have never been in the right relationship (although I do now have a lovely DP)

I also don't have much hair, as due to a genetic condition I lost a lot of it in my late teens so I have the most pathetically thin ponytail and it continues to fall out.

I have bad skin too, due to hormone treatment, so I still get big spots like a teenager

Plus I also get worked too hard (I have been known to do 20 hour days...yes really) and there have been times when I have hated my job so much......

BUT what I do have is a positive attitude and outlook to life, so even though everything is not perfect, I am deeply grateful for the things I do have (good family and friends, get paid well, nice house, lots of hobbies) and enjoy my life. I actually have a friend who's sister probably will not live to see 30 (terminal illness) so I have really learnt to live life to the full.

Oh and I also have a good collection of hats as well

Honestly don't look back! It can't be doing you any good coming up to 30 and regretting the past decade so focus on the next ten.

We all have certain regrets but either you write off and dismiss it all, or you cherry pick the highlights.

Nobody looking at you in 10 years time will think,
"Oh there's Nearly30YearOld, isn't she great, lovely person great DCs PITY HER 20s WERE BEST FORGOTTEN".

I turned 30 a couple of months ago and came at this from another point of view. My 20s were full of up's and down's, the last few years have mainly been the up's and I saw it as the start of a new chapter. My 20s were about making mistakes and working out who I wanted to be, what mattered to me, my son and my husband etc. When I turned 30 I took opportunity to take stock of all this, celebrate it and decide what my next steps would be. I agree with fergus enjoy now building on the outcome of those difficult transitional years. I certainly am and it is liberating!

YANBU - turning 30 is a pretty horrid benchmark, because it feels like you're no longer young. Then you get there and realise it's not actually that bad and turning 40 is a whole lot easier than 30.

I am 47 now. I bloody wish I was 30 again - to have my health and fitness unimpaired and not to be creaking like an old door when I get out of a chair.

But I must say to you that the years from 35 to 45 were the most amazing of my life. I achieved more than I had ever done before, I was glad to have already had my DCs and not be waiting for the 'right man, right job, right time' to come along (because it never did).

The DCs got older and I had more freedom...for some reason I settled into my looks, got more confidence and really started to shine - I was quite a stunner I think .

I hope you have a GREAT third decade, onwards and upwards...

Thanks Fergus, that's a good way to view things. Good luck with your baby.

Sorry about your husband Las. Last year I thought my marriage was over, but it goes through peaks as troughs.

Oscar, I think I have developed so much as a person over the 10 years and hope I can make my 30s more settled too.

MWB, that really puts things into perspective, I'm really sorry about your sister. Us humans are never happy are we?

Our twenties are often really turbulent. There is so much societal pressure about what we should look like and should be doing at certain ages. Fuck it, measure your life by your own standards!

Sounds like you've had some tricky times but have achieved a lot. Turning 30 can mark a new chapter for you - something very exciting and new.

I was really excited to turn 30. It's the new 21 don't you know!

Think about getting yourself something really fabulous for your birthday - to you from you - as a reward for all your hard work and mothering in your twenties.

The 20's are shit and anyone who tells you something different is trying to sell you something. I too dreaded turning 30 but my 30's were amazing, everything clicked for me. It's when I came into my own.

You've had your tough times, now time for some fun with your beautiful children, your fantastic skin, your fabby hair, and that career you're going to sort out now you know what you don't want.

CuttedUpPear, that's boosted my confidence a bit. I suppose the children will both be in school by the time I'm 33 so more time to do other things.

Wilson, that's exactly the thing. Why does everyone talk about the 20's like they're the best thing ever? It's in all the magazines and health sites. Wish they wouldn't go on about it to make people like me feel like I missed out on something.