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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To not expect people to keep commenting on my weight???

17 replies

tesremos · 15/01/2013 12:47

In the past 2 weeks about 7 different colleagues have commented on my weight and how they think I am looking 'thin' since returning to work after have DS2. Several people who barely know me have said that I obviously don't eat enough! When I stated that I thought it was cold yesterday someone even replied that its cause need to eat more. Now am I being unreasonable to think that people are being very rude when they do this. I weigh exactly the same as I did prior to DS2. Yes I am slim...always have been and so are both my parents but this doesn't give people the right to comment on it all the time. It's really starting to upset me...I'm pretty sure that they don't go round telling fat people they have put on weight so why is it ok to say it to me?!!? Rant over!!!!

OP posts:

MrsMelons · 15/01/2013 12:50

they are jealous thats all!

I put on a stone recently and ALL my clothes were tight and people constantly said you don't need to lose weight - they were all bigger than me. I knew I did (I was heavier than after I had been after giving birth to DS2) but it really wound me up. Its almost like they would prefer me to be fat!

OxfordBags · 15/01/2013 12:57

If your colleagues saw you heavily pregnant, it could just be that the last images they have in their head of you is you looking big, so for you to be back to normal actually seems very small to them, IYSWIM?

Imnotaslimjim · 15/01/2013 13:00

I think its partly because as a society now, being overweight is more "normal" (for want of a better word)

I keep getting told that my DS is underweight as you can see his ribs - its normal for a child! He is slightly taller than his peers, and average weight, so I know there is no problem!

Its either that or they're jealous. So either way, just ignore them!

Original poster

tesremos · 15/01/2013 13:01

It is so annoying....I would NEVER be rude enough to comment on someone's weight! I am getting to the point that I want to say something back but don't trust myself not to be spiteful!!

OP posts:

Theicingontop · 15/01/2013 13:03

The contrast must be striking though, if the last time they saw you, you were ready to go off on ML.

It's rude either way. Yanbu.

Original poster

tesremos · 15/01/2013 13:04

Yes we have the same with DS1...he is tall and slim (like mummy!) and does a quite a bit of sport. At the age of 5 he has clearly defined muscles and yep you can see his ribs too! He is perfectly healthy but family are constantly saying to me that he is 'too thin'

OP posts:

ChippingInNeedsSleepAndCoffee · 15/01/2013 13:05

They are just concerned for you - there's really no need to take offence.

OhThisIsJustGrape · 15/01/2013 13:09

Oh I get this a lot too, I'm a size 6-8 and people seem to think its perfectly ok to tell me that I'm too thin and that I need to eat more. I also get told that I'm cold because I don't eat enough, if I complain about having a numb bum after sitting still for too long (school concerts etc) it's because I don't have enough meat on me.

I've even been told that my boobs are way too small because I'm too thin.

I'm naturally petite (just over 5' tall) and just because I choose not to overeat people think I'm fair game for insulting. No-one would think it acceptable to say similar things to an overweight person so why is it ok to say it to someone who is slim?

It really does make me angry. And yes, the majority of people who see fit to comment are bigger than me.

Boomeringue · 15/01/2013 13:10

I used to get comments on being thin,until a friend suggested that I say,"yes,I work out all the time". Somehow,you're not allowed to be naturally thin,but it's ok if you've worked for it.

AMumInScotland · 15/01/2013 13:12

How about saying "My BMI is x - which is in the healthy zone. What's yours?" I do think we have got so used to overweight that a healthy normal weight does look unusual.

MrsMelons · 15/01/2013 13:13

There was a really interesting thread recently about how a lot of 'Brits' are overweight and that it is becoming the norm so people do not actual realise people look overweight and that 'average' is not necessarily normal it is exactly that 'average'.

I don't think any offence would be meant by those people but there is no need to comment unless they are seriously taking you to one side to express real concerns. I got to 6 and a half stone before anyone dared to comment on my vast weight loss, if they hadn't I may have become very very ill.

At least they are not asking you when your baby is due or something like that

BoerWarKids · 15/01/2013 13:16

YANBU.

I hate it that "you've lost weight/you look slim" is considered a compliment

I wish weight, diet, exercise regimes were just not discussed. Very tedious.

slatternlymother · 15/01/2013 13:21

YANBU. I am losing weight at the moment (only about 5lbs over my top BMI weight, but it's good to get it under control now).

The amount of comments I've had in the office! I don't mind them bringing cake, but is there any need to keep offering it to me, or say 'come on, you know you want to'... 'it's just a stupid diet' and trying to tempt me in.

I don't want to eat those foods and it's really starting to get me cross!

worsestershiresauce · 15/01/2013 13:21

They might just be concerned for you, as most people think long and hard before saying something to someone's face. Muttering behind their back is the first stage. If you have lost a lot of weight very quickly, and it has come off your face and arms you may look very unwell, even if your weight is the same as pre pregnancy.

vicky228 · 15/01/2013 13:22

YANBU but people are only trying to be nice. Most people struggle to lose their baby weight so I would take it as being a 'haven't you done well' comment.

I can understand that you find it personal and don't like it, but personally I'm thrilled when people comment that I'm back to my pre-preg size. Genuinely, it makes my day.

PetiteRaleuse · 15/01/2013 13:23

Back in the old days I weighed just over 7stone despite eating plenty. Right through my childhood I was bullied, for want of a better word, for being skinny. Children and adults thought it acceptable to call me names and make rude comments about my weight, or accuse me of having eating disorders.

YANBU OP I got to the point where I was incredibly self conscious about my body shape.

Then at a certain point my metabolism caught up with me and I'm now normal weight. And people who knew me before now find it acceptable when they see me or pictures of me to tell me how much weight I've put on blah blah blah. To the point where I have to repeat to myself that I am not overweight, I'm just a couple of stone heavier than I was before and to people who were used to me being skinny that seems like a lot. I would love to have the nerve to make similar comments back at them but I don't think I could be that cruel.

There's just no need to comment either way, except where you are genuinely concerned. We are all very aware of our weight without other people's input.

multitask · 15/01/2013 13:25

Most people have forgotten what normal weight looks like!

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