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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

AIBU to expect to be able to take my DD to actitivites on weekends?

20 replies

WishingTree · 15/01/2013 11:16

I work full time as does my DH. Our DD who is 2.5 yrs goes full time to nursery. I am trying to organise activities for DD and me/DH to do on weekends - learning and fun for her plus bonding with parent. We've got a lot of great activities for kids in my area (NW6) - music, dance, swimming - but these are all on weekdays! I have been in touch with various providers in the neighbourhood and either they don't have weekend sessions, or if they do, it is fully booked (class of no more than 6!) or way out for me (40 minute car drive to the nearest toddler swimming lesson in Edgware!). Am I unreasonable to expect lessons on weekends so that I too as a working parent can get involved? I am not saying the provider should not get a break - but what do other working parents do - is gettting a nanny the only option? Anyone know of any good weekend activities in NW6 London?

OP posts:

WorraLiberty · 15/01/2013 11:25

Why do the weekend activities have to be so structured?

Take her swimming, to soft play, to the park, to the forest, to a farm etc...

amazingmumof6 · 15/01/2013 11:29

you are very reasonable to want to do activities at the weekend, loads of people do (hence being booked up!)

do the busy places have waiting lists?

I'm sure if you'll get some great advice here, but I can't suggest any as my kids are older so all their clubs/extra lessons are either during or after school.
we only take them swimming on Saturdays, but it is not a prepaid lesson, just turn up.

have you tried tumble tots?

irregularegular · 15/01/2013 11:32

Yes, it's a little bit annoying if you want to do those sorts of activities and they are not easily available. On the other hand, I don't think they are important at this age and I don't think your child is missing out. She will do singing and possibly dancing at nursery. Swimming can come later. You can do singing, dancing and swimming with her at weekends without joining a structured group. If you want to socialise with other parents and children then just ask them round for Sunday brunch instead.

I've used both a full-time nursery and a childminder for young children and I preferred the childminder because they were out and about doing everyday activities: feeding the ducks, the playground, blackberry picking, the library, local shops. The kind of things I would do if I was at home. Not because of a lack of structured classes - though she did also take them to a toddler group and a music group. I was lucky that my childminder was in some ways more like a nanny as she looked after very few children so could easily do these things. Generally you might need a nanny for that.

amazingmumof6 · 15/01/2013 11:33

agree with worra

you could take her cycling or feed the ducks when it's warmer.

or how about bowling?

also your local library might have a story hour, they are lovely and free
they can advise more as well!

GoldPlatedNineDoors · 15/01/2013 11:34

I was just about to suggest a CM. They usually do toddler groups, music groups, storytime at the LIbrary etc.

On a weekend, just do non-class fun stuff!

amazingmumof6 · 15/01/2013 11:34

and agree with irregular also, x-post!

Sirzy · 15/01/2013 11:35

What worra said. I would imagine a lot of people who work all week don't want their weekends dictated by activities which is why their may not be as much available.

A lot of the places who do offer weekend lessons tend to aim them at school age children as they can't do during the day in the week.

BabyDubsEverywhere · 15/01/2013 11:43

Her week will be quite packed with being at nursey full time anyway, why not just aim for days out and relaxing play instead?

Original poster

WishingTree · 15/01/2013 11:45

Thanks a lot everyone. Much appreciated.
I dont swim (I am terrified of water) - hence very keen for her to learn and for her sake, happy to get into a shallow pool for mum and baby sessions.
I agree that there is no need for structured activities on weekends - but I really want her to learn to swim and I am keen to take her for the lessons myself. Also, she loves music and dance and I would love to enjoy this with her - we do lots of music and dancing at home on weekends, but I listen to other moms doing ballet and music and think my DD might enjoy that more (especially doing it with other kids).
I was just keen to know what other working parents did. She will pick up all this at school later, so its a more a nice to have and I am just a bit frustrated that I cant find any near me that DD and I/DH can go to.
Thanks again everyone.

OP posts:

seeker · 15/01/2013 11:47

Why on earth do you want structured activities at the weekend when your weeks are so structured?

amazingmumof6 · 15/01/2013 11:52

wishing if you are terrified of water she will pick up on your nervousness and will feel that something is not right, if mummy doesn't feel safe and she might end up hating the water too... (this happens, ask the swimming teachers!)

so I suggest it should be not you being in the water with her, sorry! can dad do it?

you can do a million on other things with her, just not swimming - at least until she knows how to and feels safe

DontmindifIdo · 15/01/2013 11:55

YANBU - but I found most 'proper' swimming lessons (at leisure centres run by the centres, not just renting their pools to other organisations) start at 3, can you put her name down now for those? Perhaps make a concious decision that between now and then you'll take her every Saturday morning to have a splash about in the pool.

Also, have you looked at things that aren't aimed so much at girls? Rugby tots, rugbybugs and little kickers (football) is often run on Saturdays and Sundays, normally aimed at Dads taking their DCs. A lot of those start at 2.

I take DS to musical bumps on a weekday, but I know they hold classes on a Saturday near us, worth checking in your area.

Original poster

WishingTree · 15/01/2013 12:00

Thanks Dontmind. Football sounds fun. I am sure DH would love to take DD to it!
Thanks Amazingmum - you are right, maybe DH should take her swimming. I will enquire about proper lessons.

OP posts:

WillowFae · 15/01/2013 12:07

It does frustrate me that there is a lack of things at the weekend. I'm lucky in that I've found ballet lessons for DD on a Saturday morning and she has been going there for the last 2 years. However, the class she is in now is the last one on a Saturday and when she moves up it will be at 4pm during the week. I teach in a school half an hour away from where we live, and our school day doesn't finish till 3.50 so there is no way I can get her to ballet for 4 :(

amazingmumof6 · 15/01/2013 12:08

BTW you should still tag along and watch her swim with daddy, so you are involved in the experience!
who knows if you see she's safe and having fun you might get a taste and when she's older she can take YOU to swimming lessons!

3birthdaybunnies · 15/01/2013 12:14

I agree best for her not to be in water with you atm, but it won't be long, our 5 yr old's mission is to teach their godfather to swim!

Original poster

WishingTree · 15/01/2013 12:14

That would be a treat - to be taught to swim by my DD when she gets older :)

OP posts:

GhoulWithADragonTattoo · 15/01/2013 12:23

YANBU but to be honest before school age most kids don't need a formal class - just playing in park or kicking round a football is enough for most of that age. The classes that are run during the week are more so those at a bit of a loose end (ie stay at home parents or part time workers) can do something fun and get out of the house. My DS does toddler swimming and does enjoy it but is just as happy splashing about in the pool really. I enjoy getting out of the house and chatting to others parents but I wouldn't take him if I worked full time.

DontmindifIdo · 15/01/2013 12:24

Oh and worth checking with any dance schools in your area, they might not advertise in the same way the younger classes starting at 2.5/3 year olds as being 'toddler dance' or whatever, more doing just general advertising for dance classes. Some might do weekend ones.

DontmindifIdo · 15/01/2013 12:29

Ghoul, in the summer I'd agree, but with a DH who often works weekends when other families are doing 'family time things' so don't want play dates, it's nice to have something organised with other DCs/other parents on a weekend - particularly something indoors - there are so many play groups and sports halls opened up to toddlers to run around and burn off energy somewhere dry if it's tipping it down on a week day, on a weekend it's "go out in the rain to the park" or "pay for softplay hell" or "stay in" if you can't find something organised for their age group.

Plus I found our local swimming pool is booked on Saturday mornings for classes, if you can't get in a class, you're rather stuck.

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