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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

See all MNHQ comments on this thread

Original poster

To take a bigger council house than we need?

999 replies

isthisunreasonable · 15/01/2013 10:11

Have namechanged for this as it's pretty obvious who I am if you know me...

We currently have a two bedroom house (3 children) and we can fir just about but it's a squeeze. We are "entitled" (cringe) to a 3 bed house but it's likely to be 4-5 yrs by the time we would be offered one so placed our details on the Housing Association's "mutual exchange" site. We have also said we are happy to take a 2 bedroom house with separate dining room to use as the 3rd bedroom.

Have been contact by someone via our housing association's "mutual exchange" list. They have a large 4 bed house with a dining room and massive garden and they want to downsize (older couple all kids left home) and would like our house.

Given that is is bigger than we actually need . Part of me thinks it should go to a family with 5/6 kids but part of me thinks this couple are looking for a mutual exchange to downsize to a 2 bed house, what's the chance of them fining such a large family in a 2 bed house that they want.

It would be fabulous for us of course, lots of space for everyone, kids could have their own bedrooms and a nice big garden to play and we wouldn't have to move again when we have more children (planning another 1 or 2 in next 5 years perhaps).

Would we be unreasonable to accept it?

OP posts:
Velcropoodle · 16/01/2013 23:00

Go for it!

ShellyBoobs · 16/01/2013 23:24

Oh god here come the 'tax payers'

I'm off.

Oh god here come the lefties to spend the taxes.

I'm off

Wallison · 16/01/2013 23:26

Actually, old Davey is spending rather more of our taxes on welfare than previous Labour govts. I guess that's what happens when you make millions of people unemployed.

usualsuspect · 16/01/2013 23:29

As a leftie, am I exempt from paying tax?

No one told me this.

LadyBeagleEyes · 16/01/2013 23:33

I got deleted Shock
What did I say and more importantly, who reported me?
I can't remember what I put on that post but the gist of it was that there are rather a lot of posters on this thread that followed the governments advice and bought their home and are now struggling.
And for the first time those that live in council/hA property, who never had the means to buy are now on the 'it's not fair I've worked hard all my life list', and suddenly we've got something that you don't.
Anyway, things change, and us council/HA tenants will be the social pariah again, give it time.

usualsuspect · 16/01/2013 23:36

I did wonder what you had said to get deleted LBE. Grin

MN was so slow to load I missed your post. It was deleted very swiftly though Hmm

Someones finger was hovering over the report button.

MNHQ
OliviaPeacein2013Mumsnet · 16/01/2013 23:36

@LadyBeagleEyes

I got deleted Shock What did I say and more importantly, who reported me?.
Who reported makes not a jot of difference but we removed this cos you ended your post with "You can fuck off"

Do allow me to give a late night link to our guidelines
Thanks so much

expatinscotland · 16/01/2013 23:45

'There are a lot of people whether you like it or not that do not need the support but take it anyway in some sort of entitlement argument - probably caused by the government. But that then adds to your fire doesn't it I mean if David Cameron says I am entitled them I must be [hmmm] '

The way Cameron took CB and DLA he didn't really need because he was 'entitled' to it. And MPs dine on subsidised meals on their £60k/annum salary for what's almost a part-time job.

LadyBeagleEyes · 16/01/2013 23:48

Grin Olivia bet they deserved it though
I'm a very reasonable, mild mannered poster usually.
But fair enuff, a fuck off is a personal attack.
Lesson learned.

Wallison · 16/01/2013 23:52

Who was it a personal attack on, though? I thought it was more an expression of disgust/frustration.

[stashes offshore millions in council house]

LadyBeagleEyes · 17/01/2013 00:03

Whatever Grin
I love my HA house.
And do you know, if I have a problem with my boiler or my central heating my HA sends someone out the very same day?
And I don't have to pay for it.

JakeBullet · 17/01/2013 06:41

For anyone who thinks Lefties/council/HA tenants/whatever don't pay tax......I paid tax for 30years as an employee.....longer than some of you have been on this earth. I was not a HA tenant until 18 months ago and do you know what.....I still paid tax then as well. Odd that!

Gosh this thread is full of bizarre beliefs about how things work.

CuttedUpPear · 17/01/2013 08:52

I agree JakeBullet. To think that we, as HA or council tenants, should get:

Grants to pay for french windows/floorboard stripping etc
Exemption from tax
A FREE house (as a boyfriend of mine once thought)
And so on...

It just beggars belief. No wonder there is so much vitriol on here if posters genuinely believe this stuff. It's like the Daily Mail in parts of this thread.

BelieveInPink · 17/01/2013 09:27

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by Mumsnet for breaking our Talk Guidelines. Replies may also be deleted.

Original poster
isthisunreasonable · 17/01/2013 09:37

Well I expected some people might say YABU for taking a house larger than you actually need but I didn't expect people to say YABU for not handing back my secure tenancy that I was given with no such clause as to I have to hand it back if my circumstances improve.

Would I really be doing the best thing for my children if I hand back my tenancy, move into a privately rented place, probably have to work full time in order to pat extortionate private rental fees, so they'd be in childcare loads (again huge cost with 3 children), always the threat of having to uproot/move/change school etc that comes with privately letting etc. Why? So that the house can be given to another family likely to be in the same position as us (working family) or maybe given to a family who don't work and claim benefits, either way, it's the same system. Me giving up my HA tenancy wouldn't change the system would it! I know privately renting is expensive and often difficult, I know many people have to (I have in the past) but we were fortunate to be offered social housing tenancy so I am going to keep hold of it and I do very much appreciate how lucky we are to have it.

Cutteduppear... I have never been offered a decorating grant (although i have never asked) I have never had any improvements that weren't necessary - never heard of anyone requesting french doors etc (unless it was to adapt the house to help someone with a disability) and my house is definitely cheaper than average, but not free!

Pink - I am not at all ashamed to accept social housing. I am not too proud to accept something that massively helps me and my family out and allows us to live in a secure tenancy for as long as we wish. I find it very Hmm that you think it is something only people that have no pride would accept. Our neighbours now are a mix of private and HA and we have no trouble here at all, normal people not just council scum! Smile

The new house we are due to move to is in a gorgeous rural area, it's on a lane with only a few other houses and surrounded by fields, it has a lovely back garden (somewhere under the jungle I know we will find one) it's massive and has lovely period features, open fireplace etc. Probably worth £500,000 once we've done it up, redecorated, cleared gardens etc. So no, I am not in the slightest bit ashamed, embarrassed or too proud to accept it! Quite the opposite! We are VERY lucky that this has come along for us and we realise that, we are very happy and can't wait to move there...and when the time comes for us to move on (when the kids leave home) it will be a lovely family home for someone else as we will be putting years of time, effort and a fair amount of money into bringing it back up to living standard and maintaining that.

OP posts:
Original poster
isthisunreasonable · 17/01/2013 09:39

Ladybeagleeyes Love the HA stealth boast, can't believe some people on here PINK thinks pride should stop people accepting social housing when they are offered it. Not me, and not many others it seems.

OP posts:
thesnootyfox · 17/01/2013 09:42

I don't think you are being unreasonable to take the house, you are not breaking any rules and you are more in need of the house than the couple who currently live in it.

I do feel uncomfortable with the current position with housing in this country. If you accept the house you will have a reasonable rent for the rest of your life and as you said you are considering 5 children at some point. I don't know anyone who lives in a private rented property or mortgaged property who could consider such a luxury.

It seems that if you are lucky enough to get a social housing property you have choices that the rest of the population do not have.

There is such a shortage of affordable housing in this country and the system needs a radical shake up. The system should be fair and I don't think it is at the moment.

expatinscotland · 17/01/2013 09:44

Funny how the OP has come in for all the ire, but not the elderly couple who've been under-occupying this house for who-knows-how-long and may have had - GASP!- more than one child thanks to having the space for it! What shameful scumbags! And here they are again, taking a 2-bed away from a needy family with kids all the same sex when they're only entitled to a 1-bed!

ILikeBirds · 17/01/2013 09:48

I actually think that if the council own 4 bed houses worth half a million pounds they should be selling them and buying 2 or 3 houses to replace them...

Original poster
isthisunreasonable · 17/01/2013 09:55

To be fair though ILikeBirds That's not a huge amount for a 4 bed house round here, we live in quite an expensive part of the country in general. A modest 3 bed terraced house in the less desirable "town" round here will cost £350K + I appreciate in some parts of the country it will buy you much more but I suppose social housing has to be available everywhere not just the cheaper parts of the country.

OP posts:
BelieveInPink · 17/01/2013 09:55

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by Mumsnet for breaking our Talk Guidelines. Replies may also be deleted.

thesnootyfox · 17/01/2013 09:58

I grew up in a council home, a 3 bed terrace that was massive compared to the home that we own now! Times were different back then, couples would put their name down on the waiting list when they got engaged and were more or less guaranteed a place of their own and a family home when they had children. It was a home for life and that was fine as there was enough to go round.

We have a massive housing problem in this country now and fixed tenancies would help to address this problem. It isn't fair that a couple are living in a huge family house and it is isn't really fair that people can plan to have a huge family because they have won the golden ticket.

I agree with the poster who suggested that 4 bed council homes are replaced with smaller properties. I would make an exception for families who have additional needs such as a disabled child where they might need to have an additional bedroom for example.

aufaniae · 17/01/2013 10:03

Pink did you mean to be so unpleasant?

How does it benefit society if the OP is forced to work full time, when she'd rather be there for her kids?

You may be upset that you don't have those choices, and rightly so. But perhaps you should look at why those choices are being denied to you?

Seeking to deny those choices from others is not the answer!

One parent wanting to work part-time when they have kids seems like a perfectly reasonable thing to want to do IMO. That's not a "sense of entitlement" that's being a responsible parent.

If you don't have that choice, let's look at why? It is possibly because rents and mortgages are so high in this country? If so, then there's the problem. You should be demanding the government does something positive about the scandalous sums ordinary people are having to pay to simply house themselves (it's what government is there for!) not having a go at the OP.

How short-sighted!

expatinscotland · 17/01/2013 10:04

'Good luck to you, OP. And good luck to your children who will no doubt have the lack of morals, pride and sense of entitlement that you do.'

Plenty of MNers who grew up in council housing with SAHMs who have plenty of morals and pride. But of course, you're entitled to your opinion.

HappyJoyful · 17/01/2013 10:06

"The new house we are due to move to is in a gorgeous rural area, it's on a lane with only a few other houses and surrounded by fields, it has a lovely back garden (somewhere under the jungle I know we will find one) it's massive and has lovely period features, open fireplace etc. Probably worth £500,000 once we've done it up, redecorated, cleared gardens etc"

OP, I'm slightly taken back that even after all the comments you still manage to be really taking some delight in gloating and boasting about how fab this house is - when many on this thread have told you of their appalling situations.. Hugely insulting to many - and offensive.

And as BelieveInPink says, god forbid - what, you'd have to work full time ???? what you mean like tonnes of women on here have to do and yes they also have to pay childcare..