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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To take a bigger council house than we need?

999 replies

isthisunreasonable · 15/01/2013 10:11

Have namechanged for this as it's pretty obvious who I am if you know me...

We currently have a two bedroom house (3 children) and we can fir just about but it's a squeeze. We are "entitled" (cringe) to a 3 bed house but it's likely to be 4-5 yrs by the time we would be offered one so placed our details on the Housing Association's "mutual exchange" site. We have also said we are happy to take a 2 bedroom house with separate dining room to use as the 3rd bedroom.

Have been contact by someone via our housing association's "mutual exchange" list. They have a large 4 bed house with a dining room and massive garden and they want to downsize (older couple all kids left home) and would like our house.

Given that is is bigger than we actually need . Part of me thinks it should go to a family with 5/6 kids but part of me thinks this couple are looking for a mutual exchange to downsize to a 2 bed house, what's the chance of them fining such a large family in a 2 bed house that they want.

It would be fabulous for us of course, lots of space for everyone, kids could have their own bedrooms and a nice big garden to play and we wouldn't have to move again when we have more children (planning another 1 or 2 in next 5 years perhaps).

Would we be unreasonable to accept it?

OP posts:
Anifrangapani · 15/01/2013 22:00

Local housing allowance

nailak · 15/01/2013 22:16

the max amount of housing benefit, based on lowest 25% of rents

ShellyBoobs · 15/01/2013 22:22

OP, YABU.

PureQuintessence · 15/01/2013 22:35

It is amazing how it is not possible to criticize a system that is blatantly unfair, without being met with cries of "Oh you are bitter and envious".

How am I bitter or envious by pointing out that more people can be helped to get roof over their heads, a home when in need, if people who no longer needed social housing because they both work and manage well financially moved on?

This situation does not affect me personally at all. I am not without a home, but there are people on waiting lists, sitting in refuges and in B&Bs while people like the OP cling on through a sense of entitlement.

"Bring on a 4 bed, so we can have 2 more kids, eh?" When Amanda is hypothetically sitting in a refuge with her 3 kids pining for a home.

It is not like the OP needs a 4 bed. But a 4 bed will allow her to have two more children, that normal people who have to either pay market rent or extortionate mortgages can only dream about, and while people who needs a home are waiting to get one.

I am neither bitter nor envious but I despair at a system that let people stay on in social housing infinitely instead of encouraging them to own homes, get equity they can pass on to their children. I also despair at peoples entitlement to more and more kids, that they only can afford because they are within the social housing system. And this, to the detriment of other people actually needing help and homes.

DizzyZebra · 15/01/2013 22:37

What a crazy country where we have an apartheid system

Are you normal? My friend actually lived under arpartheid in SA... She watched her 5 year old brother get MOWN DOWN by an armoured truck for bring white.

The same friend was taught to fire a gun aged 7 - To shoot herself with if she were caught because it was better than the vile disgusting things they would have done?

Are you SERIOUSLY comparing our benefits system to that? SERIOUSLY? You are seriously comparing your annoyance at someone paying less rent to the immense suffering and horrific crimes of a corrupt, vicious and murderous time? Grip. GET ONE.

ethelb · 15/01/2013 22:41

@dizzy it actually means apartness. i don' think that poster was talking abuot south africa.

This thread is not about your friend.

comingintomyown · 15/01/2013 22:42

I agree Pure but as you say it is the system which is at fault and its too tall an order to expect people like the OP to bow out of it to her own detriment .

OP of course you are going to take the bigger house I dont know why you started this thread

Original poster
isthisunreasonable · 15/01/2013 22:45

BelieveInPink Envy? Oh dear me no. Bless

Yes Believeinpink, LUCKY to be one of many many people who would like social housing as most people (just have a look through this thread for lots of examples of people who would love social housing and for who it would greatly improve their quality of life)

I'm unsure as to what you are saying actually. Are you trying to say that you would never live in social housing because it is in some way beneath you? Or do you think the houses are not good enough to be grateful for and feel lucky to have as a home?

OP posts:
creighton · 15/01/2013 22:46

This reply has been deleted

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Cerealqueen · 15/01/2013 22:46

OP - you are very fortunate to have social housing when you can afford to move into private rented accommodation.

You no longer have a need for social housing and whilst I am sorry for any difficulties you had in the past, but that does not make you deserving forever or does it? Confused.

Lucky you having tiny rent, lucky you being able to afford another child because of your tiny rent, lucky you upgrading to a bigger house so you can have room for another child, a position many of us would love to be in.

The system is shit, and you continue to live in it, and take what you need from it, but frankly, is there anybody here who would not do as you are doing? probably not.

YABU, but so is the system for social housing.

Cerealqueen · 15/01/2013 22:47

We think alike Pure.

gordyslovesheep · 15/01/2013 22:50

YA so NBU - take the house - enjoy the space - ignore the cats bum faces

CheerfulYank · 15/01/2013 22:51

I don't really "get" council housing as we don't have it here as such, but it sounds like a good deal for you OP. Go for it! :)

creighton · 15/01/2013 22:51

we need more social housing. it is not a question of pushing people out of social housing especially in the economic/housing climate that exists at the moment.

i object to the barefaced greed and pulling a fast one and being 'entitled' because the rules don't spell out clearly that some people should get more help than others.

there are many people on this thread who would object to others getting more than they need, but with regard to social housing, it's okay and it's okay to boast about it.

creighton · 15/01/2013 22:54

if we are all going to take what we are 'entitled' to let's leave child benefit as it is and let the people on £200k a year with their entitlement, let's leave the bankers to pay less tax than their cleaners because they are 'entitled' to get away with not paying their share.

let's all take what we like.

PureQuintessence · 15/01/2013 22:55

"its too tall an order to expect people like the OP to bow out of it to her own detriment "

to her own detriment Really? Now that is a point that could be argued.

The op (or hypothetically any in her position) could decide that she and her dh are financially secure, they are both working, they can afford to get on the property ladder and improve their own living standards this way. As they can afford both a rent increase and have two more children, they can start saving for a deposit. They can improve their own home and stay in it as long as they like, and eventually have assets to pass down to their 3 (maybe more?) children. I dont see how this is detrimental?

Or they can decide to stay in social housing, produce two more children so they become a family of 7, with the insecurities this entail, to work hard and spend a fortune to improve a house that they in future may be asked to downsize from when their kids have left home. Instead of staying in their family home for ever, and leave it as an asset to their kids.

I know what I personally think is more detrimental, but then, I am not the OP, and she takes a different long term view.

Original poster
isthisunreasonable · 15/01/2013 22:55

Yes cereal, I agree we are fortunate and in the minority.

Thing is, if we don't accept this 4 bed house then it is very likely to just continue to be the home to the elderly couple, who can't maintain or manage it and who hardly ever even go upstairs due to mobility problems and this could be the case for years and years. They are exempt from being forced to pay extra rent under the new bedroom tax so are only moving as our home is "ideal" for them. The system is a bit shit and could be done much better but surely our family of 5 have more use for the 4 bed then an elderly couple, not to mention they really want our house for it's location and adaptations.

Believeinpink Your post has really grated me. Why does me feeling lucky to have something make me entitled. Why do you think you have more pride than to have affordable housing given to you?

OP posts:
propertyNIGHTmareBEFOREXMAS · 15/01/2013 22:57

Take the swop. If you are having more children soon anyway then it is a moot point.

usualsuspect · 15/01/2013 22:59

OP take the house,boast about your council house loud and proud and give all the jealous posters something to bitch and moan about.Good luck to you I hope you have a wonderful life in your new house.

Cerealqueen · 15/01/2013 23:01

But Pure if you own your on home, its an asset that can be used to pay for care as you get older. No own home, no fees, and the council pays. It's a flawed system that just keeps on giving!

BaresarkBunny · 15/01/2013 23:05

Pure - but some people will never be in the position to own their own homes either through low income or a less than perfect credit rating.

Passing on equity to your children is a lovely thing to want but is not always realistic either, especially if you need to go into a care home. (which fills me with horror but that's for a different thread)

PureQuintessence · 15/01/2013 23:07

Cerealqueen, true, I forgot about that.

In Norway, if you need a care home, the council take 75% of your pension as payment for care, regardless of how high your pension is, this includes any private pension plan. In my mums case, this means she pays £1000 per month for her care, and keep £500 for adhoc expenses, such as hair dresser, clothes, foot therapist, etc. She is on a minimum state-pension and receives £1,500 pcm.

This is fair, as it means that everybody can afford care, as you pay a percentage of your income.

FrameyMcFrame · 15/01/2013 23:09

ANYONE can go on the list for council/housing association houses.

Some people are not only snobby but ignorant too

BaresarkBunny · 15/01/2013 23:16

Pure that does sound fair. Do the pensioners get to keep their assets? I think this is how it works for Chelsea Pensioners as well.

lisad123everybodydancenow · 15/01/2013 23:17

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