to wonder if my brother favouring my DD1 over DD2?

[SpringTimeRain]

I have two daughters, both very different. My eldest stayed at home to go to uni and got married quite young and has a child of her own now and moved out at 22.

My youngest moved away from home for uni, traveled America by herself after uni. She currently lives at home and works full time (pays board whilst saving for her own place) is very social person and has been dating a guy for the last 3 months.

For the last five years me, my brother and his family and also our mother go to France to for a week. Also the same week in August.

My DD1 rang me before Christmas to say that my brother has asked her and her family to go with us to France this year. My brother has not asked DD2.

Aibu to think you can't just ask one sibling and not the other?

Tricky. I imagine he probably does prefer one DD over the other. My sister has eight children, I would see 7 of them daily, one leaves me cold. I wouldn't necessarily not invite that individual, but would put them off.
I'm not sure what you can realistically do though.

Maybe he will ask DD2 another time? I would say though he can definitely invite one without the other at their age,they're not children any more and seem perfectly capable of living their own lives.

It certainly wouldn't cross my mind to think I would need to be invited to everything the same as my siblings even at a much younger age!

If he is asking DD1 and her partner and child aka their family unit, then no.

They are grown ups now not children. He may well extend the same invitation to DD2 at a later date.

if he is asking her, husband and child then that is totally normal. Are you sure this isn't a product of you being their mum that you think of your daughters as a unit, whereas in reality the unit is now daughter 1, husband and child.

Anyway he isn't her dad and is under no obligation to treat them equally, especially as they are now adults.

Couple of things; Is it your brother's role to be the 'inviter'? Because one DD lives with you isn't it assumed that she is going because you are and the other DD needs inviting because she is a separate household? Perhaps your brother thinks that the holiday would be boring for a young, child-free niece who might prefer being with her BF? Are there any space constraints to how many could come?

I can think of reasons why I might ask one of my nieces on holiday and not the others, not at all because of favouritism. It might be that he prefers one over the other but I wouldn't necessarily read that into his invite. Does the other DD mind or even want to come?

This

If they were children, then it may be favouritism, but as they are all adults then no, it isnt.

As above- it's a holiday shared and presumably paid for by all of you, why is it up to your brother to invite people, and if it's a case of open invites to others being fine, surely that should be in consultation with the other paying guests beforehand? Even if your brother were paying for the holiday, I find it quite odd that he wouldn't have mentioned that he'd like to invite X to both you and your mum beforehand. I'd go further and say it would be more natural for your bro to have said to you - 'Do you want to ask DD1 and family if they'd like to come?'

In answer to your actual question (!) - are you sure he's not assuming that your household, including DD2, are already coming?

But as you're asking the q in the first place I assume there's more to it and also that its quite likely that your bro sees himself as King of the Castle Holiday.

I don't think all things like this have to be either exactly equal or favouritism.

If he invited her every year, and refused to have dd2, or was frequently buying dd1 expensive unnecessary stuff then yes, you can claim favouritism.

Dm goes on holiday with dsis and family quite a bit. It's not favouritism, just that circumstances mean that it makes sense for them to go away together more than dm coming with us. I guess dm would come if we asked, but it would be a lot more tricky to arrange.