to be annoyed that After School Club has 'lost' dd2 twice now...

[silverfrog]

dd2 stays on at her schol each day for After School Cub as I have to pick up dd1 first.

the after school club is a range of activities, all run by the school, or 'just' Late Room (general free for all playing).

dd2 did Activity A last term, but this term does Activity B (being non-specific on purpose).

Today, Activity B was not running as the staff member could not make it. Parents were notified at the end of last week, and asked if Late Room/extended day was needed. I signed dd2 up for Late Room, as I cannot get to her school before 4pm whatever happens.

I duly arrive, to find no dd2 in Late Room. Puzzlement all round, until it transpires that she is off doing Activity A. Where she shouldn't be (clubs are signed up for on a termly basis, not ad hoc, and she is not doing that club this term).

In fact, last term she was not signed up for Activity A to begin with, but due to a similar mix up ended up attending, liking it and carrying on (after negotiating with me to give up a different activity instead).

On quizzing dd2, she apparently was told Activity B was not running (true), and she then asked if she could go to Activity A instead. Her class teacher said yes, allegedly (will be talking to her tomorrow morning to get to the bottom of this)

So, AIBU to be cross that d2 was in entirely the wrong place, for the second time? She is 5, in Yr1, if that makes any difference. She does know what/where she should be going on a daily basis (and knew today that I would be collecting her from Late Room), but surely the school has lists (which they do) for a reason?

The teacher in charge of Late Room was annoyed that the person in charge of activity A had not sent her back (since she is not on their list for this term) - this teacher has form for 'rounding up' children to enroll.

BUT surely, since dd2 was on the list for Late Room, the teacher there should have been trying to find her anyway? The school office clearly had her down for Late Room (have email confirmation of this).

WWYD? THe school are generally very good at marshalling children around, have lists everywhere, and usually do proper handovers/sign offs. BUt this is the second time this has happened to dd2.

once bad, twice worse!
she could have been gone, stuck in the loo etc - late room person should have looked for her after say 5 mins of her not being in the room!

this serious, it's beyond you being annoyed, this is a proper safety issue! what if there was a fire and she'd left room A? who would have been responsible looking for her?

this sounds extremely badly organised, I'd speak to headteacher tomorrow and ask for immediate changes to be made.

very worrying!

yes, it potentially was very serious.

I do like to think (given what I have seen about how the children are generally moved around school/handed over between clubs) that if she had not been anywhere (iyswim), then alarm bells would have rung (as in, she would not have been able to leave her classroom without going somewhere 'official')

but how she managed to go to the worng 'official' place is the bit that worries me.

bottom line, she was safe (and teacher from Activity A was fine to have her as a guest for the week), but that isn't the point, really, is it?

I do need to talk to dd2's class teacher tomorrow (new to the school last term, but surely anyone knows that you don't just say 'yes' randonmly to a small child asking if they can go to A instead of B?!) to see whether dd2's report is accurate.

I don't get how a 5 year old can end up in the wrong place (albeit entirely willingly on dd2's part - Activity A being more exciting than Late Room to her) - since when did she get to decide where she was going?

The member of staff in the Late room should definitely have established her whereabouts. She could have been anywhere. Don't think it really matters that she was at an activity she shouldn't have been at (as long as that was alright with that staff member) They just needed to know where she was for safety reasons. They need to modify their systems.
I have seen teachers doing head counts just when going from classroom to assembly, to check on hiding missing children.

but that's just it, bigbluebus - that is exactly what I have seen. I usually arrive at dd2's school before she finishes whichever club she is in that day, so hang around a bit with dd1 and ds.

And everytime there is movement at all, the children are lined up, counted, ticked off the list, handed over to the new teacher/staff member who then counts again, ticks off their list, checks what has happened to any missing children (eg collected early, ill, etc) and then off they go.

dd2 is a child who will happily take part in any activity (and will do any activity going), but she is 5 - how did she manage to wangle her way into a different club unnoticed? ( well, teacher from Activity A noticed, but was ok to have her, although a bit bemused). dd2 is hardly an escapologist, and does tend to follow rules (although will chance her arm occasionally, but in an official way, hence her story of asking if she could go to Activity A instead of LAte Room being plausible)

whatever the reason she ended up there she's not to blame BTW!
If the headteacher/class teacher starts implying it's her fault I'd come down on them like a ton of bricks (nicely)!
she is 5 and even if she's escaped it's their job to stop her or retrieve her. just saying, in case they attempt to lecture her ( cue head shaking, weird tone of voice)

glad she was ok though!

yes, agree, amazingmum.

I did have a talk with her about her going where I had said she should, and that since she didn't do that, I was worried as I couldn't find her. She does know where she shoudl have been, and does have a lsight tendency to think she knows best, and so I can see how she potentially ended up there.

BUT - I still come back to, surely that is why they ahve lists? She can't be the only 5 year old saying 'oh yes, I want to do that' each week? And even if she is a bit cheeky, as you say - it is their job to know where she is, when she is in their care.

So, any ideas how to approach class teacher tomorrow and say 'my small child says you let her go to the wrong club yesterday'? Don't really want to annoy the teacher (and dd2 has been known to fib her way out of situations she knows she shouldn't be in - again, not the point, though, is it?) but she did, at some point, let dd2 leave her classroom to go to the wrong place...

and should I email the school now, stating my displeasure, or wait until after I've spoken to class teacher (who, according to dd2 gave the go-ahead) tomorrow?

god, I am hopeless at this complaining lark!

could you not just say dd2 was in the wrong place, obviously very worrying, and you are trying to find out what happened, rather than 'why on earth did you let her do that you daft cow' (which is conceivably what I would end up saying)?

I don't think it matters if the teacher did say yes to activity A.
The fact is, she was on the list for the late room.
Therefore it's the late rooms teacher who should take responsibility for making sure all the correct children are there.

Ds2 (9) goes to ASC 3 times a week. Before Xmas, DH finished work early so I phoned the school to tell them DS would not be at ASC that day.
At 3:20 the ASC supervisor phoned me to double check he wasn't supposed to be there, she had got the message but wanted to make sure that it was correct, in case there was a problem.

desertgirl - that's exactly what I'm trying to end up not saying! I can't get my head around dd2's version of events at all.

yet the alternative (that she just 'ended up there' ) is worse, surely?

all very baffling.

you'd think they'd be on their guard, what with the exact same thing happening last term (dd2 was not on the list for Activity A, yet 'ended up there' the first week).

and all of this is totally the opposite of everything I have seen when hanging around/collecting dd2 from various clubs.

well yes, the alternative isn't great, but it gives her the chance to say 'oh, sorry, I told her it was ok because [feeble excuse]' and feel guilty about it rather than on the defensive from the start.

it is very strange; hope they manage to reassure you that they will be keeping her safe, you don't want to be worrying for the rest of the year.

oh, I do know she will be safe in general. dd2 isn't the type to be where she shoudln't be (I know how bizarre that sounds, in the context of this thread ) - she wouldn't just randomly wander off, or be left behind anywhere, or get up to mischief in the loos/changing rooms/etc is what I mean.

I do wonder what the feeble excuse will be though.

Late Room teacher was apologetic, and cross that it had happened (again), and terribly embarrassed etc.

can see this ending up being a running joke - that dd2 will always be off at Activity A if not found where she should be, but again - shouldn't really be happening, should it? (not least because presumably at some point we will end up being double-billed!)

If no one in the late room knew where she was Id be furious.
If the late room teacher knew she has gone to the activity ie witnessed her going, even though she wasn't supposed to I wouldn't be too bothered.

late room teacher hadn't witnessed her going. but also didn't realise she should have been in late room (this week only, as dd2's normal club was cancelled this week; given this, late room teacher should have been double checking the lists, surely, as it was known that there would be a few extra children there).

so, I turn up, late room teacher is puzzled to see me (I wouldn't normally be there, and dd2 is only in late room on a Friday this term). I prompt her that usual club is cancelled, and dd2 should be there, and she says - oh yes. looks at ehr list, which has dd2 down to be there. then one of the assistants from Club A wanders in and says dd2 is over there. so pure chance that there wasn't more of a hunt for her.

This is not good at all. Effectively the school didn't know where your DD should be or where she was. Had all the teachers signed off on her being in Activity A rather than the Late Room that would have been OK for me, but the teachers responsible for her didn't seem to know that she should be in the Late Room and never missed her from there which means that if something had happened to her no one would be looking.

Was she on school premises, just in a different room? Presumably she was on the list of arrivals for Activity A?

yes, all school premises.

not on the list for Activity A this term - she was last term (but only after she 'ended up there' the first week . she is doing Activity B this term, which was cancelled this week (with prior notification. I had confirmation this morning from the school office that dd2 was on the list for late room instead)

so really, it all boils down to: who is most in the wrong?

class teacher for letting her go when she asked to (dd2's version of events)

teacher of Activity A for not taking her back to late room when she turned up?

late room teacher for not realising dd2 should have been with her?

Aren't all these activities in the school? So what she's in a different room.She isn't lost! Stop being so precious.

I don't think it's precious to expect the people looking after my 5 year old to know where she is.

it is not reasonable for anyone to rely on the sensible-ness of a 5 year old.

that is why they have lists and systems in place to count them.

and twice they have failed (for dd2, who is not a particularly difficult child).

would you be happy to turn up to collect your 5 year old to be met with 'oh, why are you here? XXXX isn't in this room today', with no knowledge of where she actually is?

oh, and not just different room, but different building, on the other side of the site.

and the answer is : D, they are all wrong

snowybrr - are you kidding?
what teacher doesn't know who is supposed to be in their care?
and thankfully she wasn't lost as such, but she easily couldn't have been as late room teacher never even noticed that 1 child was missing from her room! that is just unacceptable!
I think that's the worst, at least the other 2 knew where she was.

I'd say my children are precious to me and would have gone apeshit, especially that it was the 2nd time!

She should have been on a list for being in Late Room, and that list should have been double-checked. Clearly it wasn't. Late Room teacher probably at fault for this.

Erm... I don't understand really. She was safe, looked after and doing an activity she enjoyed. Presumably the lateroom teacher wasn't expecting her because the teacher agreed for her to do the activity. (I'd imagine the 'list' comes at handover because of absence etc)

I do think you're being precious- you asked the school to provide care, which they did. Why do you care what activity your child chooses to do when she's not in your care?

I think OP has clearly stated that the Late Room teacher was not aware of the missing child because she had not checked her list and did not know where she was when alerted to the fact that she was missing a child. That is a serious problem with the school's policies.

the list doesn't come at handover - they are pre-printed, on a daily basis, and collected from the school office. each teacher has their own list.

and, abbie, you would really be ok with your child dictating what activities thye do after school? eg Late room is free for the first hour at dd2's school, whereas the activity she ended up at today is £120 per term (a factor in why she no longer does said activity. not the only reason, but certainly one of them). so yes, I care what she chooses to do, as it will all end up billed to us!

I will see what dd2's teacher says tomorrow morning, and then decide what I do based on that.