Is it Unreasonable to bite your kids back?

[AnneNonimous]

When they bite you? Or more to the point a baby?

DS is almost ten months and has discovered biting people. He has almost 5 teeth so it's painful, and he favours the boobs or face but will pretty much go for anywhere. It REALLY does hurt. A couple of times it's hurt so much I've screamed out and scared him so he's cried, but it hasn't stopped him. I've also given him teething rings or something else to chew on, told him 'no' in a firm voice everytime but to no avail - he won't stop.

Anyone I mention it to tell me to bite him back - not hard but so he understands what biting is. I can't quite bring myself to do it but I have to admit I've been close when he's really hurt me! Is it what you would do/ have done? I can't quite believe a 10 month old could learn a lesson that way I just don't know?

[ToyCarsHurtMyFeet]

Definitely not for a 10 month old baby, it would be inappropriate.

[NolittleBuddahsorTigerMomshere]

I disagree Fox, I have explained myself over and over again. I'm getting sick of it and people need to know. I gave advice, explained myself when OP accused me of rudeness, yet still she and others have attacked me repeatedly. Is my advice any less valid because I don't follow the herd? Discussion is the point of AIBU, or so I thought. I am sick of being made out to be an ogre.

[AnneNonimous]

Oh goodness.

Sorry Buddahs but I'm pissing myself at the irony

'Grow up OP!'

'I'm sick of the bitchiness on here!'

'How dare someone tell me to behave I'm not a child!'

[mummyonvalium]

I remember DS1 going through this phase in a really major way, and loads of people suggested this strategy.

Oh dear it was not good. I remember he bit me so hard and I got so angry and I shouted at him "do you want me to bite you now?", he was screaming his head off as I pulled his sock off. As I went to do it I pulled back and asked myself at what stage it becomes abusive to him. I didn't do it and just put him down on the floor and left him for us both to calm down. He calmed down and did not do it again.

When DS2 came along I used that same strategy. Completely disengage and no more playing until he stopped. As a result his biting phase lasted about a week.

[PickledInAPearTree]

Budda.

Op said she didn't feel comfortable biting him too aggressive in subsequent post.

Then you steam in with grow up.

You started it!

It's quite common advice to be given. She didn't say she was going to follow it.

[polkadotsrock]

I am utterly at the end of my tether with ds biting me, and will admit to seriously considering this option. He is 14 months and only bites me (so far) always bloody me, at least twice a day. I just don't get it and no amount of 'no', putting him down, actual crying in pain etc seems to help. Sending me batty tbh - just so you know you're not alone OP

[AnneNonimous]

And fwiw, everyone else gave the same opinion as you just not in a rude way. I didn't think you were rude because you thought biting a child isn't on, I thought you were rude because you told me to 'grow up' which is rude however you want to look at it.

[Arthurfowlersallotment]

Fucking hell, you have to ask?

No biting!

[Greensleeves]

You are having a temper tantrum because you were pulled up on a rude and nasty comment you made. If you had any sense, you would apologise properly and wind your neck in.

OP did nothing wrong, she posted for reassurance that she was doing the right thing - which she was! And the only person who felt the need to be rude to her was you. And it does matter. Parents need to be able to come on and ask for advice without being abused by people like you.

Grow up? Projection, much

[ClippedPhoenix]

Some people can dish it out but can't take it back huh

Telling someone to grow up is rather rude really isn't it.

[goldiehorn]

Nolittlebuddhas crikey wind your neck in would you! Can you really not see the hypocrisy of what you are writing?

OP I think that you know that it is unreasonable to bite a child to teach them a lesson, especially a 10 month who wouldnt have a clue why you were doing it. Case closed!

[goldiehorn]

x posts with Greensleeves re: winding your neck in!

[PickledInAPearTree]

You just have to act consistently. No and move him away.

It shitty having a biter but it will pass!

[Hulababy]

Telling someone to "grow up" only has one message really doesn't it - and yes, it's rude and not very helpful at all.

But anyway - OP had already said in the first post that she didn't feel biting back was the right thing to do. And yes - older generations did seem to thing biting back was the answer; luckily parents nowadays seem to realise there are far more effective ways of going about it.

[PickledInAPearTree]

Hula I was AMAZED at the people telling me to do it.

Old young, lovely neighbours, teachers, a social worker.

[Greensleeves]

I saw a teacher do it when I was at primary school. When all the children were lined up after playtime, she calmly called this boy out to the front and sank her teeth into his arm!

thank goodness things change! Imagine if that happened now

[OwlCatMouse]

I thought the holidays were over?

[ClippedPhoenix]

A little nip back and stating that biting hurts is a very logical thing to do.

No-one's talking about taking chunks out of anyone here well at least im not anyway

[BlissfullyIgnorant]

I did it. Can't remember what age my DC was but I cried when I fessed up to HV. She patted my hand kindly and told me that it's often the only way. Sadly, it worked.

[snowybrrr]

Biting or 'nipping' a child is abusive.End of story.

[perceptionreality]

Oh yes, I totally agree about redirection CatchTheFox.

[perceptionreality]

HVs are telling people to do it?

[Greensleeves]

There are some really shit HVs out there though

It certainly isn't mainstream or recommended by anyone who knows what they are talking about

I can't think of anything more cowardly and pathetic than biting a baby.