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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

to have snapped at my friend?

2 replies

floppybunnyears · 13/01/2013 22:43

My friend Rebecca has been with the same for three years now. He doesn't ever really come out with us even though partners are always welcome, so I don't really know him and when I've met him he's always been nice and chatty etc.

She does nothing but constantly moan about him ... he's done this, said that. He has a close female friend and because he's texting her he's therefore cheating on her etc. For what it's worth I really don't think he has ever cheated on her.

I've tried to be a constant good friend, but there's only so many times you can say to someone if you're really that unhappy you should end it. (Even she has admitted that she's scared of being single)

I have listened to her for hours about their problems and so has another close friend Grace . I went out with her today and she told me that they are moving in together and that she rang Grace last night and told her that they were moving in together and that Grace had been really blunt and told her that she didn't think it was a good idea. And she thinks Grace should be happy for her.

I then just snapped that actually Grace was being a good friend, but if all you do is only tell the bad side of someone (i.e her boyfriend) and never the good things they do then that person you're telling is obviously going to have a bad opinion of them.

She then went really quiet as I'd probably upset her.

Aibu to have snapped? I do feel bad but sometimes sugarcoating things doesn't ever get through to people.

OP posts:
WorraLiberty · 13/01/2013 22:47

YANBU for what you said but YABU to have snapped really.

twoyearsandcounting · 13/01/2013 22:50

I have had it from your friend's point of view and it's really hurtful. When I was going through a really dreadful time with my ex-husband I admit I used to go on about it alot to my friends. I was talking about it to a friend of mine and she said "DP says that if you keep going on about this I should just stop listening". It was said in a very blunt way and I was very hurt.

Yes, I think you were unreasonable. You should have just kept quiet and let her get on with it. You could have removed yourself from the situation if necessary.

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