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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To think my DS should listen to me??

18 replies

bedmonster · 13/01/2013 22:31

Okay, it's lighthearted as he is only 14m, but seriously.
Yesterday we had putting dummy in the toilet and in his mouth. Was too late by the time I got to him so I think it had had a couple of dunks.
He pulled a (full and unopened) bottle of wine down from the side at my Mums and it smashed all over the newly tiled floor (white grout) and got the cream carpet at the edge of the living room.
He climbed over his cot bars at nap time and had a big angry mark on his leg.
More climbing, on the sofa this time, where he has learnt to jump. Off the sofa and on to his toy cars which obviously hurt him.
He is lovely and so cute and funny and has a wicked laugh which makes us all laugh with him.
But he's suuuuuuch hard work and unlike my DDs I find him exhausting to the point of falling down!
(Just to reiterate, I do love him, am very glad he's around, in no way wish him away etc etc etc)
When oh when will he start responding to me? AIBU to think he should be able to understand the word 'no' by now?

OP posts:

McNewPants2013 · 13/01/2013 22:32

Time for a toddler bed, much safer.

SPsFanjoIsAsComfyAsAOnesie · 13/01/2013 22:34

Velcro walls and dress him in a velcro suit. No more problems

BluelightsAndSirens · 13/01/2013 22:34

Around about 20 although it does get better between 2 and 2.4 and then worse until 5 and then it's better until 8 and then by 10 you would willingly give them away in the school raffle and then it gets better but worse until they leave home.

Hth x helps.

BertieBotts · 13/01/2013 22:35

They don't magically understand the word no, you have to show them... every time you say it make sure you're simultaneously doing some kind of backing up action like moving him away or removing the thing you don't want him to have.

mrlazysfishwife · 13/01/2013 22:41

I feel your pain! I spend a huge amount of time shouting "nooooooooooooo!" at DS2 (14m) whilst trying to prise him off the DVD player / lifting him out of the toilet / un-jamming him from underneath the stair gate. I'm knackered! But he also adorably cute so I'm not sending him back

steppemum · 13/01/2013 22:41

no, he will not understand 'no'
no harm in beginning to teach it, but he is too young to get it

sorry but all this is normal (and exhausting)

once my dd2 could climb out of her cot we put her in a bed because it was safer. ds and dd1 never climbed out.

Original poster

bedmonster · 13/01/2013 22:44

Really Mc do you think it's the right age? I think he'll just get out of it all the time.
The DDs were just such placid calm children. For the most part.
DS is very boisterous and bullish by comparison, I suppose it's just been a big shock.
Bertie of course I do this, that's the part that's knackering - the reinforcing!! I don't believe in saying no and not backing it up. Picking him up and disctracting him from jumping off the sofa every time, obviously told him a vrey very firm 'NO' when he smashed the bottle of wine, moving him from the bathroom when he wants to play with the toilet, removing phone chargers from his mouth when they're plugged in, pulling him out of the cupboard under the stairs where he finds shoes to eat.
Although I praise him equally often.
I'm just having a bit of a moan as it's been one hell of a week chez Bed, and the son is testing me more than usual!

OP posts:

TheGreatGatsby · 13/01/2013 22:47

All I got from that was your mum has white grout on the floor. That's just wrong.

Lindsay321 · 13/01/2013 22:48

I've got an "un-punishable" 14 month old too (by that I don't mean I punish him but "No!" and moving him away is just a game for him).

I've been in tears after hours of trying to stop him going for wires, the drying, my nose...everything really.

No suggestions for what you can do but you do have my sympathy.

Actually DS does have a little stuffed animal which he hates. I use that as a deterrent by strategically placing it around the house near to what ever he fancies pulling at that day.

steppemum · 13/01/2013 22:53

I do feel for you bedmonster
ds and dd1 were pretty normal handfulls, but dd2 was a real monkey

We had to put new handle on bathroom door so we could shut it and she couldn't open it as she liked to flush things

we had to put stairgate across kitchen as she made a constant beeline for the cooker and reached up and turned on the gas knobs

we had to put a stairgate across her bedroom as she climbed out of cot early and we took side off cot (made it into bed) to be safer

we had to put all pens and pencils up out of reach to prevent her decorating house
ditto scissors (admittedly older than 14 months obviously) as she cut everything in sight

I had to put books out of her reach as she chewed on or ripped books which had survived two siblings.

She is still a bit like it (aged 5) but now it is mostly good curiosity and she has learnt some boundaries so when she knows she is not allowed something she does it hidden behind sofa

but she is actually charming and gorgeous and has everyone twisted round her little finger with her cheeky grin

Original poster

bedmonster · 13/01/2013 22:53

TGG yeah, she was asking for trouble really! But it's not a cooking kitchen, it's a for show kitchen Which made it all the worse that DS got wine all over it. TBH, it's actually a lightish grey really, not as harsh as white, but still, it's all stained now. (I will add she was totally fine with it all, wasn't cross with DS, but I still feel terrible, especially about the cream carpet which they'd had cleaned last week)
And Lindsay, laughing at your toy deterrent, does it have any effect?

OP posts:

Original poster

bedmonster · 13/01/2013 22:57

steppemum I know this sounds bad but i'm so glad you aswell as others are sympathetic and know where i'm coming from!
It's hard to remain 100% positive and enthusiastic all the time. I try my best but I still struggle at times. It's very draining.

so when she knows she is not allowed something she does it hidden behind sofa

^But I did like this - clever girl!

OP posts:

Lindsay321 · 13/01/2013 23:02

bedmonster

Yes it's quite good at times but I sometimes have to deal with the meltdown afterwards.

DS will wander over to to the wires, clock the hedgehog, either back away or scream like it's Pennywise the clown or something. It hasn't yielded any long term changes yet but it's handy...mean, but handy

steppemum · 13/01/2013 23:04

lindsay - rol at your hedgehog. Brilliant. wish I had something like that!

spongebobsquareeyes · 14/01/2013 06:38

This sounds like DD2, I had her in a toddler bed at this age after she started climbing out her cot. She was crawling at 4 months and running walking at 9 months! She's 3 now, 4 in July, and it's only now she's starting to take a telling.

It's exhausting! Constantly in at things and climbing, she's knocked herself unconscious after climbing up the back of the couch and falling off, running away from me down the street and in shops, she screams like a banshee, it's never ending. Even the nursery have noticed the difference between her and DD1. Oh, and our brand new house that we moved into last year is covered in pen, crayon and pencil all over the walls. I refuse to decorate until she gets out of this phase.

So stubborn as well, if she doesn't want to do something she will not move! I sometimes still have to put her in a buggy to get anywhere quick, with two extra sets of reins on it. Of course she screams the whole time.

Like I say though, she is starting to take a telling now and is starting to hold my hand walking down the road, draws on paper, keeps climbing to when we are out and doesn't go hysterical when I tell her no. It's taken years of reinforcement but starting to see results now. Keep at it OP, there will be a day when it gets through :)

Doingakatereddy · 14/01/2013 07:45

My DS (2.10) is a walking risk assessment, put him anywhere & he'll make a beeline for the most dangerous thing.

We have nothing in toddler reach that can break, have lock on outside of toilet door, have process for knives, can only have certain chairs out (otherwise darling S makes 'ladders').

It's exhausting & although im sitting looking at his adorable chubby face this minute, i do wish he'd chill a little. However, I don't think we've seen anything yet

Twattybollocks · 14/01/2013 09:13

It gets even more frustrating once they can understand you perfectly and still don't listen! Eg ds1, 8yo, "don't lean back on your chair on 2 legs, you will fall backwards and bang your head" repeat countless times, thud, scream, tears, "how many bloody times do I have to tell you"
Dd and ds playing and being silly Closing doors on each other "pack it in with the doors or someone will get their fingers trapped" 3 seconds later, bang, scream, trip to a&e with dds flattened bruised finger.
Seriously I sound like a record on repeat.

Original poster

bedmonster · 14/01/2013 18:12

Oh god, I have a bit of an issue with blood . Makes me feel a bit funny and floopy if I see someone bleeding. He has leapt over his cot bar again today, I am so fearful of him having a real accident and seriously hurting himself.

OP posts:

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