to think that a 26 yr old making suggestive remarks about a 13 yr old...

[Alliwantisaroomsomewhere]

to the 13 yr old girl's mother, who the 26 yr old male is shagging, is not funny and is certainly not indicative of a "dry sense of humour"?

My 51 yr old sister is involved (not committed and not monogamous) with a 26 yr old man. My sister has two kids, and she says that he makes jokes about how he wants to make moves on her daughters and how funny it is hahaha because he has such a great sense of humour.

AIBU in thinking that no matter HOW hilarious this man may or may not be, making remarks like that about a 13 yr old girl is at worst bordering on being a lech and at best, wholly inappropriate? Or should I lighten up??

He sounds vile.

No it's not funny at all, and would probably make the poor girls feel very uncomfortable. YANBU but don't know what you can do about it. Some women refuse to see that their partners are shits, even if they make their own children feel like crap.

Sounds like his grooming the mother till he can make a move ...

No.
Your sister should get rid.
And if the 'relationship' isn't monogomous, what's he doing around her children anyway?

It would make major alarm bells ring for me.

Make sure those girls know they can speak to you at any time and come to you if they need to.

We live in different continents so I would not even begin to try to make her see what a fuckwit he is. She has convinced herself that she is in love with him and the fact that he is fucking someone else, too, is his "problem", not hers.

He lies to her and makes lewd remarks about her kids (oh what a shame that X is only 13.... sigh.... what a shame!) Gross.

Vile

red flag big time for me too

Massively inappropriate IMO. YANBU

Your sister lets someone in the house who thinks that you can joke about these things?

Clearly your niece should be away from this man,

Is there anyone your sister listens to and respects, that could talk to her?

Where is the children's father, I suspect he would be alarmed to hear that about his daughter, unless he is total idiot too.

My sister is divorced and the girls live mostly with their father so they do not see the man often at all. It is unlikely that he is ever alone with them.

Grooming also crossed my mind. Or getting involved with women with young children so that he can get to the kids. Maybe I have an overactive imagination - not sure.

if he made that sort of comment about my dd i would deck that fucker where he stood, seriously it is very scary that sort of lack of boundaries

He sounds creepy as fuck!

Does the dad know what the bf is saying?

Can you speak to their dad?

"Lack of boundaries" - Yes, that's what it is. Inappropriate as fuck.

I wondered if I was being uptight about this, but thanks, clearly I am not.

Can you let the girl's father know what's going on? He may be more keen to protect her than the mother seems to be .

Sounds like the girls should be living with there dad full time and not having any contact with mum that is not supervised as mum clearly cannot work out what is acceptable conduct and what isant

Yea if the dad is the main carer knew what he was saying I am sure he would be interested to know. Even if the boyfriend has no grooming intentions it's a disgusting way to talk to or about a 13 year old girl.

totally inappropriate

Huge red flag. Are you in contact with your nieces' father? He needs to know about this and to take action to protect the girls from this man and others who may follow in his footsteps.

''if he made that sort of comment about my dd i would deck that fucker where he stood''

This surpasses inappropriate...major alarm bells. You must spell this out for her as if she thinks it's funny she obviously can't see the danger of man like that being around her children.