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Original poster

To be upset that DP has just called me XW name?

62 replies

PenelopePisstop · 13/01/2013 18:06

I asked a question about whether he had heard from friend who was supposed to be coming to ours tonight. In his answer he called me XW name. I was absolutely aghast and repeated the name. My DS was in room and sort of laughed in shock.

DP was enraged at me! He ranted at me as thought I'd said something wrong. I was incredulous, I said (calmly) why are you shouting at me, I haven't said anything, shouldn't you be apologising? He ranted on about being on the phone to Sky all afternoon as though that was an excuse. He then brought up my XP and said (yelled) that I talked about him enough (this really is untrue, I have no interest whatsoever in XP and never refer to him, I never see him, never hear from him and am grateful). He then said he was going to apologise but I went off on one before he got the words out. The only two things I said were as stated above.

He said that if I had a problem with him calling me that then that was my shit and nothing to do with him. He left the room, I looked at DS, both of looking completely bewildered, DS said "massive over-reaction, I just thought it would've been laughed off."

OP posts:
missmatched · 13/01/2013 18:15

No your not bu.

Bloody men,it must be were the moon is I had my head bitten off before because I asked are you makeing toast.

Alisvolatpropiis · 13/01/2013 18:16

Your DS has the measure of it,your DP over reacted massively.

It's easy to slip up if you have spent a long time with a person,my DM called my DSD my DD's name once or twice when they hadn't been together that long, she just apologised and they laughed it off.

FogClearing · 13/01/2013 18:17

He must have been thunking of her and went ott defencively at being picked up on it. Is he still in love with her?

YANBU

Thisisaeuphemism · 13/01/2013 18:17

I think he did over react, however, I nearly get names wrong all the time - v often I get a "phew that was close" feeling! It means nothing but I know it's irritating to be on the receiving end!

LPplusOne · 13/01/2013 18:19

At least it wasn't while in bed together!

waltermittymistletoe · 13/01/2013 18:20

I don't understand why he shouted at you?!

HecatePropolos · 13/01/2013 18:20

wow.

Why did he overreact like that?

NatashaBee · 13/01/2013 18:20

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
PenelopePisstop · 13/01/2013 18:25

I honestly have no idea why he shouted or reacted like that. I am in still in shock about it. He not the type to apologise for anything. He is more likely to try and explain it away rather than say he was wrong.

lpplusone ha yes I suppose I should be grateful for that. Mind, it's a wonder he didn't say that!

OP posts:
StuntGirl · 13/01/2013 18:30

He sounds like he got defensive and so got angry. HWBU.

ReindeerBollocks · 13/01/2013 18:31

Weird overreaction on his part. That's the worst way to react!

You did nothing wrong - he is being an arse about it. Your DS sounds very clued up though.

JustFabulous · 13/01/2013 18:34

Total over reaction on his part but it is so easy to get the name wrong. I have been known to call my dd the cats name and often get my children's names wrong.

You were wrong to have a tantrum when he was about to apologise though. Why did you?

HecatePropolos · 13/01/2013 18:34

Does he routinely shout and yell at you and try to make everything your fault? Or is this something you've not seen before?

PandaOnAPushBike · 13/01/2013 18:34

I've done this several times. Nothing to do with thinking of the ex or still being in love with the ex at all. Lots to do with getting older and brain being slightly fuddled. Thankfully my ex has the same name as my brother so I manage to slip under the radar.

I also frequently call my daughter by the dog's name. That one's not so easy to get away with. :o

HecatePropolos · 13/01/2013 18:36

She didn't, Fab. He just claims that he was about to apologise when she 'had a tantrum' - but what she describes as her reaction isn't a tantrum. A shocked face and saying "jane?" (or whatever) isn't a tantrum. Then he started on her. Then she asked him why he was yelling.

to me, it seems like he said that (I was going to apologise but... blah blah blah...) to make her the bad guy.

Anniegetyourgun · 13/01/2013 18:37

Fair enough, Panda, but do you then shout at DD for noticing you called her by the wrong name?

greenplastictrees · 13/01/2013 18:40

I expect your DH was probably embarrassed and that's why he over reacted. Still, no excuse for reacting like that. Can you be the bigger person, go and tell him you aren't annoyed about the name although are a little miffed about his reaction and ask him about it. I'd like to think he'd apologise at that stage!

JustFabulous · 13/01/2013 18:41

" He then said he was going to apologise but I went off on one before he got the words out."

Hecate, that is what I meant. It reads as he said I am going to apologise. She then strops.

It could also read as he said I was going to apologise but you went off on one.... on second reading.

Original poster
PenelopePisstop · 13/01/2013 18:42

hecate no he doesn't shout and yell at all, I can't remember him ever shouting like that. He can be a bit arsey sometimes. He is very thoughtful and the only 'excuse' for him (that I can come up with) is that he had rung Sky and sorted out HD, new box, package etc., he just did this, not asked to or anything. The call did take ages, as they do. So I believe he thought that he had done something that we would be really happy with and then it all went tits up and his good deed was spoiled. Maybe I'm clutching at straws but as DS observed 'massive over-reaction'.

As I said, he is not good at apologising and not very humble. He's very good at twisting things around when he's said something not quite right.

OP posts:
NewYearNewNagoo · 13/01/2013 18:42

That was a massive over-reaction.

DH did it once, and I have done it, fairly early in the relationship. We shrugged it off, it's easily done I think.

It's not like you were shagging.

Why did he get so angry? Has he apologised yet? Is there a lot of history that would make this an especially terrible mistake?

Original poster
PenelopePisstop · 13/01/2013 18:43

hecate spot on with how it happened.

OP posts:
LadyBeagleEyes · 13/01/2013 18:47

Sounds like you both massively over reacted.
Does it really bother you that much he called you by his ex's name?
I do it all the time with ds, the cats, my dog, hell everybody.

I

skullcandy · 13/01/2013 18:49

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
PenelopePisstop · 13/01/2013 18:50

Since it happened (bout 2hours ago), we haven't spoke. I continued to make tea for me and DS (DP having something separate, hence question about friend arriving).

Friend arrived and they are sat in kitchen, I am in living room. They will be going out to a meeting very soon. However, I will be amazed if he apologises, if he does bring it up at all -it will be trying to explain it away.

OP posts:
HollyBerryBush · 13/01/2013 18:50

Why were you aghast?

I'd have laughed to diffuse it