I'm asking because a friend had a little rant today and told me that this was unreasonable. So I'm more curious, not so much that I think DP is taking the piss.
DP does shift work, in a demanding job, 6 days on then 4 days off. Some shifts start early morning, some start late afternoon, some are night shifts, and its a mix during his 6 days on. I do a 9-5 office job that isn't particularly stressful or demanding. We both commute.
When DP isn't working, he looks after our 1yo. This means he generally looks after DD alone for 4-6 hours either before or after his shift. So, his working days are long. I get DD ready in the mornings and either take her to the CM or have her until I have to go to work, at which point DP gets up. I then do the hour, hour and a half till bedtime when I get home. Most of DP's days off are also spent alone with DD for 10 hours or so, whereas my weekends off I do have DP around a bit more either in the morning or evening.
We're lucky that at the moment DD sleeps really well and so while I still have housework etc to do, pretty much every evening I get at least an hour to myself after doing everything that needs doing, and then I generally get 7-8 hours straight sleep. DP doesn't have this luxury, and can have 5-6 really long days of mixing work and childcare with no time to himself at all.
On the rare occasion he's actually off both days at the weekend, most of the time I let him have both lie-ins. Occasionally I get one but not often. He doesn't ask for both lie-ins, but to be fair he doesn't often offer me one. But then I know he is absolutely knackered. He might also go out and so something on his own for a few hours (bike ride etc).
A friend, who when she has children will be facing a similar scenario because her DP does the same job, had a big rant at me when she heard DP had both lie-ins today and told me that he was being incredibly selfish. I don't think so but, you know, she got me thinking...
Is anyone else in a similar situation, and what do you do? Do you think this sounds fair, considering he's far more knackered during his 'working week' than I am?