to not invite a friend to my birthday because my other friend might ruin it?

[RipplesInTheWater]

Two years ago for my birthday me and a group of friends went on a night out for drinks. I invited one of my oldest friends too and as she didn't really know the other girls so I told her that if she wanted to she could bring a friend with her - which she did.
I've only met her friend a couple of times, she's a very confident and loud funny person. I really like her and think she's a good laugh.

One of my other friends(A) took an instant dislike to her, only because friend was going to an event the next day and mentioned that you couldn't buy tickets on the door, the girl then corrected her that you could as she was actually one of the people working on the event.

The rest of the night was just uncomfortable. My friend had a serious cat bum face the entire night and both my oldest friend and her friend left part way through the night which I don't blame them for.

A couple of days later I met the friendship group for dinner and A instantly started slagging off this other girl, saying how annoying she was, what she was wearing etc.

My birthday is coming up again and I've been friends with a girl at work for almost a year and a half now. I go out with her and her friends when I want a crazy night out, they are very different to my other friends. My friends are the settled down types and the other girls are live for the weekend type people.

I'd really like to invite my work friend out for my birthday, but friend A has occasionally made comments about my work friends life style etc.

I can see this night heading for the same disaster, but then I think why shouldn't I be able to invite who I want to my birthday?

Whenever I have met any of my friends friends I have always been polite to them and even if I didn't like them I still made the effort for my friend because at the end of the day I'm only expected to hang out with these people once a year so it not exactly a hardship.

aibu to expect my friend to do the same for me?

Have two evenings out with the two different groups of friends? It might be more fun for YOU!

Exactly what I was going to say! Don't think of inviting both or rejecting either - just have two nights out with your two sets of friends.

I would have two evenings out with the two different groups.

I have 2 separate groups of friends, one who are real party animals and another who are more sedate...I usually see them separately, the only time they've all been out together was for my hen do. I've no reason to think they wouldn't all get on, but they are quite different so easier that way.

Definitely have two nights out. That way you get the best of both worlds and can forget about excluding anyone.

Have two nights out - not all friends mix well. And think about whether it's worth keeping A as a friend. She's taken against two different friends of yours. Is she jealous? Insecure? Or just spoilt.

Friend A sounds a pain in the arse.

My first thought exactly,to have two nights. My work friends wouldn't recognise me out with theatre friends! Ne'er the twain shall meet

Yes, Friend A does sound quite nasty.

My DD1 has several distinct friendship groups and they tend not to merge nights out as they like different things. Make your birthday extra special with a couple of nights out.

More fun to have two nights out, doing very different things. You're very lucky to have two different friendship groups!

Friend A is a pain in the arse, I wouldn't invite her and would probably drift away from calling her a friend.

I think friend A is the one who shouldn't be invited. She seems to be the one who causes awkwardness.

Definitely two nights out! Twice the fun and half the worry!

I've got various gangs of mates who must never be allowed to meet or my universe will self destruct ( only slight exageration ... ) The idea of a mingling of my PTA crew and my Biker/Geek collective brings me out in a cold sweat just thinking about it!

I would have sedate dinner with friends as friend A sounds like she looks down on people who go 'out' and have wild night with work friends. I still like the occasional crazy night out, they are great fun! Friend A sounds like a stuck up bitch.

Or if you don't want to or can't afford 2 nights out, then invite who you want, not friend A and if she says anything then tell her that you thought crazy nights out were not her thing due to her comments about them.

I rarely mix my friend groups, just a hassle having to go between then all. Have separate nights out.

Friend a sounds a bit of a bitch and a nightmare - I would not invite her.

Dump friend A? I wouldn't want to hang out with people so negative about others tbh!

A sounds pathetic, a prat and petty to boot. Talk about holding a grudge for a stupid reason! I've found people that are that petty and grudge holding are probably slagging you off behind your back anyway and not worth holding onto. I'd drop her and invite the others.

Drop A, she sounds mean and jealous.

You can then go out with whoever you LIKE!

I would drop A too, she doesnt sound like someone I would want as a friend. She sounds petty bitter and jealous.

If I couldnt do 2 nights, then the person who wouldn't get an invite would be the one who would cause the bother!
Why should someone miss out in order to pander to someone who is rude?