to want DH to have a 'sex' talk with DSS?

[timeforatalk]

Have namechanged.

Wasn't sure where to put this but wanted lots of opinions because I'm not sure what normal behaviour is for boys this age.

Anyway, to cut to the chase, DSS(10) and DS(5) still get in the bath together usually when DSS is with us. Tonight I went into the bathroom and saw that DS was holding DSS's penis and appeared to be squeezing it. DS is uninhibited like kids of that age are, always shedding clothes and running around naked; he plays with his own penis unselfconsciously. We just tell him it is private but don't make a big deal out of it.

I have told DH about it and asked him to have 'a talk' with DSS. He seemed a bit reluctant but i insisted - DH has never had any kind of birds and bees talk with DSS but is also sure that DSS's mum won't have, either. He asked what he should say so I told him to ask what DSS knew about sex already and work from there - with a focus on genitals being private/not letting anyone touch.

I don't need to worry about this, right?

get a copy of this book and sit down and read it with them, answer any questions that come up totally honestly and make it an open non awkward subject.

No.

But you do need to ensure that someone is talking responsibly and responsively to DSS about sex and relationships (and I agree that DH is prime candidate for this).

You might want to think about separating (or reverting to supervising) bath times.

I would encourage separate bathing as well.

Have ordered book.

Have been trying to encourage separate bathing for a while; offering DSS the choice of a shower etc. It is a bit tricky as he doesn't bathe at home so for a long time our priority has been to make sure he is clean.

DH said talk went well; DSS said he knew how babies were made (they did it in year 5, apparently) but didn't know about erections.

I'm glad they have started a discussion; will also talk to DS about 'touching'.

Step-parenting is not easy.

Thanks everyone.

It sounds like it went well, I'm sure the book will help.

(No it's not easy is it).