To consider private for my DS's on our income?

[Lotsofknockers]

I don't wish to get into the state vs private but am considering private for my DS's for various reasons - is it affordable on a income of £130k per year? Day dees around 10k per year which will rise for prep. We live in London - one DS would go this year the other in two years time but there would be consideration of nursery fees of around £800 a month so technically the same as two lots of fees now. Are we mad to consider it? Will we be struggling? Mortgage is around £1300 per month.

We have a higher income and live in London but decided against private when we found an outstanding primary school for our DD. We're saving a proportion of the saved income for tuition later for state selective and private secondaries. But if she gets into an excellent state school at secondary (we're Catholic and there are a couple of outstanding state Catholic girls schools near us) then we'll plough the money into her savings account.

Is there a good state primary near you and could you then save your money for private at secondary? Is your income likely to rise in the future?

Is it one salary or two? If two then do need to cover all the holidays with childcare?

Yes I think you could

Yiu also need to factor in things like music lessons, drama lessons, sports clubs etc. I can tell you that you may need to add another few hundred a term if your DCs want to participate.

On 130k in London I'd say yes if you had one child, no for 2.

Going without holidays might look like a doable sacrifice, but you're looking at 10+ years with no holidays.

We have an au pair for holidays and after school - would be much cheaper for you with two DCs. Takes some getting used to but really happy with the arrangement, the support of another adult(ish) around in emergencies etc.

We manage the fees on an income 20% less than yours and still manage holidays, cars and other treats.

We could send our two DDs to their friends senior school on that just if DH and I both earned 50%

If DHs salary went up to that much (and pigs would be flying round Big Ben), I think the tax man would take too much.

One DC yes, both???

We run cheapish cars and have a much smaller mortgage perhaps £500 a month and live reasonably comfortably on half that.

The huge factor as someone mentioned is child care.

Private primary, unless your local schools are horrific is a mugs game for SAHM or parents who can juggle child care or use GPs. If you start needing wrap around care and your state primary doesn't do it on site it can be very expensive.

We earn a bit more but bought near a good primary that we're happy with so far, and will reassess later if need be. Not going into the state vs private debate, it's just been really nice IMO to get to know all the parents and children in the area and have my children walk to school.

Our sums are similar and we are waiting until secondary and planning to have half the fees saved so that we aren't paying everything out of income.

Even so we are toying with moving 20 miles up the road to a decent catchment for secondary and then the Grade 1 ranked 6th form with excellent Oxbridge links.

Oh no my diamond shoes are too tight, and my wallet is too small for my £50 notes.

Seriously get a life. If you want an exclusive education for your kids and you have 7k a month to live on, of course you can afford it unless you're pissing away money on stupid stuff.

I live in an area where there is an anachronistic grammar school system and it pisses me off that people like you come and move to areas like this because you can't be arsed paying for the exclusivity you seek. So you shove your kids in prep schools and hot house them through the 11+ and milk off the state as grammar schools become little state private schools full of bourgeois tousled hair kids.

I went to a lowly comp. I got a first from Oxford and a PhD and I would know better than to ask such a stupid, bad taste question. It just depends on what you want from an education.

Inappropriate - never was a name more apt!

It isn't a 'bad taste' question, it is just a question.

Perhaps you should remove the chip from your shoulder, it looks heavy.

People that earn a lot of money and pay a lot of tax, are hardly milking off the state grammar school are they? They have as much a right to send their child to school there as anybody.

Yes you can afford it, no question.

Alibabaandthe40nappies got there before me - I might have been more rude.

I am surprised so many people are saying you can't! On that salary, of course you can! Just plan your budget properly.

Thanks for all your responses - there is a lot for us to consider, more than I thought in fact. It is a position we have not quite reconciled and I don't want to be resentful in the long term if it does have a significant impact on our lifestyle. My instinct tells me that is worth it but it really is a question of the maths for us and it is good to get a sense of the additional extras and a range of perspectives even though it may seem 'stupid' to others.

Go with your instinct, you'll be less likely to have any regrets.

I am seriously considering leaving my well paid job and if I did we would have a joint income of £125k (but we are not in London). Our mortgage payment is lower than yours although we overpay. We have two DSs in a very good private prep and we don't think it's doable on that salary. Not when you factor in the price increases and the fact that interest rates won't stay where they are forever.

If I leave my job however we will keep them in school and move to a smaller house.

IMO it's all about choices and priorities. We are in the states and dh's salary is about $130K American dollars. Ds tuition is $17,00K a year and it is going to go up to about 24K at 8th grade.

I'm not going to pull punches. Ds is very intelligent and he'd be bored sick at public, and I hate the atmosphere of them in our city. He'd be going down at least two grades. We moved for dh's work, and our old school was half the price. But we weren't going to have ds suffer, so we bought our house based on what we knew tuition was going to be. Our lifestyle is based on ds large tuition payments.

We know people that complain about the schools but have posh houses. Our house is quite nice but modest. That is our choice. Our neighbors (blimey even dh's boss who makes double) say they can't afford our school, they would love it. Bullocks. They buy things we don't, they have large houses. One neighbor had the audacity to tell me their motorhome cost them less than half of what we pay for a year of tuition. She immediately apologised but I was ripping angry at that point and coolly informed "it's all about choices" and didn't apologise for it either.

Sorry it just struck a nerve with me. We prefer keep ds education on the same level on where was, we don't live a luxurious life but we budget budget budget. You can make it work, but it Is work and sacrifice.

Our joint income are similar. Our mortgage payments are similar. And we have two DCs at private school. So it is do-able. However, there is nothing left to go into rainy day savings account.
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We have another 12 yrs on the mortgage so there are days when we stop and think about how we could be mortgage free in 5 years if only DCs were at state school. Or how we can have a new car every 3 years plus two holidays a year or .... or .....

But when the kids come home and talk about their day at school all doubts just fade away.

you might be able to manage.

I thought it was fairly routine in London to do this. Mr friend lives in Dulwich and most of her friends kids go to private schools and they sacrifice holidays and such like to do it. I don't think you have a great choice of state schools though. Probably because you all take your kids out of state education thereby leaving the more deprived kids. So why not. Continue the cycle of social deprivation.

Does anyone else wonder how the State education system would be if all the 5% (or whatever) left their children in and paid the 100s of K each to the schools in London? What size would the classes be then? How would it affect things?

OTOH I also wonder how someone with 130K doesn't have a proper budget which tells them if they can afford private schools.

Cynical and mean tonight, sorry...