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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

16 kids and counting...

378 replies

thatisall · 11/01/2013 21:47

I genuinely don't know what I think, have no strong opinions about their lifestyle, life choices etc etc.....my first thoughts were that it was just too many but they seem very nice and happy lol

Am I being unreasonable to want to chat about the show on here anyway?

No I'm not a jour no trying to get a MN quote before someone suggests it....

....just sat at home alone thinking 16....? 16!? :-O

OP posts:
Original poster
thatisall · 13/01/2013 02:13

Bloomin predictive text!?!

OP posts:
Mosman · 13/01/2013 02:29

They would be perfectly entitled to tax credits given his income and being self employed they will just split the money between the two parents to bring it under the threshold. By my basic calculations (ie my own circumstances when I claimed for 4, times by 4) they would be brining in 1000 a month in CB and over 800 a WEEK in tax credits.
Nobody should be taking that sort of money out of the public purse and that's aside of the NHS costs every time she has another newborn, any special needs the children have and their education.

cantspel · 13/01/2013 02:42

The program did say they only claim Child benefit so unless someone gives some evidence to say the program was wrong i will accept that.

They did come across as a loving if some what large family. Not ideal as they are using more than their fair share of resources but as it is so unusual in this country to find such a large family i dont think one or 2 families like this are going to make a real difference to the public purse.

There are varies different types family who cost the state more than the average family but we dont tell them they shouldn't have a family.

HopAndSkip · 13/01/2013 02:50

mosman, anyone having a baby costs the NHS. What makes one of her babies less important than someone elses baby? They arent claiming tax credits according to the show.

And as for the people saying it's glorifying teenage pregnancy... It shows an 18 year old who is working, in a 2 year relationship, and had an accidental pregnancy. What makes that any worse then a 32 year old who is working and in a 2 year relationship? Shes not a "teenager" in the sense of being under 18 and in education still.

Mosman · 13/01/2013 03:16

I find that very difficult to believe that they aren't claiming 50,000 untaxed income, to be honest the figure's simply do not add up otherwise.
As for one baby being more important than any other - that wasn't what I said at all was it ? I do think she's had her quota of services now, don't you ?

cantspel · 13/01/2013 03:32

Well even the daily mail says they dont receive state benefits and with the mails love of benefit bashing it must be true.

quirrelquarrel · 13/01/2013 03:33

What a nice thread for the family to read! The relevant bits full of people saying how lovely a family they are....tbh when I clicked on the thread I wasn't expecting this, I thought there'd be many more environmentalists and lots of contrasting opinions. Am watching it alongside (alternately pausing/watching!) and isn't the dad great, and the mum, but I do not know how on earth they do it. There just seems to be something hidden. How do they not struggle? It can't just be that they're laidback.

Must say they should be proud of all their kids, they all seem v. well brought up.

CheerfulYank · 13/01/2013 04:48

Good God, y'all! :o

I only saw the trailer...can't figure out where to watch the show. My impression was that they were doing a very good job.

It does seem like a lot, attention wise. It'd be hard to make them all feel special for who they were individually iyswim.

That being said, I want 5 myself (or maybe 7, just always wanted an odd number for some reason) and I get quite the cat's bums when I say that. I get a lot of "ooh, you don't want that, how could you care for them all", etc. So really who's to say how many are "enough"? I don't intend for them to all be biological though, and we have no NHS for me to strain. :)

EasilyBored · 13/01/2013 08:38

There is no quota on services. Or shall we tell people with cancer that if they get it again they wont get treatment as they've already used their quota of services? Ffs.

I don't think it's particularly fair on the kids to have that many siblings, but they are all wanted, loved and taken.care of. That's a lot more than some children get. You only have to take a quick look at the relationship board to see that they are very lucky to have the loving family that they do

Mosman · 13/01/2013 08:51

People with cancer can't help needing treatment - this lady can FFS

melbie · 13/01/2013 09:45

I would rather a nice family had 16 children and looked after them well and showed them the value of working hard for a living and the importance of family and love of parents, than a couple had 1 child and brought them up badly in misery and abuse or setting them bad examples. That is much more irresponsible and unfair on the child and society. I know we are overcrowded as a planet and not everyone can do this but it is just one family and if they are all happy and loved then that is a wonderful thing. I did not see the program but the thread is making me long for babies!

Yes they will cost the country money but they sound like they are being brought up in a way which will make it much more likely they will financially (and personally in terms of their ethos) contribute in the future and pay that back. I think just sometimes it is really nice to celebrate love and happiness in a fairly miserable world!

pigletmania · 13/01/2013 10:10

The parents did not want to stop at 16, te mum is 37, so could still keep reproducing until the menopause in her 50s. So could have 12 more kids, it's ridiculous sometimesxp you have to say enough is enough. I am sure that having an extraordinary large family depleates the family finances. I remember seeing e programme last year and I your kids are saying its too much and to stop Mabey it's time to. Seems as f te children have got loads of common sense

pigletmania · 13/01/2013 10:13

They went on holiday, the dad had been awake for 36 hours and was supervising all those children in the pool, some of which can't swim, not safe really.

FutTheShuckUp · 13/01/2013 10:41

Its very interesting how the teenage daughter has now become a parent herself. There seems to be an attitude amongst families with lots of children that having babies is the most important thing that you can do and this extends to their own children who tend to become young parents themselves perpetuating the cycle

Mosman · 13/01/2013 10:52

I'm from a large family and saw first hand how crap it can be, most people I know who are 1 of 8, mainly Irish I'll be honest, have gone on to have 1 or 2 children themselves.

WaynettaSlobsLover · 13/01/2013 11:02

Mosman why was it crap for you in particular? I must say I'm also very skeptical about these massive families and whilst they were lovely and hardworking, I couldn't get why the mum would keep risking her health.

pigletmania · 13/01/2013 11:07

That's right mossman, if your kids are bemused by it, and are saying its too many children and time to stop Mabey they have a point and they should listen to what their kids have to say, instead of doing as they please with no thought on the impact of their existing family. Yes it's better to be in a large loving family than a small abusive one, but this is two extremes, most people are in the middle

Mosman · 13/01/2013 11:52

I don't think it did me any harm and I do have four children so I'm contradicting myself a bit however I made sure that I had lots of help, cleaners, a morning or two in nursery and was in a position financially to make sure nobody went without.

In my 20's I spent thousands and I mean thousands on new clothes, racked up a lot of debt because I'd never had anything that wasn't a hand me down before. My siblings apart from one did exactly the same. Harsh lesson to learn but we owned nothing and shared everything.

I know one lady who has eight and she is always there for each and every child, she's a bloody angel so I know it can be done but even though her children are in their thirties the lady literally does not sit down. That's not the life I would choose or want for my DC.

Madmum24 · 13/01/2013 12:17

Mosman i can relate to the irish large family situation, but this family seemsw very different to me. They buy new clothes for all of the children, they all have their own beds (but choose to sleep together) and the children are all wanted (unlike irish siyuation where contraception was banned and many women got "caught out".

Mosman · 13/01/2013 12:23

That's true Madmum (hopefully not of 24) Grin

Madmum24 · 13/01/2013 12:27

mosman i only have 5 but after this programme i feel that i want to reeeeeproooooduce. Off in search of a dirt cheap ex care home lol

expatinscotland · 13/01/2013 12:38

I find it really hard to believe they are not claiming tax credits and able to feed everyone, provide £250 gifts for the teens, run the house and car(s) and go on holiday on £30K gross.

And she was not 18 when she had a baby, she was bloody 14!

Should teen mums be shamed and belittled? No, but nor should the media give air-time and press-time to people like this, who are a drain on the evironment and the world's resources (I also think CB should end for over 2 children for everyone. The solution to over-population, which is what we have in teh world, is net migration, not having more babies).

Sure, they're still together. How many other 14-year-old parents wind up otherwise?

I didn't watch it because I disagree with people having so many children, no matter how 'lovely'. I think there's something wrong with people who do this, tbh, and as stated don't watch shows like the Duggers, people who have loads of kids, polygs who have tons of kids, etc. There's nothing fuzzy or lovely about it, IMO.

GreenShadow · 13/01/2013 12:41

Part of me would love a larger family (have 3 DC) but I felt genuinely guilty even choosing to have that many.

Every child will probably grow up to have its own car - that's 14 extra cars on the road (based on an average family of 2 children) using up valuable resources, 14 additional mobile phones, up to 14 extra houses needed. Sometimes we all have to think of the greater good of the country, not just what we want.

expatinscotland · 13/01/2013 12:44

'Sometimes we all have to think of the greater good of the country, not just what we want.'

Exactly.

GreenShadow · 13/01/2013 12:47

Thanks Expat. I know it sounds mean, but if we all did as we wished all the time, our standard of living for all would go down.