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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to think its ok for a child to not like something

65 replies

mamamibbo · 10/01/2013 21:00

i was telling my mum, what i thought was a funny story about ds2 (2 and a half ) having his first taste of a soft boiled egg and 'soldiers' for his dinner he dipped it, lcked it and pulled a face like it was a lemon and then said "no thankyou" so i made him a sandwich instead

my mum told me i shouldnt have given him anything else and he would have to eat it if he was hungry and i was too soft on him

is she mean unreasonable or am i being soft?

OP posts:

katiecubs · 10/01/2013 21:05

She is - I don't think you have to like everything either especially on the first try!

laughinglikeadrain · 10/01/2013 21:06

she is... they reckon it takes 20 tastes to like something.... keep trying!

Purplehonesty · 10/01/2013 21:06

I would never force ds to eat something he didn't like. He tried it that good enough for me. He may well like it next time he tries.
She IBU

KenLeeeeeee · 10/01/2013 21:09

It took me twenty years to learn to like eggs! On the first try I (apparently) threw up and cried hysterically any time an egg was within 4 feet of me thereafter.

There's a difference between being 'difficult' about a perfectly reasonable meal, and genuinely not liking something. I would have abandoned the egg and made a sandwich too. YANBU.

kaiserfootmuff · 10/01/2013 21:09

i try a bit then don't usually push it. i remember my mum giving me cabbage for years and i didn't 'get' it ever!

wouldn't like to put my kids through that really

DrCoconut · 10/01/2013 21:10

Soft boiled eggs are always unreasonable But no, offering an alternative is not so bad as long as it doesn't develop into a routine where DS refuses dinner and gets sweets or something! Our DS2 is having a bit of a faddy phase too.

JessicaMLH · 10/01/2013 21:10

She is BU, I wouldn't make DD eat anything she didn't like. She's not a fussy eater, loves fruit and veg etc so if she doesn't like something there's obviously a reason for it! However if it was something she had eaten before I wouldn't have offered anything else.

freddiefrog · 10/01/2013 21:12

There are things I don't like and don't force myself to eat, so I extend that same courtesy to my kids.

My only rule is that they have to have a reasonable stab at trying something new and if they really don't like it, fair enough

LaCiccolina · 10/01/2013 21:12

I'm with u here. I prefer at this point not to make much fuss. If dd also 2 tries it and says no mummy then I may well swop it if its dinner. I'm less fussed if dinner as by then I figure I know what else she's had that day to be a bit fussy iykwim.

I do have to show a food about 20 times though before its accepted. Potato has taken 8 mths something in consistency of mash before she didn't like, now tho its being eaten. Potato waffles similar. Carrot too.

U know ur son. Doing it once is no harm. Every day then yes something's wrong.

Fairenuff · 10/01/2013 21:14

He tried it. That's great. He may try it again sometime in his life. However, if it's forced on him he will hate it forever.

I'm always happy if my dcs are willing to try a new taste. Of course it's ok if they don't like it but I prefer them to at least try.

Now they are teenagers and they both eat anything! Don't set yourself up for a lifetime of food battles.

PrincessMononoke · 10/01/2013 21:15

It's fine not to like things, bet your dm doesn't like all food.
Anyway, at least he was polite about it

GregBishopsBottomBitch · 10/01/2013 21:18

My daughter has a thing about sausages, shes 5 and adamant she doesnt like them, so i dont give them too her, children know what they like.

Just be careful about offering another option, because that might turn into a food battle, if my DD is having a picky day, i dont offer another option.

Original poster

mamamibbo · 10/01/2013 21:20

i love the no thankyou, it sounds like "noo tankoo" hes very polite, says "yes peeeease!" aswell :)

OP posts:

AmandaLF · 10/01/2013 21:21

I tried my 6.5 month old with scrambled egg. He kept pulling faces when I was feeding him it but kept eating it. He ended up crying! It must be an egg thing.

DewDr0p · 10/01/2013 21:21

Genuine dislikes are totally fine in this house.

Deciding you don't like something before even tasting it or refusing to eat something you wolfed down the week before is less well-received!

I think egg yolk is quite a challenging texture for a toddler tbh

mrsjay · 10/01/2013 21:24

my dd went 16 years refusing cheese id never force her 2 years ago the little bugger had a cheese toasty and liked it, I wouldn't force a toddler to eat anything and bless him he did try it and say no thank you which is sweet try him again though you never know when he is 17 h e might like them

mrsjay · 10/01/2013 21:25

DH was forced food as a youngster his mum said they couldn't afford waste which is fair enough but he is the fussiest eater going he drives me insane, whereas my mum would say try it if not leave it,

Pseudo341 · 10/01/2013 21:29

Everyone has food they don't like, I don't like cauliflower. I have the rule that if my 2yo DD refuses her meal she gets plain bread and butter instead. I don't make a fuss about it, I wouldn't leave her hungry but I'm a bit wary of letting her think that she can turn something down and get something nicer instead. When I cock up the cooking with both have bread and butter!

BonfireBaby · 10/01/2013 21:29

YANBU my Mum says this and it does my head in. As others say, as long as they try things and are generally good eaters, they don't have to like everything! This causes a few issues when my Mum has my kids so I feel your pain!

mrsjay · 10/01/2013 21:31

I wouldnt be pandering to fussy eating though I do think there is a difference between not liking something and just not wanting to eat ,

veryworried29 · 10/01/2013 21:34

Yanbu. I don't imagine there are many people in the world who like all foods without exception.

My ds has never liked potatoes from the very first time he tried them. He is now 9 and still doesn't like them and I don't see why he should force himself to keep trying just to please his grandparents!

janelikesjam · 10/01/2013 21:34

Agree. Keep putting different kinds of food in front of him to try, but don't force, its just pointless and counter-productive. More than likely, one day that hated tomato will suddenly be tried and loved.

As a child I hated bacon, blue cheese, olives, brown sauce, for starters. Now I love them all. No one commented on what I liked or disliked, so I just got on with it and ate what I wanted.

But it can be emotional I know, if you've gone to some trouble to prepare something for your child/ren, its hard not to take it personally!!!

DontmindifIdo · 10/01/2013 21:35

You have to remember in our parents generation (and definately when they were DCs) having enough food/money for food to just throw something out and replace it with something else if DC didn't like was probably rare. We tend to forget that food is relatively cheap now (even with recent rises), so rules like "forcing children to clear their plates" don't need to apply anymore. It's better to keep happy associations with food, we insist that DS tries something,then after that he's free to turn it down.

What annoys me is when DH gives him honey on toast when DS refuses food, not replacing things with 'treats'.

janelikesjam · 10/01/2013 21:35

My son does not like potatos also from the first day he tried them

Jamdoughnutfiend · 10/01/2013 21:36

I don't mind as long as they try food before saying they don't like it.

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