My DH was quite rude about my cooking yesterday. He is a really fussy eater (he doesnt even like his own mother's cooking). Every other month he suddenly goes off a certain type of food that I cook which he had previously been eating quite happily. This puts me in a predicament because Im suddenly not able to make a dish that I have learnt and perfected because he just wont eat it. Before it was spaghetti bolognaise. Yesterday he declared that he doesnt like rice anymore (well unless I can make him biryani - the cheek!). Anyway after a very heated discussion DH said that he would cook today and he decided to make soup. My DH has no clue how to cook by the way and after glimpsing how he made it (just banging all the vegetables and meat in and leaving it to boil for about 30 mins) I really dont feel like trying it especially since he added lamb to it which I really dont think is cooked properly through. I am still a bit annoyed about his comment yesterday (that I cook the same couple of dishes all the time, this is regardless of the fact that the only thing he knows how to make is fried eggs for breakfast). I have a 4 month old ds and dont have the time (or inclination) to learn new recipes. Normally the few times he does attempt to make dinner I always eat it and am pleasant about it. But today I want to demonstrate my displeasure about what he said yesterday. AIBU to put burgers and chips in the oven for my dinner and boycott his probably poisonous soup.
AIBU?
I keep returning to two things you have said, OP:
"Every other month he suddenly goes off a certain type of food that I cook which he had previously been eating quite happily. "
"I'm less picky so I just cook whatever he likes but the frustrating thing is when he stops liking something. Thats what gets to me because then I have to find some replacement or have leftover food which he refuses to chuck (doesn't believe in wasting food ) so I either have to eat it or throw it away myself."
And I am seeing this more and more as a control issue.
How can he claim that he "doesn't believe in wasting food" when that is all he does, all the time? Because this whole 'going off' foods he has previously liked just won't wash. Adults don't suddenly dislike a food previously liked. Tastebuds just don't work that way. At most, you can become bored by it. Currently he goes off something, you respond by going to the effort of finding new things to cook. Effectively he says jump, you ask 'how high?'.
He dictates what you eat when you are with him (" I just cook whatever he likes") AND, by implication, some of what you eat when you are not with him ("leftover food which he refuses to chuck ... so I either have to eat it or throw it away myself"). So he is largely in control of what you eat.
He refuses to discard food that he won't eat. What's that all about? What does he think will happen to the food he won't eat and won't dispose of? I'm inclined to see it as passing the buck to you, because you're his domestic servant and he's far too important to deal with it. I know you've said he's always been like this, previously living on takeaways. But as lottiegarbanzo pointed out, "Most of us are aware that a domestic kitchen doesn't work the same way as a restaurant, there's one meal for everyone and ingredients and leftovers need using." Your kitchen is not a takeaway,you are not his personal chef, and he is being unreasonable.
"Funnily enough DH once made a meal plan for me of what he wanted for the week. 
Typed it up and printed it off and everything."
Well I had a face when I read that. That was not a meal plan. A meal plan you would BOTH have had input to. That was a clear indication that he regards meals as being FOR HIM. You don't get to choose because you are not as important as him. Again, treating you like staff 
.
You've put up with this for a long time peacefuloptimist (interesting choice of name). He got away with it at the start, because your family's fussy eating habits made you think this was the norm (it's really not), and because you were not a confident cook then - nobody is without a few years of cooking under their belts. But now that you are a confident cook, you "know for sure now the problem is him not me". Absolutely. HE is the problem.
I think now would be a good time to put your foot down and regain control. You have a four-month-old's needs to attend to, and that is far more important than pandering to the ADOLESCENT WHIMS of the other adult in your household (you said "he doesn't even like eating what my dmil makes which seems to me quite unusual"). Caring for a four-month-old takes time and effort, so you have neither to waste on pandering to your husband. You know it is pandering, you used the word yourself. And it's all very well him saying that he "doesn't feel like he needs to set an example right now because ds is so little" - he's going to need to set that example at some point, and I think you'll both find that time flies with DC (blink and your newborn is going to school, in my experience). Your husband's low boredom threshold should not be the driver of what all three of you eat.
Do what I'd do with a fussy child. You cook something they like, they refuse to eat it and so they don't get offered an alternative.
If you are doing the cooking, tell him what you're making for tea so that he can make other arrangements if he doesn't want what you are cooking.
My dp is quite the opposite, when I ask him what he'd like for tea he always says he doesn't mind and wolfs whatever I cook down. I'm the fussy one in this house. 
TBH I think I would just cook what I wanted to and then tell him at the dinner table to pick out the food he doesn't like and leave it like that.
Whatever you cook will be wrong by the sounds of it so stop worry about his chopping and changing and let him sort himself out.
Vegetable stir fry and then picks out the vegetables - there would be nothing left but the noodles in this house 
When will he turn 12?
Thanks everyone.
Have done a lot of thinking today. I think this will not end like meatball gate.
SurrounedByBlue your thread is well known for a reason! I read the first page then the last page then went back to read the rest of it. Definitely didnt see that coming.
About whether he likes meatballs I dont actually know. Just went for a second helping of his 'soup' though. Im quite annoyed that its not that bad. I was hoping it would be a complete disaster and he would come grovelling back to ask for my rice. But I had it with the rice for lunch. Went well together might serve it like that for dinner.
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Hi lottie. I have tolerated his 'eccentricity' in the past so he has definitely become complacent. Since ds was born though my frustration with dh's ways has grown and I have been a lot more assertive with him as a consequence. He is quite slow to respond but has started to change. I don't think he is deliberately being so awkward with food. He would be shocked If he read some of these comments. I agree with
CheeseandPickled that he is getting bored which is why I took up someone's suggestion of learning new dishes in the weekend together. I don't mean I want to take responsibility for teaching Dh how to cook but just that if Im going to learn how to cook something new then he should learn it as well. I think this will work as he is a bit of a homebody so is in the house underfoot most of the weekend. If Dh knows how to cook that will send a good example to ds that men should be able to look after themselves and cooking is not women's work. So its in my interest to help him improve his skills rather than just leaving him to continue to keep his skills to the level of making toast and putting ready-made food in the oven to heat up. His mum should have really done this though.
This has turned into a relationships thread I would have probably got several ltbs by now if I had posted there.
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