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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

AIBU to buy much needed clothes for dd with her birthday money

28 replies

Shinyshoes1 · 10/01/2013 15:42

I have 3 DC's and I normally buy their clothes for them out of the household money . Money has been tight of late espesh this month where it's the Christmas hangover financially wise .

Dd's birthday was last Monday . She doesn't need another toy it's like a branch of toys r us in here but she does desperately need new clothes .

She hasn't had a new wardrobe of clothes for about 2 years , she turned 5 Monday and is growing out of everything . AIBU to spend her money on clothes for herself .
I wouldn't give clothes as a present unless it's my Ds1 as he's a walking advert for Superdry and the household budget stretches to Primarni or sainsburys

I'm a bit funny about spending "gift" money on clothes but needs must .
I feel awful that I've bought the boys clothes out of household money but using her birthday money for clothes it seems unfair
AIBU ?

OP posts:

GoldPlatedNineDoors · 10/01/2013 15:46

The gift money was surely given so that your dd could have things she needs or wants. She doesnt need or want for more toys but she needs new clothes. YANBU.

We were given a chunk of.money from my Gran for DDs first birthday and we both said when we opened it "wow, that will keep her in clothes for the year"

YABU to.not give.clothes as a gift though - I would only get mew clothes for christmas and birthdays. Stopped me nagging for them uneccessarily throigh the year.

I read somewhere the best mantra for gift buying is
One thing they want
One thing they need
One thing to.wear
One thing to read.

McNewPants2013 · 10/01/2013 15:47

Yanbu but perhaps allow her to pick her own clothes.

notMarlene · 10/01/2013 15:49

YANBU, most sensible in fact. Crack on!

frootshoots · 10/01/2013 15:49

It'd be daft to spend the money on something she doesn't need. Clothing that fits, especially in this weather, is much more important than another toy. I often buy myself clothes if I get money for birthdays or christmas, I don't see this as being any different maybe let her pick something so it feels more like a treat for her?

CaptChaos · 10/01/2013 15:50

YANBU at all.

The only new clothes I ever got were either gifts, or bought with gift money when I was too young to spend it myself. Birthdays around Christmas time are difficult to buy for, as children tend to disappear under a mountain of 'stuff' anyway.

Locketjuice · 10/01/2013 15:50

I think its fine to spend it on clothes my sons birthday is coming up he will be 1 my house is like toys r us so asked for money or clothes for him

TameGaloot · 10/01/2013 15:52

Why not find a load of suitable stuff and then ask her to pick from them the appropriate amount of each item

sooperdooper · 10/01/2013 15:53

I think that's a perfectly reasonable idea, go for it

ClutchingMyPearls · 10/01/2013 15:55

YANBU I did exactly this over Christmas with 4 yr old DD who had a mountain of toys and was also give £80 as Christmas money from various relatives. I couldn't justify any more toys, but she did need some new clothes, so I took her to the sales and let her choose a few things, which she found fun anyway.

bedmonster · 10/01/2013 15:56

Nbu if she needs them at all. In this situation it would be daft to do otherwise when she needs clothes.
But I would buy the basics first then allow her some choice with whatevers left. That will be a treat in itself.

WilsonFrickett · 10/01/2013 15:59

I'd spend the majority on clothes and let her buy a wee pocket money toy for herself with a little bit of it. There's a whole stand of things for a couple of quid in our local John Lewis and I bet she'd love having a crisp £5 (or even a shiny £2) to get what she wanted with.

jb198 · 10/01/2013 16:00

Go for it! People would rather she has something she needs than more toys if she's short of clothes.
My dd got 12 sets of pjs at Christmas, all from George and many duplicates. We took 9 sets back and they put it on a gift card, I let her choose a few bits that day and we will pop in when she is in need of anything else.

StuntGirl · 10/01/2013 16:01

Absolutely reasonable, no need to feel bad or guilty.

KellyElly · 10/01/2013 16:03

My DD is a bit younger than yours, but I often spend her birthday money on clothes. Maybe let her choose something small like a sticker book/colouring book as well if there's enough money so she can have something to play with as well.

thegreylady · 10/01/2013 16:05

Take her clothes shopping and give her some input-I bet she'll love it :)

PurplePidjin · 10/01/2013 16:07

Can you take her out for the day and help her choose her own? Have lunch, and cake, and try on unsuitable hands, and lots of unrushed 1:1 time to make it a treat...

magimedi88 · 10/01/2013 16:08

YANBU

Take her shopping - just the two of you, if you can & make it a special time. Maybe finish up with a drink & bun in a cafe?

MaxPepsi · 10/01/2013 16:08

I feel awful that I've bought the boys clothes out of household money but using her birthday money for clothes it seems unfair

So when things have evened out and are things are no longer tight, treat her to something lovely out of the household budget.

She's to young to know. I gave money for my god daughters birthday and xmas last year as I know her mum is struggling due to divorce and told her to get whatever was needed as her financial circumstances had changed so much. I care not a jot if it's clothes, a treat to mcdonalds, toys or if it gets saved up.

PomBearWithAnOFRS · 10/01/2013 16:10

There have been years where at least two of my DCs got school uniform for Christmas. Needs must sometimes, your DD needs clothes so buy her clothes. It's not like she's deprived of anything else.

CremeEggThief · 10/01/2013 16:13

YANBU. I have done this for DS in the past, and probably will again at some point.
If you can, try to leave her some to spend as she sees fit, but I wouldn't worry too much if you can't spare it.

MoodyDidIt · 10/01/2013 16:14

i have done this for my dcs before and felt DREADFUL about it

but am glad to hear most people think its ok

redandwhitesprinkles · 10/01/2013 16:14

I think it is fine and have taken £20 of my dd Christmas money to put towards ballet shoes. However, I wouldn't spend it all I would put at least half in a savings account.

CoffeeGoneColdAgain · 10/01/2013 16:14

Hi Op, it was my Dds 6 th birthday yesterday, being so close to Christmas we have a house full of toys and games now, she was very lucky and received £50 from family and friends and I will be doing exactly what you want to do.

We do not need anymore toys etc, My mum, ever the sensible one bought her new underwear and a coat plus a few 'silly bits'. So I am going to take DD shopping over the weekend so she can choose herself some nice new clothes that she wants (and needs) :)

HappyJoyful · 10/01/2013 16:15

YANBU.
Relax and enjoy it, perhaps as other's say, get her something you know she'd love but wouldn't necessarily be your choice or perhaps a 'treat' item from a shop you like but can't always afford..if that makes it easier

DorisIsWaiting · 10/01/2013 16:20

DD's (7, 5 and 3) had money from my DM +D for christmas we are going to a wedding in Feb and so they have bought new dressess for that. (DM knew and quite often buys clothes).

DD's have been overjoyed as they have each had an individual shopping day with me.

YADNBU

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