to refuse to get another kitten unless dd and dp clear up after current cat?

[stormforce10]

In short our otherwise lovely and friendly rescue cat does not like her litter tray and hates going out in the rain so does her business on the landing. DP and DD refuse to clear it up so it always ends up being ME. It does actually make DP physically sick which i've seen and then had to clear up as well on a few occassions but I'm not exactly keen on it myself.

Now they both want a kitten.DDs friends cat has had some and its true they are gorgeous but AIBU to refuse on the basis one eldery cat with incontinence problems and one baby in nappies which i change the majority of is more than enough shit for me.

DD is 7 if that has any bearing on it

yanbu. They need to commit to the current cat first

yanbu I was promised all sorts when we got newdog dont do it they are looking for a fluffy kitten that shit you will still need to clear up, my dds are a lot older than your dd

YANBU

For several reasons:

1. Has DP made any attempt to rectify why the cat wont go in the litterbox? Is it truly that the cat is incontinent? Either way, the smell of wee or poo on the floor may encourage another cat brought into the home to use the same spots to eliminate, then your problem is doubled!

2. Please don't take the cat from your DD's friend. It only encourages irresponsible breeding. There are loads of moggy kittens and cats in shelters already (as you know, you adopted one!), there is no reason to breed any more. Cats should only be bred if there is demand for the kittens (ie they are a breed for which there is a market), and the parents have been health screened, etc. Apologies if DD's friends are in fact responsible breeders, but my guess is they are not. Please don't help keep what they are doing socially acceptable.

As a lifelong cat owner (so know a bit about them) I wouldn't want a 7 year old clearing up cat poo due to the hygiene issues. Though completely appreciate how tiresome and unpleasant it must be for you to have to keep doing this.

I would however be a bit about DP refusing to clear it up unless he has a complete phobia and/or particularly sensitive sense of smell as, to be frank, unless it's a big puddle of diarrhea, swiftly picking it up with your hand inside a nappy bag or with a big wadge of loo paper (and then cleaning the floor afterwards with disinfectant, carpet cleaner etc) shouldn't be that big a deal for a grown man. Especially if he thinks of the cat as his pet too. For example, my partner can take or leave my cats and if it wasn't for me it wouldn't cross his mind to get one. Therefore I usually take full responsibility for them and don't mind doing so - but would feel miffed if he suddenly started taking a much greater interest in them and still didn't do the occasional rotten stuff that's part and parcel of being a pet owner.

Having said that, regardless of whether he pulls his weight and takes his turn re: clearing up I wouldn't get another cat until you'd sorted out the toilet issues first. Presumably the cat goes outside if it's not raining ? ....... so, as you say, she has some issue with her litter tray - as opposed to being incontinent per se ... i.e. hopefully there's not a medical issue here, but more of an environmental one ? Some cats can be really fussy about where the tray's placed - I swear some get embarrassed being "watched" for example. So you might like to try a covered tray, or move existing tray somewhere quiet where there's not a lot of noise, people walking past etc. Some of my cats have also been funny about the litter itself - I had a kitten who kept doing everything on the paper the tray was placed on and after speaking to the cat home she came from found she'd been rather particular there too refusing to use wood based or gravel/clay style litter until they tried (softer) earth. I experimented with various types of litter until I found a shredded paper variety from Tesco which met with madam's approval for her apparently delicate paws!

There will always be kittens - or even carefully selected and introduced older cats - needing homes but I wouldn't take another animal on until you've got to the root of this one's issue or you'll be miserable as inevitably kittens/new cats often have a few accidents anyway. In the meantime though I'd want DP to help more unless you think he's being really genuine (tell him to breathe through his mouth!) and also maybe give DD some more regular (age appropriate) responsibility for the cat like filling up water and food bowls maybe just so she doesn't grow up thinking cats are "easy". I wouldn't want her dealing with the poo but I'd certainly get her fetching me the cleaning equipment if nothing else and that goes for your DP too.

Thank you. The hygeine issues are a good get out for dd that is true. DP I think does ahve a genuine phobia of the stuff as he has been violently sick every time :(

DD does feed the cat which is good

Her friends mum took in a stray which turned out to be pregnant hence the kittens so not breeding them as such

sorry for short answer ds is asleep over my wrists making typ8ing hard

"Her friends mum took in a stray which turned out to be pregnant hence the kittens so not breeding them as such"

That's good to hear :)

I suspect your cat's irregular usage of the litterbox can be rectified (unless a vet has told you she truly has no control) so perhaps get DP reading up on the issue, but catsmother had some good starting advice.

Nope YANBU.

Hygiene is no get out - I make 6 yr old ds pick up dog poo in the garden. Hand inside nappy bag, pick up, tie and bin, wash hands. Just like I have to do.

And tell your dp to put some vicks under his nose first - that'll deal with the smell.

can you put newspaper down on the landing?

and get your DH to wear a mask.

YANBU. And also, it sounds like your rescue cat is already a bit skittish so introducing a new cat is perhaps not the best plan anyway!

As someone said above, cats and litter trays are funny. You can try moving its location to somewhere very private (this very often helps apparently), getting a covered one, but then you REALLY do have to keep it clean since the poor cat has to go into close quarters to do do and try changing the litter you are using.

There is a lady who writes as 'the cat detective' who has some great ideas about this sort of stuff. I bought one of her books before getting our two cats, and many of her ideas are really sensible.

i used to work in a cattery; they regularly had cats who refused to use a litter tray, we used to put a hand full of compost on top of the catlitter and 9/10 cats started to use the tray ~ something to do with the smell of soil apparently......
but yanbu to not have another, if the 'pleasant' work would be yours, you should get final say....

What would dh do if you weren't there?

YANBU btw!

A new kitten might traumatise your rescue cat.

Cats tend to be very fussy about their waste, so if yours isn't using its litter tray then you need to work out why. Is the litter tray covered over? Mine much prefer the privacy of a covered tray. Also, is it somewhere that's busy or windy? Or near its food?

To stop it from continuing to go on the landing, try this. Lots of cats continue on the same patch as they can still smell it. This spray works well in my experience, and it stopped my one from weeing just outside her box.

I wouldn't get a new kitten until your current cat is happy and stable.

A kitten would be easy to litter train but the old cat may be further upset by the introduction of a kitten so I would use that as the rationale for not getting a kitten.
Re the old cat I'd move a litter tray surrouded by newspaper onto the landing ad once cat is confident with it there move the tray gradually to a more acceptable place.A litter tray on the landing is a lot better than crap on the carpet.