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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To be weary of homework which involves parental input

110 replies

SilverBellsandCockleShells · 10/01/2013 12:55

My son is eight. He's in year 4. I've just received his homework schedule for the term. It includes things like 'cook a simple meal', 'make a model of x', 'design a pattern using rice, etc', 'research xyz on the internet'. Things that, although I like to consider he's a bright child, there is absolutely no way he can achieve without parental input.

Don't get me wrong. I know that we as parents play a role in his education too and we educate him in all sorts of ways outside school. But projects which involve children of this age producing models, etc. invariably end up completed by the parents. There are two options, either you give the child the materials, sit back, watch him make a mess of it, pat him on the back and resign yourself to another low mark, or you get stuck in, 'help' and produce something which may get a better mark but isn't actually his work.

AIBU to think that it is unfair to expect parental input on this level? That the arts and crafts should remain in the classroom and homework, if assigned at all, should be something which requires parental supervision to ensure it is done, but no actual parental input? Or am I being a great big meanie who resents the fact that she is actually a bit pants at crafts and can't hope to produce results like the alpha mummies who spend hours doing their children's homework while they are at school!

OP posts:
3birthdaybunnies · 10/01/2013 17:08

I actually really like craft, as do my dc, BUT I hate being told by a teacher which craft my dc should be doing. The weekends before Christmas I had planned to do lots of Christmasy stuff, but instead ended up running around town through Christmas shoppers trying to find plasticine for dd1's tropical reef.

For the meal I would get your ds to choose a microwave curry, teach him how to read the label, put holes in film etc and cook it. You can put the cardboard sleeve in as evidence!

My dc are fairly busy with other activities so homework is a pain. Would be fine if they had a full week, but no some is set Monday to be in on Thursday, grrr. Hope you enjoy the rice OP!

Miggsie · 10/01/2013 17:09

I have friends who sit each night with their child taking up to 2 hours to do homework - DD spends 20 mins if she hasn't finished I just write she did 20 mins and that is as far as she got. If she has something better to do (such as sports) I write she was at sports.
Then DD gets the help she needs in class, from the teacher based on the 20 mins.

I don't think homework is there to show the extent of parental education!

Sabriel · 10/01/2013 17:16

We get "suggestions" for a project each term. One of the suggestions for last term was "make a model of the Houses of Parliament". Confused DD is 5.

I decided that we actually had too much to do and the project didn't happen. Grin

YorkshireDeb · 10/01/2013 17:23

Can I politely suggest that any parent who has an issue with homework either goes to have a non confrontational chat with the teacher or write a quick note along the lines of "x didn't have time to complete this homework. Please let me know if this is a problem." Most teachers (I know not all!) are not sadistic bitches who are on a mission to impinge on/ruin your quality family time. We set homework because we have to & we hate it too. We try our best to pick the type of homework that parents will be happy with, but know full well no matter what we choose some people will not like it. I reckon if everyone who posted on here spoke to the teacher about it (note- spoke, not shouted), 90% of you would get a result you were happy with. X

KatieScarlett2833 · 10/01/2013 17:31

My worst one was to make a Viking longship that was capable of sailing as the point was to race it. DD was 7 at the time so not really au fait with the mechanics of boat-building in the Viking era. I said no way, DH was up to 2am ......Wink

LifeIsBetterInFlipFlops · 10/01/2013 17:32

YANBU, my 5 year old had to do a PowerPoint!!!! Clearly I had to help him.
He also has reading, tables, spellings and comprehension....it takes hours as he is too young to do it alone.
Whilst I like knowing what he is doing, the quantity is crazy.
I asked the Head about the PowerPoint, he said it was a way to involve parents and fine as long as the child was involved in compiling it and could present the contents.

3birthdaybunnies · 10/01/2013 17:47

Yorkshire if my 7 yr old doesn't finish her homework then she has to do it in her break time - not sure whether that extends to making reefs though :)

YorkshireDeb · 10/01/2013 18:32

3birthdaybunnies - sorry to hear that. I agree it's completely unreasonable to keep children in at break for not doing homework. X

expatinscotland · 10/01/2013 18:39

I have already lodged this issue with the head. I refuse homework for my P3 child. It causes no end of frustration, arguments, tears and trials and did with her elder sister, who is now deceased. I wish I had forgone it sooner.

Evenings are for family time, activities DD2 has chosen, learning we chose to do together. NOT an extension of school. I don't believe in homework until secondary school.

KateF · 10/01/2013 18:41

I actually ended up in tears last term when faced with the latest requirement for dd3(8) to construct an Egyptian chariot. We had just made an Egyptian temple, dd (11 with SEN) had a massive project including cooking an Indian meal and dd1(13) had to design and build a model festival.

Together with all the Christmas stuff, being a lone parent now and working 30 hours a week plus commute I just couldn't face it. We did manage to make one and dd3 did most of it but no-one enjoyed those projects much so what was the point?

expatinscotland · 10/01/2013 18:53

These projects sounds ridiculous!

mojitomo · 10/01/2013 18:59

YANBU op - i''ve got 3 children at primary school - so far we've made a medieval castle and a scottish crofthouse. Last straw for me was being asked to make another castle (for ds this time) in 7 days in the few weeks before xmas! These projects should be done in class (if at all) - by the teacher & kids together.The models end up being made by the parents - and we've got better things to do at the weekends than this nonsense!
Am dreading the victorian hallway and the WWII air raid shelter!

AnnaRack · 10/01/2013 19:20

Yanbu. Teachers can tell if the homework was done by the parents. So what's the point - there has to be some educational value in it for the child.

SE13Mummy · 10/01/2013 19:22

As a KS2 teacher I'm not a fan of adult-led homework and, as the parent of a KS2 DC (and nursery-aged one) I'm not a fan of it either.

I rarely set compulsory homework for my class although I do expect them to do some reading every day. Over the years I've sent home maths sheets (the ones used in class, not new ones) so parents can see what their DC have been working on rather than to complete and have set a half-termly 'learning log' task e.g. 'find out about your favourite author'. This homework has always been optional and I've made it very clear that the children work hard at school so time at home is for playing, relaxing, spending time as a family etc. etc.

What this approach means is that parents who are eager for their children to spend family time completing maths sheets can do that (but using methods and examples that fit with the school-based learning) and parents/children who want to further explore the term's topic have a focus for that exploration and an opportunity for public recognition of their creations . I've had library books brought in, print outs from Wikipedia, 3D habitats complete with tadpoles, powerpoint presentations, posters, board games, lego models, drawings, mind maps, bits of tree sap, leaflets and all sorts brought in by children as their 'learning logs'. Others have brought in nothing. Fine by me!

The only time I set compulsory homework is if a child actively chooses not to get their work done during school time - they get to take it home for their parents to supervise. I do that in consultation with the parents, obviously, and only after the child has already had the opportunity to get the work done during lunchtime.

fluffyraggies · 10/01/2013 19:28

We did the Hanging Gardens of Babylon through the medium of cake. love it Grin

Youngest DC is still at school, older ones are now at college or work. By far the thing i miss least about their younger days is the model building homework AND - bloody costume days!

World book day -

Eldest was easy, she was/is the spit of Hermione Granger - crimped hair, my black silky robe, and a twig for a wand - done :)

Worst moment, however, was DD2 aged apx 7 coming down the stairs all sleepy eyed at 9.30pm one evening to remind me everyone had to go into schhool in their bird costumes the next day for the class parade Shock First i'd heard of it Confused and - she was signed up for coming as an owl. A white owl. Like Hedwig ShockShockShock

I was up till 1am - i did it - but was so stressed i've never forgotten it.

ledkr · 10/01/2013 19:28

Re lodging a complaint. I was asked in by the head for. Ticking off about homework he thought his suggestion of twenty minutes a night was reasonable but failed to listen to for example Tuesday nights dd is at dancing already when I come home at six. I then bath baby put her in pjs go out to get dd and drop her at guides then put baby to bed eat and get neighbour in to sit with baby whilst I go back out to get dd at 8.30.
Any suggestions where I find 20 mind then?
Apparently dd is not meeting targets. Correct me if I'm wrong but isn't that his problem to sort?

AnnaRack · 10/01/2013 19:29

Mojitomo my dd made an air raid shelter, it took about 3 hours! She was happy to join in the making but we had to "direct" the project, wbich makes you wonder what the point of it is?

ledkr · 10/01/2013 19:36

Oh yes over the years.
Roman dress and packed lunch.
Gas mask box evacuee costume and wartime packed lunch.
World book day.
Numerous cake sales.
At the moment the diary of an evacuee.
This on top of daily homework and well.....life.

ledkr · 10/01/2013 19:37

fluffy not as bad as dd bursting into my bedroom in a purple party dress and heels saying "it's mufti day today"

LineRunner · 10/01/2013 20:13

YorkshireDeb Sadly I have only ever had negativity back from class teachers over queries about homework.

I refused to do the model of the motte and bailey. Twice. We wrote an illustrated essay instead each time. Other ridiculously pointless, impractical or expensive homework refusnik-ness has resulted in DCs being given detention. Says more about the school that about my family, I reckon.

whathasthecatdonenow · 10/01/2013 20:14

You can't win as a school. We just did a parental survey that was split almost equally between 'don't get enough homework' and 'get too much homework'. I'd rather it all buggered off, tbh, I've got too much marking as it is.

Taffeta · 10/01/2013 20:25

I don't have a problem with homework that the DC can do themselves, at all. In fact, I like it.

I also don't mind homework where they can ask questions and we can have a discussion.

Where I get pissed off is when it is something big, either art craft based or Internet research led, that parents have to have significant involvement in, so it ends up not really being the child's ok at all. Pointless.

Taffeta · 10/01/2013 20:25

Child's work not child's ok.

LineRunner · 10/01/2013 20:27

I think parents who say 'Don't get enough homework' probably mean 'Don't get enough homework that we know about, understand, and has some value e.g. some interesting maths that leads to a set of answers on a piece of paper that is of tangible benefit'.

'Too much homework' usually means 'Crap and impractical projects, and Death-By-Badly-Xeroxed-Worksheets'.

whathasthecatdonenow · 10/01/2013 20:32

Well I have to follow school policy, which of course allows for no autonomy for the supposed professional in front of the class. All of our homework is pre-printed into the children's planners at the start of the year.

You will never please all parents - homework is perhaps the biggest issue that splits parental opinion. Parental consultation evenings reveal the differences. Lots of parents want homework that they can get involved with their children in, others would rather not.

I am very thankful for the massive amounts of homework I got when I was at school. It prepared me for being a teacher!