To be sick of negativity all the time?

[forgetmenots]

Probably am being a tad U. But I'm absolutely sick to death of negative comments about pregnancy/labour/kids ever since I announced I was pregnant.

Trying not to be too sensitive and I really am not moaning about my pregnancy or anything to friends, relatives or colleagues, but all of them seem to delight in telling you the worst birth story they know, or the most difficult baby. I even had one colleague tell me about a stillborn baby in the context of her asking when my next scan was. It's got to the point where I don't really want to talk babies except with people I know really well because I dread what is coming next!

Can't people either allow ignorance to be bliss, balance out the good with the bad or simply shut their faces? Or AIBU?

My advice is smile and ignore, there will be a few people who think they have the right to tell you all sorts. Lady in a lift said to me once "Ah, due soon I see" I had 4 months to go! Just have to let it wash over you.

Am pregnant again now and so far not many comments. I have a dd and am pregnant with a DS so I am expecting them to roll in soon with what I have heard on here!

Congratulations on your pregnancy and all the best. :)

There are only two sorts of births - the ones from hell and the shelling peas ones - no one ever has a normal strightforward birth

Shelling peas one?

Unfortunately it is par of the course, I'm afraid.

For what it is worth, I adored being pregnant. I'd love to give birth again. Breastfeeding was straight forward. And for every moment DS makes my want to tear my hair out, there are ten that make me want to smoother him in kisses.

Yes but its also fuck off smuggery when they go..

'I had the easiest birth in the world....My baby is an angel and slept thru from the 1st night, I didnt put ANY weight on...."

Just fuck off and let me be fat and sleep deprived and struggle to get over the birth

Well here's a positive one for you....

Although I didn't have the most straightforward birth (started bleeding at about 5cm dilated so then had to be monitored, was then given syntocin to speed things up, 2.5 hour pushing stage finished off with a ventose) it was FINE, nowhere near as traumatic as it sounds and the gas & air was amazing. I would give birth again tomorrow even though it hurt quite a lot and I ended up in hugely undignified positions! (DH said the pooing reminded him of a play doh factory )

DS then struggled to bf for the first week, lost 12% of his birth weight, I was expressing all feeds and cup feeding them as he couldn't latch on, then he latched on with nipple shields which we used for 4 weeks until he weaned off them. This was the worst bit but still, we managed and every moment of hell was made up for with 10 moments of loveliness.

He was fairly typical with waking to start off with, but slept through by 5 months (ish).

Although there have been moments when I have wanted to -and have- hidden in the understairs cupboard because I can't take his crying/lack of naps/constant feeding, I wouldn't change having a baby for a second - DS is 1 in 8 weeks and I just have no idea where the time has gone, but I have had the most wonderful year even though it's not all being plain sailing.

HTH - ignore the pessimists and scare mongers.

Shelling peas - pops out, your home in time for Blue Peter, rustling up a cous cous and lentil salad.

You need to find new people to talk to! It's horrible when negative people spoil something that is happy and positive. Ignore them.

Women's hour the day I got my bfp was about how there's a 'conspiracy of silence about how awful and hard motherhood really is'!!! - thanks!
All I seem to hear is that I'll never have a life again and I'll be in sleep deprived agony for weeks months
If its that awful then why do people do it again more often than not?

I found that negative people helped me go into it expecting the worst, then it was easy in comparison to what I was expecting :)

Aw ignore the bastards. I had it too, and then when you're pg with dc2 it's all the horror stories of two bring so much harder than one, etc etc.

FWIW I loved labour (even though it bloody hurt, it was the most amazing thing in the whole wide world) and you get through stitches/pain/bf/mastitis etc etc because that little person is worth it a million times over. Fact.

IME what can make it harder in the early days is enduring the sleep deprivation etc. and not lowering your standards with other aspects of your life.

If you're planning on BF then plan 6 weeks of sitting on the sofa watching TV in your PJ's.

Accept now that you will be doing the absolute bare minimum of housework, prepare your partner if you have one so that they know they will have to do lots of cooking/cleaning etc., do not start ironing your newborns clothes (yes I know someone who did this!!). Some days it will be midday before you get to brush your teeth. This doesn't last even though at the time it feels like it goes on forever. I thing if you don't prepare yourself for some serious slobbing and slatternly ways for a few months then it can be a shock to the system.

I read MN when I was pg and accepted that lots of things/standards I was used to would go out of the window for a while. It made the hard sleep deprived, constant BF days SO SO much easier knowing it was fine to be in bed watching TV with my newborn all day.

Thanks all, nice to know I'm not being totally mad! Some good points being made actually about preparing for the worst and smugness, trying not to let it get to me but on my more tired hormonal days, it does.

I hereby pledge I will not do this to a pregnant woman after I have DCs.