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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

If your friend wanted to call their daughter Lily

132 replies

Vagaceratops · 08/01/2013 22:16

(totally outing myself here but ho hum)

And they thought that the spelling Lille was really nice, would you point out that that is a place in France and the pronunciation was different?

Or would you leave it and let them find out on their own?

OP posts:

HenryCrun · 09/01/2013 00:24

"Horrible OP,

God forbid anyone should give their child a name/spelling you don't like.

Don't send them a text or email, tell them to their face. I doubt you'll have any occasion thereafter to spell or pronounce the child's name again.

Problem solved."

I was a bit baffled by this. Having a difficult name has caused me problems , and it's not about to get any better. Why is it so absolutely appalling to question this ill-advised choice of name?

Lovecat · 09/01/2013 00:29

A friend of a friend, who I see at kid's parties, has a daughter called Rayleigh. She got quite... well, not exactly huffy, but verging on it when I asked if she had been named after the town in Essex. I don't think she was even aware of the place's existence til then...

I would tell them before the child is born/gets to the registry.

Boomerwang · 09/01/2013 00:43

HenryCrun he/she/it is obviously a berk and doesn't understand what the OP is about.

SquinkiesRule · 09/01/2013 00:50

Don't these people google the name to see what pops up before choosing it?
I send her the link to the incontinence pads and tell her that she might want to re think the spelling.

Startail · 09/01/2013 01:02

Also my dyslexic DD1 would hate her, all those upper and lower case things with and without a dot, Help!

DD was in Y5 if not 6 before she got the right names and sounds for L and I.
Also in a non serif font like this iPhone capital I and small l are exactly the same, lots of tablets have toggle keyboards too, it's very confusing.
I fear a child would type LIllIe or lliie very easily.

squoosh · 09/01/2013 01:18

God I'd definitely tell her.

'Lille? Oh that's lovely (lie), but you know what, I bet you most people will pronounce it Leel like the French town of the same name. Why don't you just stick with Lily. It'll save her a lot of hassle.'

A couple of weeks later you can have the conversation that every other girl born in the last 4 years has been called Lily and it's this generation's Sharon/Michelle/Lisa

Alisvolatpropiis · 09/01/2013 01:35

Don't understand pp saying you are "horrible" OP.

Lille will be pronounced Leel rather than Lih-lee because it is wrong.

Your friends clearly aren't very worldly. If it was my friend I would mention it. Think of their little Lille spending her life correcting people "no,no it is Lily". Poor child.

Original poster

Vagaceratops · 09/01/2013 07:31

Thanks for those people who actually read the thread.

I will tell her gently today. She is lovely so I dont want to upset her.

OP posts:

redexpat · 09/01/2013 08:21

It's also the danish for little.

RedToothbrush · 09/01/2013 08:48

Your friends are thick as pig shit.

Sorry.

Quirky spellings of names are not cute, not different and not unique. They make both the kid and the parents look thick. And given how many preconceptions just your name can give they need to be told. It can have implications for applications for things like university and for jobs and has been proven in various studies.

Tell them, for the sake of the poor kid. If you loose a friend of it, at least you know you've tried to do something in the best interests of the kid, not to be a miserable cow raining on their parade as other people on this thread seem to be suggesting.

mrsjay · 09/01/2013 08:51

so she is going to call her daughter 'leel' am i reading that right that is what Lile sounds like, daft name and although I might not say anything it is just a name but leel

mrsjay · 09/01/2013 08:52

(brest)

when we visited the aquatic place there I swear my dds were going to pass out with laughing so much , we are going to breast {hehe}

Thewhingingdefective · 09/01/2013 08:58

Does it really matter if name spellings change and evolve?

Personally I am not taken with Lille as the spelling for Lily, but there are worse crimes. I wouldn't say anything to the friend. If they like that spelling, they may be hurt or offended if it is criticised.

diddl · 09/01/2013 08:59

I agree I would say "aren´t you bothered that most will mispronounce?"

Is it at all possible to get Lily from Lille without being told that´s how to say it?

mrsjay · 09/01/2013 09:01

I suppose the spelling is like the upteen ways people spell Amy , dd1 went to school with loads of AMy's and 5 of them spelt them different,

Moominsarehippos · 09/01/2013 09:01

Why are they spelling it like that? Its a simple, beautiful name. Why mess with a traditional spelling, unless they have a weird pronuncion for it.

TiggyD · 09/01/2013 09:04

The child will have her name spelt wrong (correctly) all her life. Lots of hassle for the poor girl.

Psammead · 09/01/2013 09:07

This reminds me of a conversation I had with a now-ex friend. I asked her what she was going to call her child if it were a boy. She replied 'Zeen'. We're in Germany, by the way. I commented on how nice it is, and quite unusual. She laughed and said 'why unusual? It's British!' I wracked my brains and she said 'You know, like the James Bond actor. Zeen Correrry or whatever'. Realisation dawned - 'You mean.. Sean Connery?'. 'Oh.'

Tell her. We are ex-friends for other reasons, not because of Zeen.

mrsjay · 09/01/2013 09:10

oh dear was your friend a bit thick in other ways psmmaed

MrsMelons · 09/01/2013 09:11

I think it is good that you are going to say something as it will be a nightmare for the child and also the mum may just not realise.

At the pre-school I was involved in we had so many names spelt in random ways and occassionally they would be spelt incorrectly by accident (because they were made up spellings and in a rush staff may forget). The parents actually get quite nasty about it!

I tried to make my DS2's name the easiest spelling of 4 legitimate ways to spell it but people still get it wrong, I don't get too worried as we chose it knowing that it may happen but it genuinely is spelt correctly.

Psammead · 09/01/2013 09:14

Mrsjay, she really, really was. I get on with most types of people, but she really was too stupid to like. And it manifested itself in all kinds of bigotry. She hated foreigners, for one thing... She actually told me this. Her foreign friend. And I got judgey about her in all kinds of ways which would get me flamed on mn.

ItsIcyOutsideIThinkINeedThorin · 09/01/2013 09:19

Agree that there are lots of different ways of spelling names like Amy (Aimee, Aimee etc) but they are all at least pronounced Amy! There is no conceivable way that Lille could be pronounced as Lily.

ZombiesAreClammyDodgers · 09/01/2013 09:20

If you are SURE that she actually doesn't want it pronounced Leel (which she might) then worth mentioning in one of those casual ways people above have suggested.
Who cares if there is some niche product in the market with the same name.
But after your having brought it up once, it's their own business what they want to name her.

realcoalfire · 09/01/2013 09:20

I know some 'Elle' s who are pronounced Ellie so I am not sure what the difference is.I'd stay out of it .I a sure there will some language/dialect somewhere in the world that would pronouce it Lily

ItsIcyOutsideIThinkINeedThorin · 09/01/2013 09:20

Oops, I didn't mean to spell Aimee the same way twice there :o

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