to be fed up with everyone being pregnant / babies babies everywhere

[LaraLo2012]

Ok so that thread title is a bit harsh and no doubt I will get flamed for it no offence intended as I do like babies and I am thrilled for all the pregnant ladies / new mothers out there.

However I am just finding it hard at the moment as everywhere I go it's babies, babies, babies and more babies.

All the other girls of my age group at work are off on maternity leave (with those left behind in the office working double hard to cover them......) and are constantly posting pics of their babies on Facebook and writing how great maternity leave is. The other women who are back at work all have young kids and talk about them all the time. Even the blokes at work are talking about babies too as several of their wives are expecting and they spend all day looking at buggies online or talking about painting the nursery......

Outside of work most of my good friends are either TTC, pregnant or have babies and if I dare to log on to Facebook it is just babies after babies after more babies. It feels like everyone I know has given birth over the last few months.

I know its the norm, as I am in my early 30s.

I have tried to take up a few new interests, so I actually have a few things to do / people to talk to about something other than babies, but obviously I cannot avoid it altogether when it's all my best friends and everyone at work. Even when I went to the gym at the weekend it was full of mothers and babies for some mother and baby swim class.

Due to my personal circumstances, I am not going to be joining the 'baby club' in the forseeable future and am also very undecided as to whether I actually want to have kids myself (although that's another thread!) so its not as though I am bitter or jealous or anything.

As I say above, really so happy for everyone and their lovely big tummies and bouncing babies, but AIBU to be finding this all a bit much?!

Abs

I must admit that since having a baby she's all I seem to be able to talk about My world is so small now, having to stay at home and look after her, that I don't know much else to talk about!

Possibly OP your mistake is posting this in AIBU.

Entering your 30s unleashes a myriad of weird feelings about children and babies. You think you want them, then you don't, then you get pissed off with your hitherto fun friends suddenly not being as fun any more, then you want babies again, then you don't, then you go through denial and think that ALL children are a pain in the arse, the you google "Is 35 too old for your first baby" and find your way onto MN and find out it's not all about nappies and BFing and can be a fun place to hang out then suddenly you have been TTC for three years with no success. I have every, every sympathy.

It's a bit off that someone questioned her presence on the site .

I didn't question her presence. I said it's a strange place to rant about her dislike of pregnant women and babies. Read properly before you go next time.

Ah, but you see I didn't see any ranting. She just said she's finding it a bit much. Hence the face.

HTH.

I totally agree with the OP, endless baby talk in a non-baby environment (an office where there are a lot of other things one is paid for supposed to be going on for instance) IS annoying and distracting, and when you go to a gym you pay a lot of money for, its really annoying when your changing area is taken over with babies and mothers talking baby and mother things when they are in many cases not even members of that gym!

Obviously the topic will come up and its not realistic that babies never get mentioned once they have been had.

When I had my children I did make an effort not to become a baby bore outside of the "circle" which in my case was mainly NCT group and baby groups I chose to join. I am on facebook and I was particularly keen not to have all my status updates (I only do a couple a week) or photos about my baby or child. Sometimes I couldn't think of anything else to say which to me was a sign that I needed something else going on in my life so I got a hobby one night a week! I had an unwritten rule in my head that I would never do 2 child related posts in a row and I still don't - I have a big mixed bag of friends on facebook and I didn't want to be that baby bore.

So I really do see both sides of it - the topic is pretty boring unless you are in the club, and just because you don't like hearing about it doesn't mean you are jealous!

But it's ok to have to listen to everyone else's nights out/what they watched on TV/sex life/meal plans/general shite in the office where we're all being paid to work, but I mustn't mention my children? I didn't btw, there were only 2 of us that had children so we talked to each other. But my God, the rubbish I've had to try to tune out over the years.

having been staunchly childfree since I was 19

Lottapianos and OP - you have wandered into the wrong website. MN is for people like, er, Mums, so you won't get much sympathy here. Durrr....

The last post is wondering dangerously into the "Why are non-mums on MN?" territory.

And last time I looked, there were a few dads too.

WANdering rather than wondering, sorry.

also there might be people who do have kids but can sympathise with other viewpoints... yes I have kids and totally sympathise. Obviously babies and pregnancy are probably marginally more interesting to me than to you, but it still doesn't mean I want to talk about it all the time or to see endless details of other people's babies on Facebook etc.

Part of the reason I like MN is that there are so many other topics to talk about as well! I like reading about history and researching my family tree. I regularly go swimming with my child free brother and talk about his business and his adventure holidays . I joined a book group so as to regularly get out and talk to other adults about something that isn't my kids/ family.

If even I, with a young family and heavily pregnant, can manage to find some child free time, I'm sure you can too.

Oh and when (pre kids) I once told my Granny that I was feeling a bit left behind because several of my friends had had babies, she replied,

'wait until your friends start dying, dear, then you'll be worried'!

Ha your granny sounds great Limeleaf.

I don't have kids and am on MN. Currently for Richard Armitage-discussing purposes! Surely it makes it more interesting to have a variety of different types of people on here?

And basically it's the only forum where you can get such fast, well-written replies.

Your colleagues need to be doing some work don't they?

Also in early 30s and everyone is having babies (although I'm a midwife so it probably feels even more like that). I can sympathise with the feeling that the rest of the world has entered a club that you haven't.

Parenthood is also a status symbol, having a baby is widely considered to make you an adult. So it can feel like not only are you not in the club but you're not even a proper adult.

As for why go on Mumsnet when you don't have kids, FFS that argument has been going on for years. There are surely thousands of reasons. (I have lurked since 2000 and signed up whenever they changed the layout so I could stick to classic)about 20% of Mumsnet is actually about parenting and as is clear from all the threads about 'old bags' in the supermarket, it is not only parents who have opinions on parenting.

It sounds as though the green eyed monster is at play here.
You say you are generally happy about the current baby boom etc, but if you were entirely happy there wouldn't be a thread here would there?
I'm guessing theres a tinsy to medium chance you wish it was you, but the chance just isn't there at the moment or you are putting it on hold all though deep down it's a baby you yurn for?
Never put off something your heart truly desires, you only live once!

I have to agree that mums net Is a seriously random place to come and moan about pregnant mums mothers and babies - IMO most of the people on here who dont have them are TTC them!

When I was on mat leave I knew work was a mess & they were short but that was my managers fault not mine - he had plenty of notice for Christ sake, I didn't just say oh next week I'm having a baby off I pop he knew 32 weeks before the event!

Look at it another way round - I sometimes get fed up of my younger Facebook friends moaning about hangovers & being tired & putting their pics of nights out! But I certainly wouldn't whinge about them or change my situation for the world. Babies do take over everything, & become their parents works & rightly so.

I felt like this about all my work friends getting married at one point.... But it was because I wanted to be married!

X

but thisis mumsnet,ifyou dont have kids/bump/desire to have children then why are you on here?-genuine question?

There are lots of non-parents on here - that part's not weird or odd. But if you're actively sick of parents and pregnancy and babies and children, this is a slightly weird place to choose to hang out. And moan about same.

In fact, I'd venture the fact that you're even on here belies your true feelings on the subject.

Before we made a decision to start a family and TCC, I didn't even notice pregnancies or babies at all, because it just wasn't on my radar. Or if I did, it was to maybe feel a bit sorry for the (inevitably) Mums being stuck in while everyone else was out, living it up. I was having too much fun being responsibility free.

I think the lady doth protest too much.

Well in your OP you say you are finding it hard.

Why?

Boring I could understand if you just aren´t interested.

No YANBU.

I have several children and was the first of my friends to start a family so I'm not in the same position at all.

I can totally understand how you could feel overwhelmed and left out and perhaps a little bored by the conversation! Even I get bored by it sometimes.

My friends/ family in a similar position have:

-Thrown themselves into work, gone for promotions, extra qualifications, etc
-Taken up hobbies outside of work/ current friendship groups
-Socialised more with the diminishing group of single/ childless people that they already knew.

Just for you to consider, on the other side of the coin, I found that some of my friends seemed less keen to stay in touch with me after I started a family. I expect they thought that I wasn't as exciting and wasn't free to socialise in the same way. I was never one to talk incessantly about my DC as I realise that this is pretty boring for others but perhaps they didn't want to hear at all. Obviously, I found this hurtful at the time as I was still the same person as prior to having children.