to think that this 'joke' by ex-h is really not funny at all

[Moominlandmidwinter]

I dropped DDs 1 and 2 off at their panto dress rehearsal earlier. As DH is at work with the car, we had to go by foot. Normally, ex-h would go out of his way to make things as difficult as possible, but as panto didn't finish until 8.15pm, he agreed to pick DDs (his children) up and drop them home. Otherwise it would mean that they would have a fairly long walk home with me, and they're back at school tomorrow, and need to be in bed reasonably early.

After coming out of the theatre at 6.30, I saw ex-h driving past me. Fair enough, he'd decided to watch the rehearsal. When DDs got home, the first thing they said to me was that ex-h told them that he'd seen me, and tried to run me over. Now I fully expect him to make twattish jokes like this to his few and far between mates, but DDs are only 11 and 9, and both quite sensitive.

Not only that, but the knobhead picked them up from school when the broke up, and I've only just had their school bags back. Complete with lunchboxes containing half-eaten mouldy food. Nice.

What a horrible thing to say, to anyone, but especially your children. Has he always been that awful? I'm sorry for you that he's in your life.

Yes, he's always been that awful, especially since I left him 7 1/2 years ago. It's no wonder he hasn't managed to get a girlfriend since! I really wish he wasn't in my life. It's good for the girls (in a way!) that he does have them three nights a week, but not so good for me!

good forr the girls? really? with comments like that he could do serious harm. not a joke at all.

Well I am starting to wonder myself! They obviously told me that while it was still fresh in their minds, but didn't seem particularly shocked about it. I've always encouraged them to see him, as there are an awful lot of fathers who don't bother, but I'm starting to think there might be a lot of similar comments. He just can't let the fact that I left him go.

He sounds horrible and lazy. What an odd thing to say (tried to run you over) to an 11 and 9 year old. If your DDs repeat this at school you find SS knocking on your door out of concern. He needs to engage his brain before he speaks. He might think he is being funny but no-one else does, least of all your DDs.

^should say you might find...

the kids wernt shocked because he was having a laugh and they knew that I assume, as for the school bags who hasn't forgot to empty them at some point

Oh yes, let's all pretend that joking about killing your mother isn't emotional abuse.

If I forget to empty my kid's lunchboxes, I don't expect someone else to do it for me.

Minimise male entitlement and abusive behaviour why don't you sparkleyangel.

He didn't TRY to run her over and he didn't tell the kids he was trying to kill her and if you forgot to empty the kids lunch boxes (it happens) why wouldn't their other parent do it. Male entitlement and abusive behaviour, she calls him a knob head there's obviously history and things get blown up out of context. If he really is the twa*t shes making him out to be why is he having them three nights a week. You have to remember there are two sides to every story.

Sparkleyangel - the op ex-h is messing with their DDs heads so yeah he is a bit of a twat. Telling your 9 and 11 year old daughters that you tried to run over their mother is not normal.

That is so nasty. Your DD's shouldn't have to hear things like that.
It sounds exactly like something my dad would have said about my mum.

When I was 14 I got hit by a car. A few months later he dropped me off somewhere and as I was walking around the front of the car to the pavement, he deliberately jolted the car forward to scare me I had to go home I was really shaken up.

She said on the one hand the kids were sensitive but on the other they didn't seemed bothered by it so it sounds like a mix of retelling to me not messing with their heads. The kids heads are more likely to be messed up by the obvious resentment/dislike of each other between the parents than anything else, kids pick up on these things.

Sparklyangel- he really is knob head, but I do my best not to say things about him in front of the girls, and wouldn't dream of making 'jokes' about wishing to harm him. Incidentally, he did run over my foot with his car two years ago. The point about the thread is yes, I know it was meant as a joke, but it's a totally inappropriate one probably better saved for adults who are nothing to do with me, not my own children!

I didn't say that they weren't bothered, I said they weren't shocked. There is a difference.

Horrid, horrid man.
He sounds like a complete loser, especially carrying around all that resentment from 7.5 years ago!
Sorry, I have no advice, just wanted to say how horrible he sounds.

Why would someone want to make excuses for him?

It's just not something a decent adult would say.

If you think it is, you move in undesirable company