AIBU to be feeling very very relieved and happy that I am going back to part time

[5dcsinneedofacleaner]

Dh and I run a business.We have 5 dcs (8,6,3,2, and 11 months) After dc5 turned 7 months I started working pretty much full time in that business but because of the children being here I was at home working and evenings. It has been a nightmare pretty much everything has suffered, the house is a tip I have had probably an hour or two a day to spend with the children, I cant figure out how to fit cooking in and tbh I have felt totally overwhelmed to the point of losing my temper more. DH has been miserable because things are normally under control and organized whereas lately its been a case of every man for himself.

SO DH and I talked and decided the best thing was to hire someone else to do my role for 3 days a week with me working the remaining 2. Obviously it means paying out for someone else BUT I am SO excited and just relieved I feel as though a weight has been lifted. DH is looking forward (according to him) to things being a little more relaxed.

All great BUT so many people mostly family have commented on how I have "failed" at working and how I get stressed at dealing with things that Im starting to think they are right. Am I being pathetic? should I just have tried harder? Obviously it will affect us financially me not being there
so now I am feeling torn between excitement and being ashamed of failure.

SO AIBU to be excited and relieved? or should I be feeling the failure of the whole thing?

YANBU. Running a business with 5 kids? I take my hat off to you. Enjoy your new found time and forget about what other people say so long as you, the kids and your dh are pleased at the new plan.

Bloody hell, tell all of these people to bugger off! How rude they are. You have 5 (5!) children, a home, and a family business to take care of. The only people who should express any opinion as to how you and your DH take care of these things are you and your DH.

But..., do make sure that you consider this properly - e.g. What if you and your DH both go down to 0.8, and employ someone for 0.5? Or some other variation. You're the bosses, the advantage us that you should be able to do what you'd like to do.

Failed?!

I love people who say things like that. They are probably older women who had an easy job for a couple of hours a week and two kids...

Sounds like a good plan to me. Ignore everyone and do what is right for you and your family.

Ignore other people - you're doing what's right for you & your family. YANBU

I couldn't manage full time with only twins and I was employed, not running a business as well as 5 children. I really can't see how you could be seen as "failed".

You definitely haven't failed. In fact you've probably done yourself and everyone a favour as you'll be less stressed and can enjoy focusing more on stuff at home. I've got 4 DC's and took on more paid work last year. It was part-time but I was working every day. It started off OK but after about 6 months everything started falling to bits and after 10 months I got quite ill and had to stop work. It was too much.

Having a large family is wonderful but very exhausting and nobody should underestimate how much effort has to be put in just to make it all run smoothly. You say that you're excited and relieved to have made that decision and those are legitimate feelings. Enjoy having that time back and don't think of yourself as a failure. It sounds like some members of your family are very unsupportive - best to ignore them.