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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To hate hate hate the CSA!!!

31 replies

elizadofuckall · 07/01/2013 14:33

Long story short, have had a claim ongoing since 2007 and he has never paid. I have just received a call from the CSA telling me that they have now made a NIL assessment for the ENTIRE period as he has told them that he has been living off of friends until 2011 and then went self employed and has been making a loss since then.

So living off of fresh air for the entire time and they said they cant prove any different so have made a nil assessment!!!!!

I have told them to close the case and to cease all contact with me as they enrage me more than the non payment!!!!!

Needed to vent!!!!

OP posts:
Thelifeofpie · 07/01/2013 14:56

YANBU. But i'm not sure what else they can do. It seems to me that it doesn't work for either party sadly.

lazarusb · 07/01/2013 16:25

You have my sympathy. My ds is in his 20s now but his Dad escaped paying £5 a week for 5 years (despite working f/t and earning a healthy commission on top of that). He instigated a tribunal because he objected to paying that, they increased it to £20 for 2 years, then told me (when ds was 13) that ex didn't need to contribute anymore because he had a baby with someone else.

They aren't fit for purpose as far as I can see..I told them to close my case in the end too. Wasn't worth the stress and continual chasing!

WaspFactory · 07/01/2013 16:27

YANBU, maybe not the CSA's fault but these scumbag men make me sick

lazarusb · 07/01/2013 16:42

I can't understand why some men don't want to support their children Wasp. Unfortunately it's them that suffer in the end. I agree though, it's not the staff at the CSA to blame but it is a very odd system!

SoftKittyWarmKitty · 07/01/2013 18:35

YANBU, OP. I've been chasing and chasing them since 2006. Since DS was born ex has refused to answer their letters and calls, moved house, moved jobs, lied to the CSA, got his friend (who he was working for cash in hand) to lie to the CSA and most recently the CSA caught up with him and issued a deduction of earnings order on his new employer, so ex purposely left his job and went on benefits Angry. I receive nothing.

Constantly chasing the CSA is frustrating and stressful, and like you I've considered just giving it up as a bad job loads of times. What's the fucking point? I think this year will be the year I make the decision whether or not to close my case, especially if the charges start to be introduced.

Original poster
elizadofuckall · 07/01/2013 19:42

The problem is, its easier for the CSA to give in than it is to ask the questions! My ex husband actually told the CSA that he would no longer talk to them as he had told them that he didnt earn any money and that he wasnt going to discuss it further, and they just said 'ok'!!

And when i asked WHY they wouldnt ask exactly HOW he had been living without any money for years, they said well he'll probably have another excuse anyway!!!

I was absolutely livid!!

OP posts:
balia · 07/01/2013 19:53

I'm with you - my ex asked to be re-assessed over the summer as he had been off work on the sick and gone to half pay (fair enough - although Hmm at bad back excuse, he can still do everything else) but now he is back at work full-time, so is earning at least 50% more...nothing the CSA can do, they said. Unless he was to be promoted (some chance) or changes jobs.

KenLeeeeeee · 07/01/2013 19:57

They are completely useless IMO. My ex has weasled his way out of paying since I put in a claim in 2006. He's quit his job, moved house, ignored their calls & letters, attempted emotionally blackmailing me to drop the claim, and has now settled for just not working & allowing his wife to pay for everything since July 2011. Why she puts up with him, I'll never understand.

Anyway, they are rubbish and so are the "men" who lie their way out of paying.

SoftKittyWarmKitty · 07/01/2013 20:19

Yes, Ken, I don't know for certain but I assume my ex is also living off his current woman. Makes me wonder what kind of woman puts up with a useless man like that. I know I wouldn't.

GregBishopsBottomBitch · 07/01/2013 20:32

My sister get £5 a week from her DS dad, although he has a 2 cars, 2 home, a caravan and holidays, he fiddles the system coz his wife is an accountant.

He actually said to my sister over the phone, my DN could hear, "Cant pay i have other kids to support" he doesnt, they are his stepkids.

Now DN dad cant be arsed to see him at all, DN has worked out his dads a joke.

Original poster
elizadofuckall · 07/01/2013 20:42

I cant imagine why you would want somebody that doesn't pay for his children as a partner. Personally i would be disgusted!

My daughters are nearing the end of claim age anyway and refuse to have anything to do with him.

My karma is that i have to pay for my own children, His is that they dont want to see him Smile

OP posts:
addictedtolatte · 07/01/2013 20:56

Vent away Smile CSA rang my ex to ask his circumstances and he said he doesn't work Hmm a big fat lie. My ex claims benefits, works self-employed, runs a van, socialses every weekend blah blah blah. I think the CSA needs a big shake up s it seems to be run by robots Shock

Original poster
elizadofuckall · 07/01/2013 21:08

I think that all the CSA agents are interested in is lessening their personal load of cases...which is what i told them today. That they had made 2 people very happy..him as he doesn't have to pay for his children and her as she has one less in her in tray.

She said that she didn't see why i was upset when she had done her best...oh how i laughed!

OP posts:
McNewPants2013 · 07/01/2013 22:07

If he hasn't earned or claimed anything how has he been paying taxes.... Report to inland revenue

SoftKittyWarmKitty · 07/01/2013 22:51

Eliza who knows what these arsehole exes are telling their new partners though - probably some bullshit about how we don't let them see the kids, how we're greedy and grasping, that we were the ones that cheated, how hard done by they are, etc etc.

As for the CSA, well if this is their best it's not good enough.

imtheonlyone · 07/01/2013 23:01

Don't get me started. Another one where the ex pays fuck all for his two boys who I have to support single handed whilst earning next to nothing and doing all the hard work! He gets the fun times every other weekend no stress and no school work .... Apparently he has no money but the kids have their own clothes at his, he's bought a new van and a camper can last year! Oh and Happy Christmas me - him and his new partner are having a baby!!! So he can't afford to support the kids he already has but can afford to plan to bring a new one into the world!!!! CSA are fucking useless and he doesn't have to pay me a penny!!! Grrrrrr sorry - wasn't going to get started ..... The man is a joke ad I totally agree with by would any normal woman want to be with a man who refuses to support his kids - I know he's got money he gets paid in cash! They deserve one another I just feel sorry for my kids who are missing out because I'm struggling .... Aaaaaarrrrrrrggggghhhhh!!!
GrinGrinGrinGrinGrinGrinGrinGrinGrinGrinGrinGrin

feetlkeblocksofice · 07/01/2013 23:07

This sounds oh so familiar, 3yrs without money despite exp having a pub(employed by his wife) lovely brand new car with personalised no. plate, several foreign holidays, CSA do fuck all. Phoned today as exp has a new job he's had for 3 moths (again i informed them) and might see some money in a few weeks Hmm won't count my chickens...

thekidsrule · 07/01/2013 23:18

yanbu

from my point of view they have been great but ex is paye and only been paying for a few months (after he made us have a dna test) anyway im sure in the future we will come across problems with the system

i swear to god if it was me an they had said he wasnt working etc and i knew he was id put a investigator on him (if i had the money)

do they/why dont they do the same as benefit investigations

sorry to here your bad news op

BacardiNCoke · 07/01/2013 23:22

I agree they are a joke! DH paid through the CSA for 9 years until DSD came to live with us. Then when he stopped paying (because she was living with us!), they started to chase him for "arrears". Hmm Even though he had rang them beforehand to tell them of the changes and even sent them a copy of the residence order to prove it. It went on for almost 2 years, he told them repeatedly that he was the resident parent now, and they said yes we know, you still have to pay maintenance though. ShockHmm He was like, pay maintenance for who exactly? When he finally spoke to someone who actually made any sense they asked if he wanted to make a claim against his ex, he told them it wasn't worth the hassle!

GregBishopsBottomBitch · 08/01/2013 00:08

The should start looking up tax codes and benefit information, so the cheating bastards cant fiddle the systems, and if they arent paying taxes or getting benefits, then they should have another department investigating accounts to see what money gets paid in and how much he pays out.

Everyone gets money from somewhere.

CrispyHedgeHogmanay · 08/01/2013 00:20

Ha ha ha! I've been dealing with them since 1997. Never had a penny. Apparently my exh is now his younger, deceased brother and they swallowed that bullshit Hmm

daveserco · 14/01/2013 09:55

Greg Bishop. The 'processes' by which we work are ridicolous. We are told to give out a 0800 to anyone who rings and says that a NRP is working and claiming allowances they are not entitled to. To give you a little insight into the 'culture' at the csa, I will tell you this. When there is bad news to tell a 'pwc', there case worker will ring more than likely during the 'school run', let the phone ring twice then hang up. They will then type up 'said bad news onto system, so when 'pwc' rings back, the person in the contact centre has to give the bad news. We are actually not allowed to e-mail case workers directly, so we have to send an internal message, which has a 5-7 working day timescale for the case worker to ring you, if you are lucky. Bad news notes normally end with the words 'I am no longer the caseworker', which means although they last worked on it, the pwc can no longer speak to them regarding it.

JugglingNStruggling · 20/01/2013 23:44

well I am on the other end of the csa; the vilified nrp (a bloke)
my ex gets all the benefits, drinks, smokes goes abroad a couple of times a year, doesn't even get out of bed to take the kids to school etc....
I don't mind paying for my kids at all, but the money doesn't go on them it goes on fags, booze & holidays
and the csa don't care as long as they abrogate themselves from responsibility; another stat

flow4 · 20/01/2013 23:59

Don't get me started. Angry I involved the CSA in 1998ish, after Ex stopped paying £30/week, saying it was 'too much'. The CSA failed to take any action at all for a decade, and then did too little too late. My Ex left the country, writing to me to tell me I was 'forcing' him abroad by making the CSA chase him. I have never had a single penny. Not one.
If I could sue the CSA, I would. Angry

SoftKittyWarmKitty · 21/01/2013 08:53

I would sue them too, Flow. I sometimes daydream about a massive lottery win with enough money to bring a test case to court against the CSA.

Juggling, how do you know what she's spending the CSA money on? Surely any CSA payments will go into the 'household income' pot, so I assume she'll pay her bills, heating costs, food etc with this money. And I expect the children benefit from the holidays. It's clearly not you that's being vilified in this instance - she is, by you. If you really disapprove of her parenting so much, why don't you apply for custody?