To not feel rich even though husband earns £250k a year

[whoovian]

I don't feel rich - I scarcely feel comfortable on this level of income.

Why is that - I grew up in a very poor family (not enough food at times type of poor) so I know what poverty feels like.

We are not extravagent spenders - we have one 1 week european holiday a year, no savings however we do have 4 children in private school(!) and live in London.

I feel unreasonable when I consider how little income others survive on but what do you think?

[forgetmenots]

It's the schooling, then OP.

I'm not a believer in private education but that's the choice you've made - if you had put your kids in a state school you'd have an extra 82k to play with every year. That in itself is a hell of a lot of money.

If you feel the school is worth it then you should feel rich in that you can afford that good choice. If not, move the kids and enjoy your money. I don't think it's as straightforward as £ and pence.

[princesschick]

You sound very unhappy. Maybe go and sit down and write down 10 things you are grateful for and then schedule some time to talk to your husband about all of this. £85k is a lot for school, it would seem your issue isn't not being well off but not wanting to spend so much on education? And I can see your point. You can't go through life feeling miserable and scared about your circumstances.

But FWIW from where I'm sitting, it sounds like you have a very nice life - with £3,500 p.m. spare to pay for food, bills, holidays etc etc - that's still no small sum but then money is relative and you are used to spending double this on school fees alone per month.

[EnjoyResponsibly]

Well, it's the school fees. Otherwise you'd have 127k after tax to do "everything else".

[badtime]

I haven't read the thread but yes, YABVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVU.

[MolotovCocktail]

And you sy you have 42k for everything else

Sweet Lord!!

That's is many people's entire household income that pays for everything full stop

[threesocksmorgan]

yabu
ffs all this I am so poor.
try being really hard up and looking at losing thousands cos your kid isn't deemed disabeld enough

[Viviennemary]

Four children in private education is the reason why you don't feel rich. If you want to feel rich then take the children out of private education and you will have a lot more cash. If you don't want to do that then carry on feeling deprived.

[fuckadoodlepoopoo]

110k in tax! Ouch!

[VivaLeBeaver]

I'm not suprised you feel poor. I'd feel poor on that level of income as well. Poor love, it must be awful that your DH only earns that. Are you getting all the benefits you can? Can you find a job to help?

[CloudsAndTrees]

The school fees aren't the problem, the ridiculous level of tax is the problem!

If I were paying that much of my money to a government that don't have a clue how to spend it wisely, I think I'd be pretty pissed off too!

[manicbmc]

After all the expenses, you still have more than twice what we have. You aren't having to choose between heating and food. You aren't in your home wearing a million layers to keep warm and your kids are clothed and being well educated.

Count your blessings OP.

[kirstytate]

Well, I guess I have some sympathy but you choose the private schools and to be fair you presumably choose to live in a nice part of London. I wonder why you started the thread...?

The only thing I would say is don't take it for granted. DH and I were on that kind of income five years ago then, thanks to a double redundancy, we were reduced to about a quarter of that. We are both considered "old" ie. in our mid-40s so unlikely to get back into the sort of jobs we had. Private school is now out of the question and we have had to move out of London - which makes it impossible for me to go back to working in the city because of the commute.

So... don't feel too sorry for yourself as circumstances can change and you could find yourself feeling a lot poorer.

[Nuttyprofessor]

And that is why I love the Essex grammar schools.

[stubbornstains]

Perhaps you could volunteer at a local food bank for a while OP? That might give you a sense of perspective.

[D0oinMeCleanin]

Your disposable income (the 42k) is more than double our entire income before tax. We are comfortable.

You need to budget.

[IwishIwasmoreorganised]

If your DH earns £250k a year, what is your income on top of that?

Your mortgage is nearly 3 times as much as ours and we don't pay school fees.

All choices that we have made.

[fuckadoodlepoopoo]

I think you need to keep an eye on your outgoings more carefully. Perhaps keep a record of literally everything you spend money on for a few months, i find a spreadsheet helps!

You might find that its lots of small things like spending too much on food shopping or meals out, or buying the best of everything, so if your kettle breaks for eg buying one for several hundred (if they do them that expensive!) instead of 20 quid. Those things all really add up over time.

Where do you get your kids clothes and your own? I assume your husband has nice clothes for work?

Kids clubs? Buy lunches out instead of taking packed lunch to work?

You really need to look at it closely because you may well be spending thousands a year needlessly.

A lot of what you are spending you probably wouldn't even miss.

[hardboiledpossum]

bloody hell, 42k to spend after your mortgage is a lot of money! We have less that that before we pay our London rent and still manage 2 holidays a year. Basically you must be crap at budgeting. 20k per child is also a lot on school fees. I personally think before age 7 is a waste of money on school fees, maybe pull the ones in prep out and save for secondary instead.

[forevergreek]

Op those school fees sound high!

Where are they at school?

For example wetherby boys school is an excellent prestigious school in notting hill , fees are £5500 a term ( so £16500 a year). There is discount per sibling so approx £14000 each =£56000 a year. A saving of Nearly £30000. There must be other excellent private school nearby that are cheaper.

[noblegiraffe]

Fuck me, 85k in school fees. Are you getting your money's worth there?