To not feel rich even though husband earns £250k a year

[whoovian]

I don't feel rich - I scarcely feel comfortable on this level of income.

Why is that - I grew up in a very poor family (not enough food at times type of poor) so I know what poverty feels like.

We are not extravagent spenders - we have one 1 week european holiday a year, no savings however we do have 4 children in private school(!) and live in London.

I feel unreasonable when I consider how little income others survive on but what do you think?

[SarahStratton]

Same here Horace, I manage on less than £20k and don't feel even a tiny bit deprived, neither do my DDs.

[princesschick]

Err... are you looking for sympathy???????? In this economic climate with a household income of £250K (gross I presume?) - putting you in the top 1% of earners in the UK???? If your husband earns £250k and you are struggling (really, though? Are you struggling?) to manage move out of London to a naice area, make hubby commute, put kids in a naice state school and get on with your life and be happy? We're not hard up and we bring home significantly less (and I mean SIGNIFICANTLY less but I'm not going to disclose my personal finances on a public forum) between us, things will get tougher when our baby comes later this year and we will lose my income. But we will cope and have a lovely little existence and in a very desirable area of Sussex. I know this, because I've sat down and worked the numbers and we didn't overstretch ourselves when choosing things like our house and car.

If it's advice you're looking for... perhaps the grip shop for a pair of mahoosive grips would be a good starting point?

As an aside I'm a bit that your husband doesn't have a pension, you don't put some away in ISAs each year etc etc etc?? Do you work? If not I hope you have good life cover, critical illness and PHI cover in place. Or that your husband has this through work. Seriously, go and check this out.

[sheeplikessleep]

OP - just imagine how much more disposable income you'd have each month if your children were in state education.

You cut your cloth to suit your means.

[manicbmc]

You could even send your kids to less expensive private schools. I'm sure they aren't all £20k a year per child.

[elizaregina]

wow people can be soo bitter when they feel poorer than someone! I am sure we are way down near bottom of pile but I don't begrudge people who have more money than us. You should never ever begrudge people anything or be jealous you simply do not know what struggles or un happiness others have to bear also.

You have poverty consciouness - lots of more well off people have it - you would think they are dirt poor - runing round panicking turning off lights - never running dryer - panic about paying for car parking etc when they are literally millionaires....

Its probably a question of persepective and if you have been poor I think its really sad that now you are in a position of comfort and yet you cant deeply properly appreciate it - I am not sure how you gain persepective though? Counselling, Voluntary work at shelter or something....

[BarredfromhavingStella]

Meh, people live to thier means I suppose, I would, however, like to feel as uncomfortable as you if it meant having that sort of income.....

[Moominsarehippos]

Just vitriol to someone who is well off but complains that they aren't. She has eyes - how much does she pay the nanny? She knows that people are scraping by on minimum wage, dreaming of a foreign holiday, yet she complains.

[cupcake78]

The one thing you do have is choices and the ability to give your kids a good start in life.

Think of all those people with kids on minimum wage living in London.

[cupcake78]

The one thing you do have is choices and the ability to give your kids a good start in life.

Think of all those people with kids on minimum wage living in London.

[mrsjay]

I just think it is sad ( in the real sense of sad ) that the op feels 'not rich' when she has a high income coming in she sounds as if she is moaning about her choices , if you are unhappy about choices change them ,

[ppeatfruit]

Tunip is right. Another way to help your discomfort is to go to hypnosis which can help overcome your general unhappiness.

Or say to yourself "I will not allow the shadow of my sad childhood to influence my whole life". There; sorted that's saved you some money!!

[CloudsAndTrees]

Feeling rich or feeling poor can be very relative to what those around you have.

We have a good enough income, but I could feel poor or rich depending on the people you put me in a room with.

I'm not saying I have a huge amount of sympathy with the OP. I don't. Clearly she is well off and lucky to be so, but I don't think it's fair for posters to jump in with the biscuits and the sarcasm.

It would be very different if OP had six children and an average income and came on here saying that she doesn't feel comfortable with her income. Yet someone who has more children than they can afford would get sympathy, even though they have chosen their situation every bit as much as the OP in this case has.

[AudrinaAdare]

We get some housing benefit and I need to speak to them today. I am on hold being forced to listen to Fleetwood Mac They do it deliberately. It's barbaric

[LovesBeingAtHomeForChristmas]

What proportion goes on schooling? That is your answer, if you had that ever month you'd feel rich wouldn't you?

[ppeatfruit]

I LOVE Fleetwood Mac audin be thankful it isn't bagpipes!

[ladymariner]

You ask what we think. I think YABU. And I also think you're taking the piss.

[Jins]

I don't jump on these threads very often as usually they are started by someone with a 60k gross income but in this case it's a bit different.

250K is a very significant income and if you don't feel rich then there's something wrong somewhere. Is it because your income is under threat and you are worried about coping with the outgoings that you have taken on?

[MammaTJ]

OP, if one of your DC breaks their school shoes, do you have to get permission from the HT to send them in trainers until the next pay day?

No! Didn't think so. Now that is 'not comfortable'.


As for only one European holiday a year, well, I would be thrilled with a UK one.

[AThingInYourLife]

It doesn't sound to me like she's looking for sympathy, just wanting to talk about how she feels.

But apparently only people who are struggling are allowed to have feelings.

Other than Xenia.

[AudrinaAdare]

It's Enya now, ppeatfruit

Now that's hardship OP.

[TeaBrick]

How would it feel to feel rich though, op? As your income grows, your outgoings tend to grow too, ime. I'm on about £14000 pa, and I feel I have enough money to do the things I want to, and enjoy life. I have a small mortgage, and obviously no school fees! I feel content with what I've got, and very lucky really. I'm working towards a better-paid career at the moment. Maybe you need to cut down on unnecessary spending? It sounds like you must have a LOT of money passing through your hands, but you don't seem to be feeling the benefit of it.

[impty]

I agree that feeling rich can depend on what those around you have.

I also agree that more money does not always mean more disposable income.

But more money does mean more choices. You live in one of the most expensive cities in the world, you privately educate your 4 children. These are your choices. You can afford them you just can't afford expensive holidays and to save lots as well.

You might want to think about what is really important in this life though. Health? Happiness? Helping others? Being grateful for what you have?