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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to disagree with the global naming of the Indian gang rape victim?

33 replies

wannaBe · 06/01/2013 23:38

i've raised this point on twitter and thought I'd bring it here as well...

Today the name of the Indian girl who died following a gang rape was published in the Sunday People. Since then there have been various tweets saying "the victim of the gang rape was , please rt," etc. I am almost awaiting the arrival of a facebook page for people to "like".

Now, as someone pointed out to me earlier, it's general practice to name murder victims, but fact is, it's not general practice to do it in this way and to almost turn the victim into some kind of celebrity figure, based on the number of retweets/likes on facebook.

This girl was the victim of a hideous crime. She is not the first, and sadly will almost certainly not be the last. but to name her in this way just seems to cheapen what she has been through, and turn it into some kind of social media circus.

It would IMO have been different if she'd just been named in the news. It's the almost gleaful way in which people are tweeting her name with the added "please RT" that I think makes it horrible.

Originally the argument was that her father had wanted her to be named, but since I originally tweeted about this, the bbc have said that the girll's father has in fact denied giving her name to the press. So it would seem that this idea of publically naming her has been taken on by god-knows-who, and for what?

OP posts:

stargirl1701 · 06/01/2013 23:41

I believe there are people campaigning for her name to be the name of the new law being proposed in India. I read about it The Sunday Times.

I'm not sure how I feel about it.

ILoveTIFFANY · 06/01/2013 23:42

But that's the way twitter/fb is about everyone.... It's part of our culture now

LRDtheFeministDragon · 06/01/2013 23:43

Oh, that's sad, I had heard that it was her father who named her but not the BBC's retraction.

I had assumed people were naming her as a sign of respect - like saying, we will remember her, she's not just 'the gang rape victim', she has a name.

But if her family didn't want her named it feels very different.

gordyslovesheep · 06/01/2013 23:43

yanbu if her family have wanted it kept private - grief vampires are vile - try and ignore them x

3ForMe · 06/01/2013 23:45

I don't think she's being treated as a celebrity.
I think she suffered terribly and if a law comes into place and its given her name, then she won't be forgotten. Albeit for the wrong reasons iyswim

I think the re tweeting her name as gossip is wrong or as if it were headline news as it were.

But if her family are happy for her to be named, I certainly have no issue with it.

LadyBeagleEyes · 06/01/2013 23:46

I also read it was the father that had named her.

rhondajean · 06/01/2013 23:47

I'm not going to be able to phrase this well but I am glad to be able to put a name to her and I would love to be able to put a face to her. I never met her and I never would have but I have mourned her.

But I didn't know the father denied giving the name, that's awful if it has been released without consent and almost like defiling the poor woman all over again.

MmeLindor · 06/01/2013 23:48

I agree with LRD. If her parents had wanted her named, then it would be very different.

I hadn't seen the correction by the BBC. I'd have answers differently on Twitter if I had seen that.

LRDtheFeministDragon · 06/01/2013 23:49

I found a link which I imagine is what the OP also saw:

www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-asia-india-20925164

I see her father's point, but I also see what rhonda is saying and feel the same way exactly, on both points.

Original poster

wannaBe · 06/01/2013 23:50

the family have denied releasing her name.

Last night the sunday people were tweeting that they had a "exclusive" right to name her.

Yes, it's the way it's being tweeted almost like gossip that gets to me. "it's so sad, her name was, please rt," from people who are making up their own tweets and trying to gain retweets etc.

Absolutely if a law can be passed in her name and if this does some good then that is a positive thing.

But to the twitter masses it's just a throw away name. See a tweet, retweet it, move on to the next thing. How many people even remember what it was?

OP posts:

LRDtheFeministDragon · 06/01/2013 23:53

It's difficult. I don't use twitter but facebook is similar. Before I knew her family had not wanted her name mentioned unless it could be used for the name of a new law, I did see it as being quite respectful and not like gossip. But what I've seen has mostly been people saying 'rest in peace' or making some kind of thoughtful comment.

I can see it's a fine line, though.

SPsFanjoIsAsComfyAsAOnesie · 06/01/2013 23:58

Her father wanted her name out because she had nothing to hide and giving her name means shes real and people cant ignore it.

I understand fully why he decided to do it.

I don't have twitter so I haven't seen this but social media will always bee all over the latest news no matter what it is. Its just how it is these days.

soulresolution · 06/01/2013 23:59

I don't think there's anything can be done about the media circus, it's so deeply ingrained in our lives, it chews up news voraciously and then moves on and on. All the same I agree with rhondajean that the lack of a name has made it worse in some ways and it might actually be less dehumanising to be able to think of her as a whole person than always 'gang rape murder victim'.

LRDtheFeministDragon · 06/01/2013 23:59

SP, it says on the link he only wants her named if they will write a law in her name.

EchoBitch · 07/01/2013 00:00

I think if it were my DD i wouldn't want her to be named,but all her family and friends will know anyway and they're the ones who matter now.
If they want her to be named in order to name something after her then that should be their choice,we do it here if someone dies.
I though it was now what her family wanted.

MmeLindor · 07/01/2013 00:01

I suppose it depends on the person really. If it was someone who generally tweets about women's issues, then I'd see it as a sign of wishing to honour her life - that she not be known as 'the victim' but as a person.

If it was the kind of person who blindly RTs without even checking the source of the story, then I agree that it is less appropriate.

ChippingInLovesChristmasLights · 07/01/2013 00:02

It feels far more respectful to be able to say her name, than to keep referring to her as 'the girl who was raped and died' - but I don't twitter, so I don't know her name but from what you have said it does sound like the way it's being done isn't out of respect for her.

SPsFanjoIsAsComfyAsAOnesie · 07/01/2013 00:02

Just seen that there was a BBC retraction and the father didn't want her name out. In that case it is 100% wrong.

The media are vultures and they don't care about people just stories.

EchoBitch · 07/01/2013 00:02

Sorry,i didn't see the link.

EchoBitch · 07/01/2013 00:04

Yes,it does seem more human and respectful to use her name rather than the girl who was raped and died.

SPsFanjoIsAsComfyAsAOnesie · 07/01/2013 00:04

LRD I didn't see the link, sorry.

ripsishere · 07/01/2013 00:05

It was reported in our local press yesterday (Malaysia), that the TV company in India who screened an interview with her partner is in big trouble.

ripsishere · 07/01/2013 00:05

Sorry didn't finish.
His appearance would lead to her identity.

MmeLindor · 07/01/2013 00:06

It seems it is illegal to name a rape victim in India, even after her death.

Perhaps her father named her then feared prosecution so then denied it.

volvocowgirl · 07/01/2013 00:07

Some of the people on twitter are doing it out of respect. Some are just idiots who have no clue what they're doing - but you get that wherever you are - in the virtual or IRL.

I would rather be known by my name that 'that India rape victim' - I wouldn't want my family and friends to start to think of me as that label due to it's over use when I was dead.

She no longer has a voice of her own but the family wanted her named. And the continual anonymity does to some people imply a level of shame, hiding something.

I also think the father wanting this to happen could be hugely influential over the many political and social changes that many people feel need to be made.

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