To refuse to meet with (ex) DP to talk things over until after my operation?

[Hopeandbluebells]

I've posted about the issues DP have been having recently on here before, but a brief history for those who haven't seen my other thread:

I'm due to have a hysterectomy the week after next due to cervical cancer which unfortunately has spread too far for a smaller operation. DP and I were together 8 years and spent the last 6ish TTC, which obviously won't be an option now. DP was absolutely useless after I was diagnosed and obsessed with the fact that it meant he wouldn't be able to have his "own" children with me, long story short I ended up leaving last week and going to stay with my mum because I was trying to talk to him and he was just avoiding me, it was hopeless. I was getting the impression from him that he wanted out though he wouldn't say so directly.

He's now decided he wants to meet up and talk at some point this week ASAP.

Aibu to refuse to meet him until after my op? Bearing in mind it's probably going to be a few weeks after the op before I'm up meeting him to talk about this?

Absolutely! Ignore the dreadful little man.

Focus 100% on you at the moment, keep posting love, we'll keep you company!

All the very best of luck to you love. (((hug)))

Bloody hell, it really is all about him isn't it??

Do whatever YOU like, this is not the time for feeling obliged. And certainly not to him from what you've said!

Hope all goes ok for you

The trouble is I'm worried he might have something he needs to say/ he might be seeing the error of his ways and by refusing to see him I'll ruin any chance of sorting things out IYSWIM. But then I'm not totally convinced I do want to sort things out :/

Inlovewithdavidtennant love the username btw

Chin up. You do exactly what you feel is right for you and feck him. In fact you should double feck him. The fecking fecker.

Oh Hope, I read your previous thread and just wanted to do your DP serious damage. You must do whatever makes you feel good right now. If he has something to say to you would you be ok with maybe reading a letter or something rather than seeing him? Anyway, I hope your op goes well and you're back on your feet very soon and I know whatever yourvfutuwrenholds, it'll be exciting and wonderful ~ you deserve it.

He had his chance to be a decent human being, he blew it.

If he genuinely has realised what a total cock he is, and needs to apologise, he can still do that when you are out of the hospital and on the mend.

If your wellbeing is coming in the way of his ego, if you needing time to be alone before something like this means that he then refuses to sort things out, then tbh, it was never going to work.

don't panic, what will be, will be. He can keep until the day that YOU decide you want to speak to him. IF you ever decide to speak to him again.

Leave him be, ignore him for now. You earned that right.

OMG tell him to f*ck right off . Selfish horrible man.

You think about you and only you. I remember your other thread too. Sorry things are so tough for you. A close family member went through the same thing in her mid twenties and she is married now and exploring other alternatives to become a parent.

YANBU

Unless you have things to "talk over" which you need to deal with this week then either ignore completely or tell him you will contact him when you feel ready.

TBH I wouldn´t be meeting him at all.

But if you want to, then it´s when you feel up to it.