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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To sack my driving instructor

47 replies

mamma12 · 06/01/2013 19:48

I've been learning to drive for about 7 months. My instructor charges less than bsm,aa etc but always turns up at least half an hour late. He also stops several times wach lesson to buy food , petrol etc. There have been times where he's turned up 3 hours late, other times he's turned up and said he cant take me on a lesson because he's "ill" (on this occasion he was 3 and a half hours late). On another occasion despite the fact I was in credit he asked me to book some more lessons because he didn't have any money for petrol. I felt sorry for him and obliged even though this made me overdrawn. Ive been doing 1.5 hours a week as thats all I can afford. He then told me to book my test for January. I booked my test for Feb as this was the earliest date available . He then said I will have to do at least 3 lessons a week to pass (it was him who suggested me booking the test in jan). I said I cant afford this and I would rather move my test forward and carry on as i have been doing. He then to,d me i must not move my test as the driving test is about to change and get much harder. I asked him when he said "just after your test". I've looked online and there is no mention of these changes. I've cancelled my test now (haven't had the nerve to tell him). He still owes me a few hours but i'm thinking of just getting rid of him and finding someone else even if this means paying a bit more. Ive also realised that I've been learning over 6 months and he has only taught me one of the four manoeuvres (which actually i taught myself by watching you tube videos). I don't know what to do for some reason I feel guilty for thinking about sacking him and also a bit scared he will see me taking lessons with another instructor .

OP posts:

EndoplasmicReticulum · 06/01/2013 20:54

I've told my driving instructor story on here before, but he always used to ask me to park up in a particular car park so he could use the toilets. He'd always be gone for ages. I would spend about 20 minutes of my hour lesson parked up in this car park.

I assumed some sort of medical issue. Until a year or so later I read the report in the paper that he'd been arrested by police who had been hiding in the toilets waiting to catch people randomly shagging in there.

So he was randomly shagging in public toilets during my lesson time. However, as a driving instructor I have no complaints as I passed my test!

OP - get rid. You don't owe him anything, he sounds crap.

JesusInTheCabbageVan · 06/01/2013 21:06

What was he like when he came back out of the toilets? I mean, did he sit back down with a big, satisfied sigh or anything?

JesusInTheCabbageVan · 06/01/2013 21:07

And you have the most bonkers NN I have ever seen on here, BTW.

WorraLiberty · 06/01/2013 21:09

You can't sack someone you don't employ >

But yes, go with someone else...he's taking the piss.

Cabrinha · 06/01/2013 21:19

Wow! That is so bad, that actually I think (and sorry this is blunt, I really do mean it kindly) I think you should get a book on being more self assertive.
Stopping for petrol once in a blue moon I would tolerate (stuck in traffic getting to you, need the petrol to continue lesson...) but I'd expect that or a future lesson to be extended in return. But the very first time he stopped for food, would be the very last time.
If he owes you money, you might want to book a single long session to not lose it - but say "right, 2 hour lesson, on these 3 maneuvers only please".
But tbh, I think you should walk away. No need to explain, just don't book any more.

EndoplasmicReticulum · 06/01/2013 21:28

Jesus - why is my nickname bonkers? It's my favourite organelle.

I didn't notice any particular "I have been shagging" attributes. It may have just been a coincidence, and he may really have just been going to the toilet, I suppose.

HecatePropolos · 06/01/2013 21:40

Of course you need to sack him.

He may be cheaper per lesson - but getting through your test is going to cost you a hell of a lot more in total!

he isn't your pal. he isn't your responsibility. It doesn't actually matter (to you. re your driving.) if he's cross or upset or if he's struggling financially. Those things, while bad for him and the last one deserving of some compassion, are not reasons to keep chucking your money at him.

you're not a charity. You are buying a service and atm you are not getting a good one.

you don't owe him anything.

Find someone else.

How he feels about that is his problem.

hedwig2001 · 06/01/2013 22:06

My husband is an instructor. He recommends you report him to the Driving Standards Agency. Give them, name, area he works, local test centre and car reg if you have it.
Contact
ADI section
DSA
The Axis Building
112 Upper Parliament Street
56 Talbot Street
Nottingham
NG6 6LP
0115 901 2500

Debs75 · 06/01/2013 22:20

Yes sack him. I had a terrible instructor when I was 17. he was grumpy, never took me on roads other than back roads. He didn't explain things and would blow up over the simplest things. After about 15 lessons I told him I was off on holiday and would ring him when I got back which i never did.
It stopped me learning for about 10 years, Dad was paying but refused saying I wasn't cut out for driving if I couldn't learn.
When I started learning I got a lovely independent woman who was brilliant i did 6 months with her then got free lessons through mobility and went with BSm. My new instructor was her nephew. Passed 2nd time, 1st test was with a nightmre of an examiner.

If you think he is bad value for money and not teaching you well then tell him you need to find someone who can teach you to test standard

gwenniebee · 06/01/2013 22:25

Get rid of him. I had one like that - and then another one too who I just didn't really feel comfortable with before I found one who taught me well. Learning to drive is horrid enough as it is - you need someone you like!

NoobytheWaspSlayer · 06/01/2013 22:26

DH is a driving instructor, and read your post going 'what....whaaaaat...WHAAAAAAAAAT? Bin him, and report him, he is taking the piss hugely.

ripsishere · 07/01/2013 00:15

Consensus is - sack him.
I had a shocker of a driving instructor when I started to learn. At 17 with little life experience I thought shopping, collecting random women and delivering them elsewhere was fine.
I was told a couple of months after I changed, he was a pimp. Still not as good as a bumsexer though.

MackerelOfFact · 07/01/2013 07:13

You're not really sacking him, he'll still have a job! You are perfectly entitled to change instructor/company for any reason whatsoever (my instrctor told me he had one pupil walk out halfway through her first lesson because she didn't like his after shave!) so of course YANBU.

gimmecakeandcandy · 07/01/2013 07:17

What are you doing?! Get rid and REPORT him.

RuleBritannia · 07/01/2013 07:30

EndoplasmicReticulum I hope that instruictor washed his hands before he returned to you after his ..... private adventure.

I had a refresher course after no car and no driving for about 10 years and the instructor I chose smelled awful and it made me feel sick after a couple of drives at 20 miles an hour and I felt 'unsafe' with him. I found a superb instructor who had me on dual carriageways during the first drive. Now I drive all over the country.

From what I've read, it seems as if a woman instructor would be a good choice.

Alisvolatpropiis · 07/01/2013 07:57

Get rid OP!

I started learning to drive when I was 17. Driving instructor spent months only teaching me the bare minimum whilst slowly but surely trying to groom me into sleeping with him. He had a daughter a year younger than me. I had braces. He was also doing the same to a friend of mine but via a different approach. With me it was all smooth talking and talking about culture,with her it was just being flat out crude. Stopped when my mum picked my phone up thinking it was hers and saw texts he'd sent. Berserk doesn't quite cover it.

As far as I know the creep is still running his driving school. Wish I'd reported him at the time but seems a bit late almost 7 years on.

Pancakeflipper · 07/01/2013 08:07

I changed D/Instructors when he started telling me sex stories of his youth.

The next one was into a lot of woo but at least we had some good conversations ( and he was a great instructor).

ConfusedPixie · 07/01/2013 08:37

Yanbu, change him! I had three instructors! Though to be fair my first one was great at giving me the confidence to drive (he'd pretend to take work calls whilst I was driving, which shocked me at first but I realised later he was talking to his wife as he didn't want me constantly checking with him that I was doing okay!) But he wasn't great for manouvers for me, not sure why. His wife then took me for some lessons and whilst I didn't gel with her she got me doing manouvers in a couple of hours and improved some other aspects of driving. I then moved away, they actually came to where I'd moved to for a week for a weeks intensive driving at very short notice but I failed my test so got souther instructor in my new place who was good at getting me to test standard. I think I would have spent many more hours learning to drive had I not switched instructors!

perrywinkle · 07/01/2013 10:13

get rid! My current DI is fantastic, always arrives 10 mins early and has never asked me to stop the car to pop into any shops or even for petrol. I'm a very nervous driver but he has never criticized my driving, always constructive feedback.

FTRsawMammykissingSantaClaus · 07/01/2013 10:21

I think you need to bin him, I've only had 5 hours of lessons and we've already done all of the manoeuvres, IMO he's ripping you off and taking the piss out of you.
Good luck I hope you find someone competent and professional

pinkdelight · 07/01/2013 10:48

Please please do what Hedwig says! Reading your post, I thought there has to be a way to report someone like this. He's lying and ripping you off and should not be allowed to get away with it. Get rid and report him and feel good about it!

Pandemoniaa · 07/01/2013 11:26

I'm amazed you've not got rid of him long before. I'm not at all surprised he isn't earning enough money for petrol either since I can't imagine he's any good at keeping pupils. I'd also report him. Don't give another thought to his opinions either. He clearly can't run his business adequately and isn't owed any sort of loyalty.

FWIW I changed instructors. I could already drive another sort of vehicle so didn't need many lessons in a car. However, I objected to paying for an hour of tuition with a tetchy little man who clearly disliked women and whose driving lessons consisted of me driving for half an hour to his next pupil's house and then sitting in the back of the car while the next pupil drove me back. What I actually needed was test route driving. Not random drives through the countryside. When I told him I wouldn't be booking another lesson he wasn't pleased and carried on phoning to try and get me to change my mind. I threatened to report him too. The phone calls stopped!

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