to ask what you think about DHs suggestion?

[roundandabout]

Dh and I are married but I did not take his surname. We are now about to have our first DC and he has suggested that we give him or her my surname as his is Polish and thinks this could lead to some sort of discrimination or disadvantage for them.

I don't think DH has ever suffered any problems purely on the basis of his name but we do see and hear stories of PolisH people stereotyped or being poorly treated at work.

I don't know what to think about this really, I'd be happy for DC to have my name from a feminist point of view but just wondered what you thought about what DH thinks. Has anyone come across any discrimination because of having a Polish surname?

Interesting

I've got a British name which, when combined with my maiden name, sounded foreign. I've had many people commenting, that before they met me they had assumed I was of Indian or Pakistani descent.

It has made me wonder, having read about the research StuntGirl mentioned, whether it has ever impacted on me being shortlisted for jobs.

It is really sad to have to think about prejudice. OTOH it's a bit boring to repeatedly have to spell your name for others.

I suppose someone just seeing the name might form an impression of someone for whom English was a second language. I think a Polish first name is a good plan. Or, include dh's surname as a middle name (as many women do with their own name, it's just the other way around).

I have a friend whose DC have her surname rather than her DH's - his dad walked out and he didn't want to pass that surname onto his DC. Also my friend is one of 3 sisters, one is childless and the other's children have their dad's name - so this way her family name is carried on.

I wish i'd given some of my DC my surname in some form, middle name or the girls' last name - except it's a bit crap and I was teased enough at school for it so didn't feel I could inflict it!

If your DH is happy, go for it.

I use my Polish surname in the UK (it has lots of w's in it and is unpronouncable to most people), I have not encountered any kind of discrimination, or very little.

I am not even Polish, really, just a great- greatgrandfather.

Don t let that stop you. I do always have to spell it, but that is fair enough!

My dh changed his first name as it was frankly daft, and he felt it was holding his back in his career. He says it has changed the way he is treated in many situations, major and minor.

My kids are 8 and 10 now. The oldest used to wish for a name like Jones, as he is dyslexic and could not write his own surname until he was 8, which was frustrating. The youngest loves being a bit interesting and different, and likes telling people about great- great grandfather and what the name means. It makes him feel important.

There is no telling with kids...