Who's being unreasonable?

[Goldchilled7up]

We live in the upper ground floor of a converted period house. Since we moved here just over 6 months ago we keep having issues from with our downstairs neighbour.

She has parties until the early hours of the morning, and since we asked her to keep the noise down, she now keeps on going on about my 3 year old being noisy. Saying that her parties are occasional but that our noise is daily.

We are trying to be as diplomatic as possible and try to constrain our son as possible from running around or jumping. At 12pm I got a txt from her saying that she could not sleep, that my son woke her up (yes you read 12pm not 12am) he really was not being noisy, just playing with a car in his bedroom but apparently the rubbing of the car in the floor bothered her. She is now asking us not to let him play in his bedroom as its above hers, and saying that he should play in the lounge. I'm not willing to do this as it is his bedroom and not fair on him. I'm I being unreasonable?

Carpets or wooden floor?

And I have to say, the noise from upstairs flats can sometimes be intolerable.

She's being unreasonable. Grrrrrr.

Her noise is unreasonable, yours isn't.

She's just trying to get you back for daring to say something.

Ignore her.

Yes you have carpets?

We've got a sisal carpet.

I think she is BU. Unless she works nights and needs to sleep in the day.

Maybe ask her whether this is the case and act accordingly. When my upstairs neighbour was revising for an exam (every evening for around a month), we would watch tv in our bedroom as the tv in our lounge was under where she studied and we were worried that we would be a nuisance. They have exetended us similar courtecies.

Find out why she needs to sleep.in the daytime. Its not unreasonable for your son to play in the lounge during the day if she has to sleep at these times for work. Or swap bedrooms with your ds.

It is all par for the course with flat shares.

She doesn't work, I believe that she's unemployed. It's her life style choice to sleep during the day. I would be sympathetic if she worked nights.

What should I text her back?

Oh well in thay case, get in there and start playing cars. Loudly. With lots of laughter.

Maybe just say "DS is sitting playing with his toy cars in the middle of the day. Is there a reason you need quiet at this time, as I would be happy to bring him to another room if you have an important reason for needing to aleep in the middle of the day"

It's your lifestyle choice to have a child and let him play in his room though, isn't it?

Get a rug for his room, a really thick one. And pull your judgey pants down while you're at it. If you start trading 'lifestyle' insults with her, it won't end well.

YANBU, your child is entitled to play in his bedroom. You could suggest if she wants to sleep all day she can get some earplugs so she's not disturbed.

my DD sounds like a herd of elephants just walking upstairs in a period house

if she works shifts and is trying to sleep in daytime ask her the times she sleeps like 7-2pm or is it 11-5pm in that case for good neighbours say you will get son to play in lounge, if she will also keep noise levels down after 8pm

she would still be reasonable to have a few parties a year but not on a weekly basis you can't reasonably complain about a few noisy parties a year especially if at weekends

Sounds good goldplated, I'll text that thanks

I think he should play in the lounge cos that sort of noise would be irritating. Given that you have each others mobile numbers you presumably were friendly? Try to compromise to keep it that way.

Wilson, he does have a rug in his bedroom. There's the sisal carpet and a rug on top. I'm not judging her lifestyle, it only bothers me if its affecting my son having a normal childhood in his own home.

I feel that I keep telling my son off all the time, as her first issue was him running around, so we tell him off when he does it . That why I feel that now asking him not to play in his bedroom is asking to much. There is a child on the flat above us, we also hear their noise but as its daytime general household or a child playing it doesn't bother us.