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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To dump a bucket of cold water over sleeping OH?

32 replies

Theicingontop · 06/01/2013 14:05

We're supposed to be leaving to have dinner with my parents in an hour. He's still in bed because he was up all night playing the worst fucking invention of all fucking time football manager with his teacher friend who's due back to work tomorrow. It was like their last hurrah until the next half term when their incessant, mind-numbing game will continue.

He's just requested that I 'stop rushing him' because he's 'really tired', and rolled over and gone back to sleep.

I've been busy all day cleaning the house and making a pudding for after dinner.

I feel like chucking some water over him. I'd be helping him out really, he'll be needing a shower anyway.

OP posts:
gordyslovesheep · 06/01/2013 14:07

just go without him

rubyslippers · 06/01/2013 14:07

What Gordy said

cozietoesie · 06/01/2013 14:08

No - you'll have to clean up the room then as well as him.

Move some music playing thing into the room and play Wagner loud.

Grin
kinkyfuckery · 06/01/2013 14:08

Yes it would be unreasonable to throw anything at anyone.

Tell him you are getting ready then go. If he doesn't get ready and come, then you can deal with that later. Forcing him to go if he doesn't want to wouldn't solve anything.

Bluestocking · 06/01/2013 14:08

What gordy said. Just go without him. You'll have a better time anyway.

HecatePropolos · 06/01/2013 14:08

I agree. I'd just go without him. And when my parents asked where he was. I'd tell them. And why. Sod him. Grin

Numberlock · 06/01/2013 14:09

Don't ask him any more, carry on with your pre-arranged plans and if that means going without him, so be it. Presumably he knew on advance that you wanted to leave by 2 o clock?

Do you live together and have children?

JustFabulous · 06/01/2013 14:11

Defnitely go without him. And don't bring him anything back.

TheCatIsEatingIt · 06/01/2013 14:15

Hecate, I agree with you. I won't argue about something like this, but I won't cover for him either. If it reflects badly on anyone, it's him. In fairness, DH is a million times better at sucking up tedious family dos (not suggesting OP's family dos are tedious, but some of mine really are) than my twatty XP, but I still get my knickers in a twist in expectation of it and have to make a real effort not to get cross in advance.

HecatePropolos · 06/01/2013 14:16

Yup. I refuse to cover for someone's bad behaviour too. If they're happy to do something, they should be happy for everyone to know that they did.

Original poster
Theicingontop · 06/01/2013 14:17

Leaving him here if he's not up and dressed by the time we're out the door. And I'm not leaving him any apple crumble.

OP posts:
Narked · 06/01/2013 14:23

Hmmm. Going without him might be rewarding him for being a cock, if he isn't keen on going anyway.

HecatePropolos · 06/01/2013 14:25

Only if she lies about why he's not there, or he doesn't care about looking like a bit of an arse to his inlaws Grin

Numberlock · 06/01/2013 14:27

Do you have children with him OP?

Original poster
Theicingontop · 06/01/2013 14:30

We have a 2 year old DS, Numberlock

He doesn't like my mum's cooking. Neither do I really... So he is getting out of that by staying here. Hmm.

OP posts:
MrsHoarder · 06/01/2013 14:33

YWBU to dump a bucket of water over what is presumably also your own bed. Just go without him (and then tell him how fab the meal was)

JustFabulous · 06/01/2013 14:33

Maybe it is time you stopped going too if you don't enjoy the experience.

Numberlock · 06/01/2013 14:35

When did he last let you have a lie-in till 2pm or child-free time?

BlingLoving · 06/01/2013 14:35

Sorry, I simply don't understand. Of course, go without him, don't make excuses etc but... There is a much bigger conversation here about him not being much of a partner. I take it you are not getting any help with ds either? And he's letting you down. If this happened more than once a year I'd consider it a deal breaker. I never understand attiTudes on here that say "he's an adult, you can't force him". That's rubbish. He is forcing you to be 100% responsible for ds, to do a family commitment alone etc etc.

Original poster
Theicingontop · 06/01/2013 14:47

He's a great partner actually. Works incredibly hard, and is a fantastic father. Just doesn't like to get up after 'gaming hard' all night on a weekend with his geeky friend.

Punishable by bucket of cold water I reckon.

OP posts:
Magrathea · 06/01/2013 15:22

How about a bag of ice cubes under the duvet? Same effect but no mess to clean up

Emandlu · 06/01/2013 15:24

Send your 2yo in with a bag of ice cubes??

wewereherefirst · 06/01/2013 15:29

Saucepans, wooden spoons and sending my boys up for 'music with Daddy' works for me.

WhySoSirius · 06/01/2013 15:31

I'm a duvet-snatcher. Grab the duvet and pillows and run!

StuntGirl · 06/01/2013 15:37

Sometimes family gatherings are tedious. You suck it up and go anyway because that's what families do. Opting out of family obligations is not an option here. Not that any of us have ever skived a family do, but only illness or something completely unavoidable that prevented us going would stop us.

He's being a bit of a knob, but I'd go without him and let everyone know he real reason if they asked.