DP and I have recently gotten engaged and as it's over a holiday period and we have nothing better to do , have already started to discuss plans for the wedding.
Now it's become abundantly clear that we both want different things. I would like nothing more than to run away somewhere warm, take both sets of parents as witnesses and return married 
. He would like the big bash with family. I think IWBU to try to push him down my route, so we are trying to find a compromise (basically we have the bash, but make it on a much more intimate scale, without any great Auntie Nora's cousin's neighbour types getting an invite!).
So far so good, but this is where it gets tricky. He has a good relationship with his extended family and wants to invite most of them, but not all. He has good reasons and his family are likely to be absolutely fine with this. I can't bloody stand a big chunk of my family, but was brought up that if you invite one relative of a particular degree you have to have the lot unless there's an actual falling out (there isn't).
He reckons invite who you like and sod the rest. Intellectually I agree - we're scattered all over the country, so this will not affect my daily life, but I worry about causing my parents grief if we take this approach because they are in much mores regular contact with the rest of the family. Some folk I had no intention of inviting have already been in touch with the clear assumption that they are getting an invite!
AIBU to ask if anyone else had this dilemma? What did you do in the end?