To ask DM to look after DD (again) while I'm ill?

[fuckitfuckitfuckit]

Last night went to bed feeling awful, this morning i've woken up with D&V. 9mo DD seems fine however. DM is coming over to help me take the Christmas tree to the tip (I don't drive). Was planning on phoning DM to say i'm ill so don't come, but now I'm wondering if i can ask DM if she can look after DD until i'm better. I hate asking for things anyway but DM suffers from mental health problems so don't want her to feel pressurised into something if she's feeling ill herself and she had DD for a couple of days after Christmas as i was very stressed and just needed a couple of days to myself, she seemed to love having DD and almost cried when she brought her back. I'm also worried that if it's the norovirus that I've passed it onto DD who will pass it on to DM and DSis. So WIBU to ask mum, baring in mind that her mental health problems mean she probably wouldn't say no even if she didn't really want to?

Tough one. On one hand I can see how it would be bloody helpful! on the other hand, if it is noro - your daughter will already have it! And it will pass on to them. (it's the bug from hell ) and if your mum doesn't say no to things she doesn't want to do, you'll be worrying she said yes and resents you for it! (and yes, if someone chooses to say yes, they should mean it and it isn't the problem of the asker if someone chooses to say yes and then is huffy about it, but you're still going to feel bad if you think she didn't want to)

I would say phone her, tell her not to come over cos you're ill and see what she says.

Thanks for your reply, hecate. I phoned DM and she's still coming over, so may ask once she's here.

Think you're v lucky she's so supportive, hope you're better soon

I think YABABITU. As great as it is to have somebody supportive around you, you need to learn to develop coping mechanisms when it comes to looking after your DD when you are ill or stressed out. Especially if your mum had MH issues and is unlikely to say no, even if she wanted to but I think twice in a matter of weeks for a couple of days each time is a lot to ask, IMO

I think you should ask her, it'd be far better to get your dd out of the house in case she catches it, if possible. And it's def not unreasonable to ask for help if you have a bug, it's not as though you'd be asking every time you have a sniffle, there's nothing worse than a stomach bug.