To speak to a doctor about DS' sleep problems

[AugustMoon]

DS1 and 2 (9 and 6) regularly wake in the night and come into our room / bed. Just woke before 6 to find DH not in bed next to me - say she was with DS1 'lying with him'. AIBU to think that he shouldn't have to do this with a 9yo and to take him to the doctor? He wakes almost every night. DS2 just likes sleeping with us. Often he stays in our bed but sometimes DH takes him back and 'lies with him'!
Meanwhile I have a 5 month old who wakes several times a night - DH never helps with him but claims he is 'up with the kids'! I don't think the should be up at all! Apparently I'm weird...?

'Says he was with DS' not 'say she' - sorry bfing!

I don't see what the doctor is going to do. If your are unhappy with their sleep patterns then you have to implement some sleep training. At 6 & 9 they are old enough to understand what is expected of them.

We have never allowed our children to sleep in our bed because I don't want them to. I prefer them to sleep in their own beds in their own rooms and started training them to do this early on. Friends co sleep because that's what they want. You need to decide (with dh) what you want and train the children to do that.

My DH is similar....he wakes and then cant bear to be three in a bed....he also find it hard to resettle himself.

Yabu and Yanbu

The Dr won't really help...youll need to speak to your older son to begin with...he's too old really...is he very sensitive?

As I child I was very sensitive about sleeping, and hated waking up and being 'alone'. For along time- until
I was about 11, I would go into my parents room and want to get in with them. My folks ended up taking a pragmatic approach. They bought some garden chair mattresses and put them under their bed. I was on strict instructions that I was okay to come in, but had to pull the mattress out and not wake them. This worked for all- and I did grow out of it.

Just an idea? If you have space, a cheap mattress from ikea? I liked it as I didn't feel kicked out but could move on when I felt ready. I was a really sensitive soul though!!!

Just an idea for the mix!

Yes he is sensitive. And has ADHD so always had sleep problems. Tbh the only reason I've suggested a doctor is because DH thinks its normal and I don't so need another opinion... I really need help with the baby but while this is going on I feel he's dragging it out and using it as an excuse not to help me... Maybe just over tired. Sorry to drip feed, seems there's more to it

Thanks PPT. Unfortunately we don't have space but wld be a nice idea if we did

You can go to the doctors. My DS has ASD and doesn't sleep, he is given melatonin as he can not produce enough himself to get to sleep. It's something found naturally in the body not a sleeping tablet. You can get slow release tablets to help with waking

There are also things like sleep clinics to help figure out what the problem is. There's load of things doctors can do about sleep problems in children

No it'd not normal. Dd1 has ADHD age 8 sleeps fine except for waking stupidly early! Dd2 under assessment for social issues has awful sleep pattern and is on melatonin

Didn't know melatonin was prescribed often? I've read about it but no doctor's suggested it! Honestly, feel like my dr. Are a waste of time - almost every time I go I'm sent home with instructions to take / give paracetamol and come back in 3 days!

If he has ADHD does he not have a paediatrician?

Have both children got medical reasons for being poor sleepers? If not, and only one of them has, it could well be habit rather than medical. I'd mention it to your HV and see what s/he suggests.

Melatonin was a godsend for us. It can't be prescribed by a GP though, so you would need a referral on to CAMHS or a paed to get it prescribed.