to not want to opt out

[tenby84]

Of child benefit.
Dh earns over 60k so we are losing chb. I want to continue to claim but dh wants me to opt out so he doesn't have to complete a tax return.
I am on maternity leave from a very part time job. I now have 3 ds's so will probably not return to work due to cost of childcare for maybe 4 years. We have a joint account but it us nice having money of my own. Especially dh often treats joint account as his own. He has been known to ask me what I spent his money on and accussed me and ds. Of sponging off him in a row.
Aibu to either not opt out or say i will opt out if there are no pension implications and he tr's same amount to my account.

Hmmn. How much money would you lose out on? Tax returns can be a nightmare to complete, particularly when trying to work at the same time. I'd always rather not do one if possible. How much would it cost to get an accountant to do said tax return, or alternatively, how many hours would it take your DH to do it that he could be spending with you and your DCs?

Why would you have 3DSs with such a controlling man?

This element of the tax return will be very simple. If he's got his P60 and P 11d stored where he can access them, it would take 20 mins or less.

I thought it impacts on your NI contributions, hence the option of taking it but the money being claimed back through the tax paid. I would def not opt out in the circumstances you describe...

YANBU

I think NumericalMum asks a good question.

As a family you earn over 60K. As a family, you can afford childcare.
CB isn't your issue here. There is potentially trouble ahead with an attitude like this. Go back after ML to your very part time job. If it's that part time, child care will be low. Build your hours up, or at the very least keep your hand in. Then one day if you decide, no, you do NOT accusing me of taking "your" money, you arsehole" you are in a position to up your hours, or use your continuous employment or up to date skills to get another job - and leave him.

YANBU to not want to opt out

Tax returns are NOT necessarily a nightmare, and do NOT require an accountant especially if you are an employee and don't have lots of little sidelines/other income streams.

It seems to me that you are in precisely the situation that CB was intended to give women a little protection from (though at the soft end iyswim). Continuing to claim also protects your pensions situation.

Also sounds like you need to have a bit of a proper discussion about household finances now you have 3 kids.

And do you really think him putting the money in your account will make him not go on about it being his, or you forget that it has come from him?

Seriously, this isn't about CB.

As a family, pay for that child care and get thee back to work at the end of mat leave.

I would certainly be telling him that he doesn't EVER accuse me of sponging. Ever. Deal breaker.

I'm in a similar position and asking 'why are with him' simply isn't helpful.

Yes we should all have healthy relationships, we should all be respected, treated equally but the cold facts are that a lot of relationships aren't perfect and those who are in less than ideal situations shouldn't be made to feel bad about it. It's not the OPs doing, so don't pull her up on it.

I didn't realise you had to opt out? How does this work then, do you get sent forms? Sorry to hijack, just thought it would automatically stop being paid and those eligible would have to reclaim?
Your situation seems bigger than a bit of child benefit money tbh, and your DP sounds as if he can be a bit controlling over money, in which case I can see why you would want to keep it (although as I said, I didn't realise you could still claim even though you are, as a family, above the threshold).

Tbf was not always like that. I think his attitude has changed after birth last ds. Amount involved nearly £190.

I don't think I could face filling in a tax return. But you could get an accountant to do one for you. I don't think it costs that much.

"I think NumericalMum asks a good question. "

no it's a bloody pointless and unhelpful question.

Do you think the difference after this child is that you're now talking about not returning to work at all? It sounds like you did both times previously.

I think you need to have a frank conversation about finances with your DH.

As a family your finances should be shared, it is not "his" money. He may earn most of it but you look after the kids to enable him to do this.

The way your financial relationship is right now, I would not be opting out and I would be keeping the P/t job. P/t jobs are hard to come by, it gives you a degree of financial independence plus it keeps you in the job market. You may struggle to get another job easily after several years away from work.

Your DH sounds like a prick TBH.

If you are simply "employed" on a PAYE basis, you have no other income then doing a self assessment is v v v easy - I have done y husband's for years. This also included entering his pension payment, charitable giving - which reduced his tax liabilty. Oh and negligible bank account interest. All this info is easily accessible/sent to you in time to do your self assessment

Income/Salary stuff through you P11D/P60 which you r employer sends out at the end of the tax year
Pension stuff - again you should get and end of year statement - if not you can phone and ask for one (or check your bank balance to see what contribution s you have made
Charity - just keep a note of any gift-aid donations you make.
Bank accounts - will be on end of tax year statement - else you can ask your bank for a summary.

The on-line service is very kind, self explanatory and easy. The paper one isn't too bad either. Just remember a couple of things

1. YOu may need to register for on-line stuff a week/10 days before you want to do it to get set up/login/passwords etc so plan for that
2. The staff are v helpful at HMRC
3. Get all you info together in time so you do not miss your deadline

It really is OK. Accountants not really needed if just employed as above. Try it. And then if you/Dh cannot then think about an accountant. But really not tough.

Fish fingers - is his pension a company pension or a separate private one? DH has his work one, would I need to include that or will the tax break be given through his PAYE code?

Sorry, I haven't got a clue and I'm going to have to do his SA at some point as I'm still going to claim until my state pension situation is clarified.

We have had a talk this morning an he is going to put my name on his account. I don't particularly want access to it, just to be treated as an equal and not staff.

My DH's in a separate private one - but from what I recall the explanatory notes explain how to fill it in for company/private pensions (if not call the HMRC). What I would suggest as well is that if you are going to do it for him (and he is happy for this) for you to call the HMRC together and get him to say they can talk to you re his details else you can get data protection/cannot talk to you issues. Though saying that most things you can ask on a general basis. It is a PITA (the whole self assessment thing) but it has been made fairly straightforward. We now run our own company so have corporation tax/dividend and stuff to contend with and completion of the Self Assessments are part of the deal with our accountants - but if if he was still PAYE only I would def save the money.

(tiptoeing around question of whether OP's DH is behaving like a Prick)

They were saying on radio repeatedly in last few days (journalists like Paul Lewis) that opting out does not jeopardise the NI contributions/Pension situation. Said that credits will continue to be given.

I don't know why you would want to complicate the tax return still further, OP.

Did you see Guardian article yesterday? That it raises the marginal tax rate to 65% for earners like your DH? Bit pants, really.

"The entitlement, rather than the payment, of child benefit will ensure that NI credits continue."

HMRC says that if you are currently receiving child benefit and opt out, you will still get the credits.

"it is important that a child benefit claim form is still completed. The entitlement, rather than the payment, of child benefit will ensure that NI credits continue."

We're not opting out. DH will do self assessment and we'll go from there as I'm on maternity leave until May and childcare vouchers will come from his pay which may push us back down under the cutoff.