upset at lack of response to party invites

[seadiamond]

I invited all 13 of my dd's nursery school classmates to her 4th birthday party and only received a response from 3 people. That means 10 people didn't respond at all :-(. It didn't really make any difference to dd - she had a great time and she had non-nursery friends at her party too, but I just can't get over how rude the other parents have been. Another child had a party today which dh took dd to, I couldn't face going and putting on a fake smile to all those parents I feel really angry and upset by. I've even started thinking about changing her nursery as she's been there 2 years and I barely know the other parents. It might be worth adding that we live overseas - but are very integrated and speak the local language. I'm trying not to take it personally, I know it's not personal but am soooo upset and can't see how I can go on seeing those parents at pick up and drop off and keep smiling politely.

Hiya - no real advice; my DS has his 7th birthday party today and not one bugger out of the 8 I invited RSVP'd (I posted about it a while back, there was another thread from someone going through something similar too) so it's definitely NOT personal, just the time of year I think. I also found out from one mother that she never even got the original invite, so thank gawd I did send reminders :) Hope your DD had a good time regardless! :)

I know how you feel! Especially since most of DS's (18mo) 'friends' I know from baby groups. They all have birthdays one after the other, and DS was the last. We dutifully went to about 7 or 8 birthdays in the two months before DS's. Yet when it comes to his, lots of people either didn't reply or said they were coming and didn't! I was really upset!

It seemed as only their birthdays were important! Particuarly the one mum with twins, who turned up two hours late! To a one year olds birthday, I was only expecting people to stay a max of three hours anyway. Lots of the guests had already gone and she just did it to make an entrance as her DS&DD had their birthday the week before!

I wouldn't change nursery over it though! Just accept that they are rude and don't bother again!

Forgot to add I had a row with DP's aunt and uncle over this. They have a baby the same age. I'd sent out invites, had no proper confirmation. Sent them a facebook email. Which says if they've seen it and at what time they'd seen it. Still no response, yet they'd both been on fb to post photos etc! I don't think people realise how exciting it is planning a party, especially for a first birthday! I wanted everyone accounted for and prepared!

People are rubbish at responding to invitations. That is a fact. They delay and delay then forget about it. It is like they don't realise you are trying to plan.

However, I wouldn't take it personally. People are simply rubbish. It isn't their party so it isn't their priority. Frustrating for you but typical of people.

Not personally but have heard from other parents in a dilemma of whether to accept an invite because the birthday child is a nightmare. Not suggesting that this is your child in any way bit did make me wonder if the one or two that didn't respond to my dd1's birthday one year disapproved of her being a bit of a brat at the time. Still an actual reply would be nice.

Thank you for 'your' responses. I was thinking wouldn't it be typical if I posted this, then noone responded, lol! This was my first post, btw. Been a lurker for a while. Mycar and Margey, I'm so sorry that happened to you too. I think it's so inconsiderate to the child. Whenever I get an invite I do my best to make sure the dcs can go to the party somehow, regardless of who the child is, simply because I can't imagine how awful it would feel for a child to be so excited about having a party and having their classmates round, then having noone turn up. I accept that people have busy lives but at least have the courtesy to call the host and thank them for the invitation and let them know you're not coming so at least they have time to prepare the child for the disappointment and possibly arrange something else instead. Ilovechristmas, I know what you mean but dd is a really easy going, well liked kid. But even if the child is a nightmare, I still think it's really rude to not call the parent and thank them for the invite and inform them that you won't be there. Anyway, rant over, thanks for listening. Perhaps iabu to take it to heart. Got to shrug it off somehow, develop a thicker skin :-(

I agree seadiamond, it is rude not to respond to an invitation. If people are kind enough to invite you somewhere then you should give a response....promptly.

Sadly some people are rude and others are just forgetful, disorganised or a bit useless.

It isn't you. It is them. I am glad your daughter had a lovely time anyway!