Could do with a little help please.

[chickensarmpit]

I have been battling depression since April. I see no way out at the moment.
I had a tough upbringing which i won't go into as it's a long story.
I suppose hitting 30 this year and going through a rough patch with my OH has made my depression worse.
My problem is this. My Oh keeps making promises to spend time with me. We never really see each other so when he does promise me it lifts up my spirit so to speak. Yet he keeps letting me down. Other things crop up like his brother needs a lift, a friend is in town or like todays excuse. He's going to visit a woman beater in prison! I'm fuming and devastated at the same time.
At the moment i feel like i'm cracking up and i really need my OH's time. I had arranged for my mum to have the kids so i can spend the day with him then he tells me he's going to visit a piece of crap in prison!!
He thinks i'm reading to much into it and i'm being dramatic. Aibu??
Please don't start giving me down the, i'm literally on the edge.

He's just started a new business after loosing his job. I guess he might be depressed himself. I suppose i'm being selfish just thinking about myself.
I think he might have a slight gambling problem too. He doesn't use family money for it though which is a blessing.

Chicken, stop excusing him. He may well be depressed but you need to think of your own health and well being. You need to be well in order to be a good mum to your DC, so the responsibility to get the right help is yours.

As for your OH, his behaviour is inexcusable to say the least.

Oh dear. You are not being selfish.
And no wonder you're depressed. Get yourself to your GP pronto and get yourself some counselling as well.
He may not be making you depressed but he's certainly a big factor.

OP, so many of us on the Relationships board were depressed then ended our relationships and amazingly the depression lifted.

Personally I thought I was going mad and it was only once I realised my ex was having an affair that I realised actually I wasn't, it was that my real life and my perceived life weren't the same.

Your boyfriend is really horrible to you. If any of us lived with someone horrible, we'd be depressed. It's a normal reaction.

You would be much happier without him, you know. OK so he's good with the kids (though I think that playing football or whatever with them can't possibly make up for treating their mum like dirt) so that means when he leaves he will be good to them. That's fine.

Close your eyes and think about what it would be like if you lived separately. Go through the panicky feeling, don't think about money for a minute, don't think about him saying he wouldn't leave, etc. Just think about what it would be like to be at peace every single day.

I would say the way he treats you is a major contributory factor to your depression, telling you you're a c**t, dismissing you when you try to talk to him about how you feel because its bullshit (stonewalling to the extreme), your crying winds him up.. When did he start behaving like this OP?