Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Flip

1 2

Original poster

to teach my child some witty comebacks

42 replies

DamnBamboo · 04/01/2013 23:30

Hello,

my eldest boy wears glasses and is nearly 8. He is now just starting to be on the receiving end of 'four eyes' comments amongst other things and it is upsetting him a little bit. I know this is par for the course and that it is bound to happen (although it is of course not very nice) but would I be unreasonable to teach him some witty comebacks to respond to these little blighters that like to take the piss, and if it's NU, has anybody got any good ones?

OP posts:

HollyBerryBush · 05/01/2013 00:02

It happened at soft-play when I wasn't there and was from a child he hadn't met before, and is not likely to see again

So it's a one off comment by a stranger?

Original poster

DamnBamboo · 05/01/2013 00:02

Fish this particular incident which upset him the most, occurred outside school, but it has also cropped up at school recently too.

OP posts:

sheeesh · 05/01/2013 00:03

I've also joked with DDs saying , "whatevvvvvvaaaa" a la Vicky Pollard just cos it's funny...my thinking is if they keep that in their head it can help to diffuse any hurt

porridgewithalmondmilk · 05/01/2013 00:03

I'm not so sure "ignore him/her" is good advice for children who are being irritated by their classmates to be honest. It was the advice my mum gave me years ago.

I think an adult ignoring another adult would give them the message they weren't important enough to waste time on, while to a child, silence is seen as acceptance. It also means it's difficult to follow through - I remember sitting there with kids YELLING in my face, pretending I couldn't see them!

I like the "my glasses are the biggest problem you have?" comment. Perhaps he could add to this with something like "and you care because ...?" I think you are right to do role play with your son and hope the comments stop soon. x

BabysPointlessPocket · 05/01/2013 00:05

Sorry for the random . Phone grrr

nancy75 · 05/01/2013 00:07

I taught my dd just to say " I don't care" , she is 7 and has a particularly nasty little girl in her class who would always torment her with " you can't cone to my house/ play with me / come to my party" dd used to get upset but in this last year she has toughened up. Recently the other child was going on about " you can't come to my party" dd just kept saying " I don't care" there is not much the other kid can say to that.

fishcalledwonder · 05/01/2013 00:08

I think the role play idea is good too. Anything that stops it knocking his confidence. If it's happening at school, let the teacher know. I've taught this age group and would definitely want to know so I could drop it into a general class chat.

Cortana · 05/01/2013 00:10

"I don't need four eyes to see you're jealous of my glasses! You haven't stopped talking about them!"

perceptionreality · 05/01/2013 00:12

YANBU - my dd was having Queen bee issues at school (she's 9) and I bought her some books to help her which give tips on how to deal with different situations/ what you can say etc. I think she found it really empowering and has since felt much better about the whole thing now that she can see that this is something that happens to lots of people - so much so that there are books about it.

Carrie37 · 05/01/2013 00:18

Holly , DH's version of that was I'm just looking for 10p so can u ring someone who gives a fuck! but Dd8 goes with "and what about that?" or "and your point is?" and just repeats it no matter what they say.

notahappycamper · 05/01/2013 00:23

A bigger boy shouted to my Ds aged 4 "here comes fred four eyes" as we arrived at breakfast club. I was furious and about to say something. It seemed as though the place went quiet. Ds just shrugged and said "so I like my glasses." He walked off and left that gobby little shit sat there with his mouth open! The other bigger boys laughed at him.
Out of the mouths of babes!
I was proud of Ds

LizzieVereker · 05/01/2013 00:23

Ds1went with "if you say so" and "ok" with a smile and then ignoring, which seemed to work for him. The other boy left him alone after a couple of days when he could see DS wasn't bothered. Hope your DS is OK.

fishcalledwonder · 05/01/2013 00:28

Have to be careful though. Taught a quiet boy in Year 6 whose Dad set him up with a comeback for any taunts about being overweight. Took the kids away to camp, and a boy from another school insulted him. He replied: "I'm fat because every time I shag your mum she gives me cake." I was very proud and very cross all at the same time!

CatPussRoastingOnAnOpenFire · 05/01/2013 00:32

Any comebacks you teach your child now, for whatever reason, will come back and be used on you in years to come! be warned... mother of teenagers

amck5700 · 05/01/2013 00:44

You could always go with - "well that's not a nice thing to say - didn't your mother teach you any manners?" "or were you just too thick to understand?"

SquinkiesRule · 05/01/2013 05:57

OMG fishcalledwoner that was so funny I think I woke up Dd.
Ignoring a bully never worked for me. But I did the happy dance when she was moved to another school during the summer. When she turned up again the next term (house sale delay) she cornered me saying she heard I was happy she was moving, I shrugged and and said yes I was and walked away. Good job she could see how hard my heart was pounding, she never bothered me again.

SquinkiesRule · 05/01/2013 05:58

*She couldn't see my heart pounding

Flip

1 2